kyta Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Why when we break up and try and move on, do we sit ther and think of everything that will make us hurt, ive noticed that i can be sort of ok with everything, then its like i want to make myself hurt, and feel pain, i put myself where it hurts so bad, i end up making myself cry and feel life aint worth living. we both said we would stay friends, but almost every other day she starts an argument over the same issue, that i went to her friends house for a cuppa tea 3 wks ago, her best friend is a guy same age as me, and i got to know him well for the last 18 months, so i popped in for a cuppa, and now 3 wks on she still argues with me about it, yesterday was are last argument, she started about it, in the end she told me to delete her, but then she tx me last nite at 12.30am wtf. But why do we or i put myself in the position when i want to feel the pain and cry, feel sad, and just want life to end? its almost like i like it here in pain and dont want to b happy. 1
tVII Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 i do the same. ive realized i do the "arguement" because i want to SETTLE the arguement and come to PEACE with the conclusion. my best advice is write it down rather than thinking. it really puts it down more. BEST ADVICE i would give on this forum. write your thoughts down and come to conclusions ONE BY ONE. not the whole arguement. break down "points".
Simon Attwood Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Even though, rationally, there may be nothing to feel guilty over, she feels guilt over her friendship with another man. She tries to hide her guilt because it doesn't seem rational because there is nothing to it. The guilt makes her angry, but because she hides it from herself, that anger cannot be aimed at herself, so she aims it at you. She needs an outlet for her feelings of shame and confusion, and you are that outlet.
Quinch Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 sounds like you need to go no-contact for a while. I had a bad breakup with a girl and decided not to let her mess me about any more. I stopped having any feelings for her at all; neither love nor hate - just nothing. she did not even exist as far as I was concerned and it helped me get some perspective back in my life and focus on the more important things.
Simon Attwood Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 And then again, their may be a basis for her guilt. She may have repressed feelings for this guy that go beyond friendship, and she protects that friendship so that others cannot see in to her, things that she is avoiding seeing in herself.
Author kyta Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 she was with this other guy for 3 years before, but he hit her many times, and they have split up many many times, last year for 6 months when she was with some one else, then she went back to him, he hit her with a table leg just before last xmas, then we got together for 8 and a half months, and during that time all she would go on about is how bad he was to her, it felt like she couldnt let him go, and now she feels she has to help him with his addiction, he allways blames her for leaving him that he went to drugs, o i dont know im just so confused, i just want to make my self hurt over her all the time this life just sucks. And then again, their may be a basis for her guilt. She may have repressed feelings for this guy that go beyond friendship, and she protects that friendship so that others cannot see in to her, things that she is avoiding seeing in herself.
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