LovelyDaze Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Might be an old wives' tale.. but what do you all think? I was with my ex from January to the end of October but knew him as a friend a couple of months longer. How's your timetable going?
D-Lish Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I think you have some semblence of control over your personal timeline. I also think each break up is different. I've had long term relationships and experienced less impact than some that have lasted for a mere three months. I spent three months with a guy last year- and he's still in my head. I also haven't severed contact with him- so the onus of my slow recovery is on me. (That's what I mean when I say we do have control over our recovery). When it came to my eight year relationship with my exH- I guess it did take me about 4 years to "get right" afterward. I think I was done with the crying and heartache after about a year and a half- then I was left with the residual issues. Actually- I think I still have them:o, lol.
Author LovelyDaze Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 I think you have some semblence of control over your personal timeline. I also think each break up is different. I've had long term relationships and experienced less impact than some that have lasted for a mere three months. I spent three months with a guy last year- and he's still in my head. I also haven't severed contact with him- so the onus of my slow recovery is on me. (That's what I mean when I say we do have control over our recovery). When it came to my eight year relationship with my exH- I guess it did take me about 4 years to "get right" afterward. I think I was done with the crying and heartache after about a year and a half- then I was left with the residual issues. Actually- I think I still have them:o, lol. Awww. Yea, those residual issues came up every now and again with me too! I am a great believer in "if it was meant to be, it will happen" and nothing can stop that. My ex is just awful with dumping his GF to try to come back to me, only to reconcile with her the next day. He's a mental case and I wish to be over him...um...yesterday!
tryagaintoday Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I'm prove that this is just an old wives' tale. btw does this only apply to dumpees? Because dumpers sure as hell didn't take long to get over.
tVII Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 ummm 6 months and 9 months in. but i work with her sooooo my brother: 2 years: 8 months (followed NC) 2 weeks: 5 months (didn't follow NC) hope this is helpful! haha i think everyone takes their own time.
nobmagnet Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Fraid the statement is an old wives tale.!!!!!!!!!! It depends on howlong the dumper had withdrawn before the split. Mine wasbetween 4 and 2 years before the end. My recovery is complete. I feel nothing for him and am in the pleasant position of dreaming of my future. I think what i am tryingto say is that when you have an ex that treated you badly for ages you feel some kind of relife after the initial pain, terrified and greiving process. When you alone realise that it was a bad relationship, you did your very best against somebody who had emotionall left you years ago and resented you for standing in their way....................its a relief. That how I feel anyway!!!!! lowlyworm has left the building.............hurahhhhhhhhh
bluestraps Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 God, I hope not. That means i've got 4 years and 9 months to go . Unless you can count from the last time she left me, so 3 years !
bluestraps Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I think i'ts based on what happened in the relationship. A breakup that was particulary nasty and painfull probably takes longer to get over. And the persons outlook on the relationship will make a difference. I think it's a good idea to think of all the things that were wrong or problematic from the dumpees point of view. Relationships are not one sided I could make a list of things that annoyed me about my ex girlfriend , some I could overlook and some I wish she could change
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