Mr Nice Guy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 did you date him/her or was it a friend, coworker, etc? I went through the last 5 months falling for a girl who didn't tell me that didn't like me in the way I did. Instead of telling me straight out (which may or may not happen) in the first month and a half that she wasn't interested even though she knew that I really liked her (I hadn't told her yet), she gave the indication that she was and could be. It was only last night that I finally decided to tell her that I had fallen for her in a big way and she knocked me back and it turns out that I wasted the last 5 months pursuing something that wasn't going to happen ever. It sucks, I know. I had thrown her every little bit of interest and it felt like it was gathered up piece by piece and thrown back at me in one huge ball. I don't think she really took my interest seriously recently until I seriously asked her. actually- I'm friends with this guy(coworker) who told me he has fallen in love with me and has loved me for a while. I never had any clue and don't know what I should do about it. I agree with the one main point from the other posters here that you have to be really careful about giving him false hope. Like gypsy_nicky says if you're clearly not interested in him that way, let him know in your actions as well as words because he will get confused and might still pursue you, setting up a lot of pain and hurt feelings later when you knock him back. With that girl I mentioned above, I went through exactly that. She never told me that she wasn't interested, never said no and she was always there, making so much effort to talk online and coming along to the big events that I had on. She also didn't tell me not to touch her whenever I was being affectionate towards her especially at our family Christmas party that we had on. It gave me the impression that she was interested. The only thing that she did say was that she might not be ready for a relationship right now, but would be soon. That gave me false hope that I needed to get my heart broken in the end when I finally told her my feelings for her and in return receive her lack of interest. Maybe it was her fault that she never told me. Maybe its my fault that I totally misread her. But its over with now and its time to move on. She's an amazing girl, but I wish she told me outright that she didn't like me that way, and also wish she gave me a chance and got to know me better over time after initially showing so much interest other than write me off so early on after we first met. Maybe anything is possible, but if you seriously think that nothing will happen and he keeps pursuing you might need to put your foot down. Personally, I'd give it some space to let it settle for a bit before anything else happens.
duskandsummer Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 both times I fell in love they didn't love me back. Although I feel the first time was an infatuation..more than love. I wanted him because he didn't want me. At first he did and I had no interest in him..and then when he moved on..I fell so hard for him. And then the guy im always talking about on here..I can say I truly and honestly love. I haven't told him and I don't think I ever will. If the opportunity presents itself and he doesn't have a gf anymore..then yes I'll say it if I still feel it. Didn't have anything with him..we have been talking for 3 years..and now we don't talk anymore and I still feel the way I do..which sucks. Unrequited love is all I've experienced and its the hardest thing to go through to be honest. I think its the most painful of all the heartbreaks in the world.
DiscoChick Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Yes, I still love him. I was friends with him before we started dating. We were together like nineteen months before we broke up the first time. I was totally heartbroken, but we got back together like six months later. This time it lasted seven months. He said he sucked at the relationship thing,so I told him we should just stop seeing one another. Then we started doing the date/sex thing. Worked for a whole five months before he told me he wanted to be with someone else. Whatever. I just hope he's happy, wherever he goes in life.
tami-chan Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Ever loved someone who didn't love you back? No.....well, not yet . Right now, I think I love him more than he loves me...although, I could be totally wrong...this is a first for me...
bananaboat11 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 i'm in love with my ex-boyfriend. we only dated for 4 months, and broke up after our first real bump in the road. it wasn't even that big of a bump, but he's been hurt in the past, and i know he was scared. i do know that if he really wanted to be with me, he would have made the effort to work things out. that was 3 months ago. we still talk everyday. i just realized a few days ago that i really am in love with him. oh well. You from NY?
blueberries Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I have and do (I think)... He's my bestfriend. i've never told him but i think he knows that i care about him a great deal. The reason why i say 'i think' i love him is because for me to love someone, that would mean that i'm willing to spend the rest of my life with him and only him, through thick and thin, my life would be a disaster if he were no longer in this world. unfortunately, he's in love with someone else *sigh*
LonelyGuy85 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I can totally understand. I really like this girl i work with, i have done so for months but i have never gotten the courage to ask her out because i am useless when it comes to signals, and to make matters worse some people that know us both have said that they can see signs whilst others say they can't or just haven't really noticed any. So i have to ask myself, is it better to ask her out regardless of a yes or no answer and cope with the outcome, or to carry on as i am? My fear of rejection is crippling though.
alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Ever loved someone who didn't love you back? er, no, not really
Ro2Pi Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 It's like being a kid who spots that single toy that stands out from the rest. That one toy that we decide to pour all our efforts and energy into earning enough money to buy. And when we finally go back to the store with beating hearts and racing minds of anticipation we find that they're all sold out. Our hearts sink to the deepest pits in our body as we stare at that other kid who had his parents simply buy it for them without a sweat. I don't mean to belittle one's love for that special someone by comparing to a toy but... I hope that feeling of unfairness and enormous disappointment got across. For me the feeling is slowly passing as days goes by. It's hard to even consider trying to find another that could possibly fill those shoes you made for someone else. Analogies aside, the feeling sucks. Especially if it had been a LTR like mine because it's harder to let go. Try to look forward and remember that our hopes and dreams are a renewable resource within ourselves.
shadowplay Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Yes, I have. It's incredibly painful, because you feel like they're the only person you'll ever feel that strongly about. You can't imagine a life never being able to touch them.
shadowplay Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 (edited) It's like being a kid who spots that single toy that stands out from the rest. That one toy that we decide to pour all our efforts and energy into earning enough money to buy. And when we finally go back to the store with beating hearts and racing minds of anticipation we find that they're all sold out. Our hearts sink to the deepest pits in our body as we stare at that other kid who had his parents simply buy it for them without a sweat. That actually describes the feeling perfectly, but multiply it by a factor of ten and make the toy the only thing that you believe will ever make you truly, truly happy in the course of your life. That disappointment is profound, and it compares to nothing else. Edited January 12, 2010 by shadowplay
Payden Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Yes I have and they did not have the same feelings. Both were online friendships. The first one, yes..I was in deep love..it was hard to go through knowing it wouldn't be anything more than a dull online friendship. The second was just more of a sisterly type love... I thought it felt like more, but it wasn't. No biggie on that one. All I know is from both of these instances....online romance is not my niche.
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