sugar_and_spice Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 did you date him/her or was it a friend, coworker, etc?
curiousnycgirl Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Dated him for 5.5 years. All along he said he loved me, but his actions contradicted that. Broke up 3 weeks ago. Save yourself this pain, torture and wasted time. Run forest RUN!
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 actually- I'm friends with this guy(coworker) who told me he has fallen in love with me and has loved me for a while. I never had any clue and don't know what I should do about it.
boogieboy Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 actually- I'm friends with this guy(coworker) who told me he has fallen in love with me and has loved me for a while. I never had any clue and don't know what I should do about it. Stop being friends with him if youre not going to date him. If you dont stop, it will only get worse. Tell him straight up you cant talk to each other, and that will stop his infatuation.
squeaky Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 i'm in love with my ex-boyfriend. we only dated for 4 months, and broke up after our first real bump in the road. it wasn't even that big of a bump, but he's been hurt in the past, and i know he was scared. i do know that if he really wanted to be with me, he would have made the effort to work things out. that was 3 months ago. we still talk everyday. i just realized a few days ago that i really am in love with him. oh well.
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Stop being friends with him if youre not going to date him. If you dont stop, it will only get worse. Tell him straight up you cant talk to each other, and that will stop his infatuation. he was the one who said he was happy to continue as friends if I didn't feel the same.
Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 he was the one who said he was happy to continue as friends if I didn't feel the same. Thats because he still thinks he may eventually get the chance with you. If thats not the case.. then let him go.. or you will end up using the dude as a doormat.
DustySaltus Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 My ex went from saying, "You'll never leave me right? You'll be my husband and a great, great father and i'll always be with you. I love you sooooo much" to............ "I am going to get you back for all you did to hurt me. You are not the person I thought you were. I'm so glad I found this out now. No, I don't love you. Your mom is fake. You were never serious about us. I'm going to ruin your life (and she tried)" So to answer your question....yes.
ella23 Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Thats because he still thinks he may eventually get the chance with you. If thats not the case.. then let him go.. or you will end up using the dude as a doormat. I agree with this
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Thats because he still thinks he may eventually get the chance with you. If thats not the case.. then let him go.. or you will end up using the dude as a doormat. what do I tell him? I don't see why he would believe I will fall for him.
anne1707 Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 what do I tell him? I don't see why he would believe I will fall for him. But you are giving him false hope every time you laugh or smile at something he says or does. Just because you know you won't fall for him, does not mean he knows - no matter how often you tell him you won't. Give him the space he needs
Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 what do I tell him? I don't see why he would believe I will fall for him. Cause he is naive.. do you always believe things that are obvious to you and you know better? Of course not... Hope isn't always a good thing. You can either distance yourself from him a bit or be very clear you aren't interested.. You may have to cause some pain to get the point across.. like literally saying "Please don't touch me" when he tries.. after a few times he will get the message
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Cause he is naive.. do you always believe things that are obvious to you and you know better? Of course not... Hope isn't always a good thing. You can either distance yourself from him a bit or be very clear you aren't interested.. You may have to cause some pain to get the point across.. like literally saying "Please don't touch me" when he tries.. after a few times he will get the message yeah, he tries to do that sometimes. I guess I'll have to tell him
bluewolf17 Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 did you date him/her or was it a friend, coworker, etc? Yes. My first "love". 7th grade through most of high school. It seemed one of us was always in a relationship, but I always wanted to be with him. Seems whenever he was single again..he would pick someone else..and I would be wondering.."why not me?". But it was always..you're the perfect girl for me, why can't x be like you...etc etc. Took me forever to realize I just wasn't his type physically. He liked girls under 100lb and under 5"2, IE..not me. . We did end up dating...if that's what you want to call it..but it led to a lot of heartache and confusion. I would never put myself in that situation again. Only be with someone who knows what the want (and they are sure it's you!)
2sure Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Yep. Plenty of guys. They liked the way I looked, they liked that I had a profession, they liked the people I knew. They wanted someone to have on their arm, and I guess on paper I looked like wife material or something to them. Something to show off to their friends. But you know, eventually I expected them to want to get to know me, or realize there was more to me than being an accessory....They didnt love me, not one of them, not really.
GiveAndTake Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 actually- I'm friends with this guy(coworker) who told me he has fallen in love with me and has loved me for a while. I never had any clue and don't know what I should do about it. I've seen what the other posters wrote, that you should stop being friends with him. But... What if you do fall for him one day? My first boyfriend and I were friends for months and all the while he was trying to get with me. I had absolutely, no interest. I ended up dating him for 4 years. You never know
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 I don't see it happening, though it's possible
boogieboy Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I don't see it happening, though it's possible OH so you like the attention from him. YOu enjoy the work he is putting into you, when you know you dont have to do any work in return?
aerogurl87 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 My most recent ex boyfriend but that relationship was odd. At first he loved me (or at least claimed to) and I didn't love him back for a few months. Then when I actually fell in love with him, he didn't love me back anymore and decided he wanted to go flirt with other girls in order to boost his ego (although he also claimed at that point he still loved me and wanted to be with me). HA!
gypsy_nicky Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 OP, unrequited love is difficult for both parties. You have to bear the fault of 'leading him on' (which isn't actually the case) and he has to bear the fault of misreading your friendly acts as 'mixed' signals. Like what the others here have said, you have to make it clear to him that your not interested in him in that way (both verbally and in your actions). But... you also said its possible. Do you have feelings for him as well, or you haven't thought it through and through yet because it came to you as a surprise?
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 OP, unrequited love is difficult for both parties. You have to bear the fault of 'leading him on' (which isn't actually the case) and he has to bear the fault of misreading your friendly acts as 'mixed' signals. Like what the others here have said, you have to make it clear to him that your not interested in him in that way (both verbally and in your actions). But... you also said its possible. Do you have feelings for him as well, or you haven't thought it through and through yet because it came to you as a surprise? I was replying to giveandtake's post that of course anything is possible.
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 OH so you like the attention from him. YOu enjoy the work he is putting into you, when you know you dont have to do any work in return? no, I genuinely like him, but not in that way.
seibert253 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Been head over heals in love twice with girls who just wanted to be friends. As long as I live, I will never forget the time I went to kiss the one, and she turned her head. Fu#k that sucked. Looking back, I think I was too nice and didn't present a challenge to them. Wasted about 1 year on each of them.
Author sugar_and_spice Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 I have tried telling him that I don't see my feelings for him changing, but he again said he's more than happy to be 'just friends'.
Ro2Pi Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Dated him for 5.5 years. All along he said he loved me, but his actions contradicted that. Broke up 3 weeks ago. Save yourself this pain, torture and wasted time. Run forest RUN! Same with me. Dated for 2 years, was told that the last entire year was bull**** but she didn't have the courage to say so... Always told me everything was fine and that she loved me. I deluded myself and believed it was true to not get hurt. Broke up about 2 months ago It truly is an enormous waste of time.
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