caz83 Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 So I had my second date with internet guy last night. It was nice, but I do find him hard to read. maybe its just me, I'm not used to the dating game, I hate this part where its all new and youre wondering whether they like you or not...drives me crazy! We went to a very nice restaurant in a big hotel for dinner and it was nice, he greeted me with a hug and dinner lasted for about 2 and a half hours with no awkward silence which I think is good. I didnt feel as comfortable as I did the first time because I felt like I was having a "fat day" (girls, you know how that feels!) and so I didnt feel like I looked as attractive as I did the first time we met, he prob didnt notice but you know when you just have those feelings!? At the end of the meal he said that he wants to take me upstairs because they have a big bar surrounded by glass and the view of the city is amazing, so we went up there and just had a llok at the view etc. My first thought is, if he wasnt interested or dinner didnt go well then he wouldnt have suggested that...he would have just wanted to go straight after dinner right? Anyway so we walked to out cars and he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek (which he didnt do after the first date) which again, is good sign. I got in my car, he went off to his car and I lost my parking ticket to get out of the car park! I was looking around my car for it and he must have driven past because he text saying "are you ok? youre still sitting there!" so I text back and said "yeah, Ive lost my parking ticket" and he text back straight away saying "ok, im turning round and coming back"..which I though was really nice, and it was nice to ask if I was ok. Anyway I found it so I text him to tell him and he replied with "haha, ok. Let me know when you get home safe" (because I had driven to his city..about 40mins away) So I thought that was all good. When I got home I text saying "I'm home now, thank you for tonight, it was lovely. I enjoyed it, hope you did too x" and he just replied with "No problem, night night x" Now im confused! If he enjoyed it, why wouldnt he say yeah I enjoyed it too!? It was a bit of a blunt and short message. BUT he did put a x on the end which he doesnt do very often. I dont know. I guess his reply kind of dissappointed me.
jerbear Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I wouldn't read to much in the shortness. I take this as an good sign and go with the flow. I would suggest getting an third date then go from there.
DustySaltus Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I think that he really put in a lot of effort and you have nothing to be worried about, unless..... You did something that made him feel that you were not into him. But that's not the case, was it?
Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Relax.. the dude may have been driving and in some cities its now illegal and ticket able to be caught txting while driving. He enjoyed.. must he say it also or are you that unskilled at body language? Cause everything points to positive.
Author caz83 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 haha, yeah maybe I am that unskilled at body language! I dont think I did anything to make him think that I wasnt interested. Maybe I'm just not very good at reading people. We have both been very honest with each other about what we like/dont like in a partner and he has very strong ideas on what he likes...he has told me about breaking up with girls before because of the slightest thing that they said or did that put him off. So I think I am just worrying because if I said something that he didnt like then that would probably be it!
Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 he has told me about breaking up with girls before because of the slightest thing that they said or did that put him off. So I think I am just worrying because if I said something that he didnt like then that would probably be it! Welcome to our world.. chicks do that to us all the time.. and 99% of the time.. never tell us about it so we are left wondering wtf happened.
Author caz83 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 yeah, see I'm not like that. And I have never met a guy before that has such clear cut likes/dislikes so it worries me that I could put him off so easily by saying someting wrong. I suppose I am just after confirmation that I havent put him off!
Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 It happens.. probably more often then not.. For example.. in my case.. a hatred or allergy to cats is a dealbreaker. It dosen't matter how nice the girl is or how attracted I am to her.. if she has a problem with cats.. thats it.. game over. Personally I try to find out this bit of info asap so I can determine if I will continue or not. Its not her fault.. its nooones but its something I cannot overlook. I have 2 cats that have been with me for years.. I wont give them up for anyone. Anyone that suddenly suggests it finds themselves on the wrong side of the front door soon after.
Author caz83 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Well we have the same views and opinions in regards to the "important" things in relationships...or what we consider important anyway and had good conversation about it. I'm just trying to think now if I said anything wrong. I still havent really heard from him. If I go on body language then that was ok, the kiss on the cheek (which he didnt do on the first date) and putting his hand on the small of my back when we were going through a door or something (which, again he didnt do on the first date) but then the next day I hardly hear from him. He did text me, but only in response to the 2 texts I sent him, and they werent particularly chatty. And he didnt reply to my 3rd. BUT I know that I have felt this way before in because of the shortness/abruptness of his texts, eg. last friday (2 days after our first date) I didnt hear from him atall! he I text him and he didnt reply and I didnt hear from him untill the next day. So mabye thats just the way he is. I suppose I just wish he was a bit more forthcoming in letting me know if he is interested or not. Most guys at the end of one date will let you know if there is going to be another, even if its just saying "we should do it again sometime" but with this guy I am left guessing! I do think he is seeing other people too, so maybe he is just not committing to anything yet, playing it cool untill he likes one more than another. I do think the date went ok, its just the lack of contact afterwards that has got me worried. But like I said previously, from what I know of him I think that if he wasnt interested then he wouldnt waste his time contacting atall. So what should I do today? Leave it for him to contact me? I like to text him to see if he responds as I see that as a good sign...but I dont want to be the one doing all the contacting. But I'm worried that if I dont contact him, then he wont contact me..and then I'll feel rubbish!
FilthMerchant Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Don't sit on dates trying to read people, try to have fun instead. People reveal themselves sooner or later regardless and your behaviour is moodkilling. You will have no success as one of those women who sits around trying to read and qualify who they are dating. He sounds like he enjoyed it. You are overanalyzing it and you'll end up screwing everything up if you do that. Just go with the flow, have fun, if he enjoyed it he'll invite you out again/accept your invitation.
Author caz83 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I didnt/dont try and read people on the date. It is afterwards that I am thinking about it. and I have had plenty of dating success thank you
FilthMerchant Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 You can't be that great if you sit around afterwards overanalyzing like a lovestarved teenager Just don't bother analyzing. I'm only trying to help. No need for hostility
Author caz83 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 think what you like. I came on here for advice, not to be judged
FilthMerchant Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Lol. You weren't judged. All I've said is not to overanalyze.
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