Revec Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) I have a friend I have discussed on another topic. When I saw her this morning I could tell she was upset about something (she's usually very upbeat). Unfortunately, I could not talk to her at that time so I waited until lunch to speak with her. When I did she asked if anyone was nearby and when I said no she whispered that her oldest son (16) told her Sunday morning that his girlfriend was pregnant and the child was his. She looked like she was about to cry right then but kept it together and said that she would tell me more about what happened later. I'm basically wondering what I should do when this conversation happens. I know I should listen but is there anything I should say to her? My other thought was to maybe give her my Christmas present tomorrow instead of at the Christmas party on the 24th (it's a small gift that she doesn't know about) to cheer her up. Or is that not a good idea? Edited December 22, 2009 by Revec
pureveritas Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Wow.. as a mother of a teenage boy myself, I can TOTALLY understand why this would be so devastating to her. What's done is done. Not sure there's a whole lot you can do other than let her know she's got someone to talk to when/if she's ready. It'll take a while to process no doubt. Just be a good friend and be there when she needs you!
Author Revec Posted December 27, 2009 Author Posted December 27, 2009 Yes she's very upset about it. She has started smoking again and hasn't said much to anyone this week. I did decide to give her the Christmas present on Tuesday. She initially was suprised and very happy about the gift. However as she was starting to give me a hug she broke down and began to cry, telling me that her son's life was ruined and it was all her fault. I replied that he made this choice, not her, and that she shouldn't blame herself for what happened. She then told me she feels alone and I simply said that it wasn't true and that I would be there whenever she needed to talk. We talked a little bit more about what happened on Sunday, but mostly I just held her close until it was time to go back to work. She seemed better most of the day so I feel I made the right choice. I wish I could have done more but I'm not sure what else I could do or say.
britneymark Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Really I appreciate your great mind. Don't leave her and be with her all the time.
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