xerofate Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Hey all- Today was a tough day. I don't really know why. I just woke up and said "aww ****... it's gonna be one of those days!" And it was. This past saturday her son said to me "Mommy says she misses you." Awesome. Great. She's thinking about me. I was on a high all day. Till I found out she missed me so much, she had her new boyfriend over. Today, I ended the day by driving by her house. I had gotten a text message to go over to my friends house, and pretty much the only way to get there is right by her house. We have a daughter together, a beutiful 1 1/2 year old. I asked her to keep her boyfriend away until things settled down a bit, until she was comfortable with the break up. It's been two weeks. He was there, and she has my daughter. Bitch. Oh I wanted to scream at her, to rage, to tell her what a "good mother" I thought she was. But I didn't. I called my friend, told him I changed my mind, and went home to sulk. I keep repeating to myself that I can't do anything to bring her back, only things to drive her away. It's impossible for NC, cause we have our daughter. So every two or three days, I get to text her and set plans for the future visitation. Christmas is right around the corner. We should be spending it together. The worst thing is, i can list the reasons why we shouldn't be together! I can label all the things she did to me, all the reasons why she isn't the type of person I want to be with. Why she doesn't deserve me. And they are all, 100% true. She used sex as a tool. When we did have sex she made me feel guilty. She made me feel guilty about seeing my son. She would withold affection (and sex) to get what she wanted. She would purposly do things to start fights, then blame them on me. IT goes on and on. I can only list one reason why I want her back. I love her. God this sucks so much!
LikeABirdWhoFlew Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Man, all I can say is I'm sorry and that I can feel your pain. I too can list all the reasons why we are no good for each other. I made a list, ended up with like 17 reasons. The one reason I do want to be with her, I love her. This sh*t really sucks man, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
skydiveaddict Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 i'me sure thats more painful than i can imagine just hang in there bro
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