My boyfriend of 2 years has broken up with me

[Patricia09]

So we were going out for 2 years and living together half a year and 3 weeks ago we had an argument and he left and went back to his own house. The argument was about him worrying abu havng to let out his house I think because it was his batchelor pad for so long. Then 2 days later he came back and promised me the world, said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and would rent out his house etc. We were also supposed to go travelling together to America next year for a year which was my idea but he sad he wanted to do it too so it was all good.

So all was good and the next evening we went out and had dinner and came back home and he said he felt something was missing and he packed his stuff and left.

He came back a few days later to get the rest of his things and was crying and said he didnt now what he was doing but needed to be on his own, get back to the gym training etc etc then he left and never contacted me again.

I have unfortunately contacted him by email and text a few times and his answers were cold and repeated that something was missing for him in the relationship that couldnt be fixed and to stop contacting him as anymore cntact would mean if our pathsever crossed again we wouldnt be able to speak to each other. I have been soheartbroken but haven contacted him again in last eek and dont intend to ether

I suppose I was just wondering i this has happened to anyone before and if so do you think there is a change of in time him coming back or do you think he just wants me to go away and leave him alone? I still love him very much but am very hurt by the way he has done this and not giving me a proper reason I am intending to go ahead travelling by myself in 4 months to get some distance and some personal happines.

Thanks to anyone you can help.

Pat

[Buckeye Candy]

I'm sorry to hear it. He obviously is unhappy with the current situation and needs time away to figure out what precisely it is that is making him unhappy.

 

While hurtful now, ultimately something better will come of this. Whether that is a reconciliation or you moving onward and becoming involved in a healthier and happier relationship.

 

Sometimes, you can only figure out what went wrong in retrospect and even then there may always be questions. Closure happens when you let go. No one else can give you closure.

 

Take care of yourself and use this opportunity of being alone to discover something greater about yourself.

 

Good luck.

[harmfulsweetz]

I think you need to focus on you, not him, and whether or not he is going to come back. Put it this way-he may never come back, and you could waste months waiting on him to. It may be that he needs time and distance to work out what is missing for him, he may miss you, he may see it was all in his head, but he may not. Whilst there's a real chance of that, you should move forward with your life, concentrate on you.

 

Closure comes from acceptance, you accepting what was, what has been and what will be. He can never give you closure, so I wouldn't look for it there. Look for it within you. It's hard to let it go especially when for you, it was all working. But I read somewhere, actually I believe it's in It's called a Break up because it's broken by Greg Behrendt, that two people can be seemingly in the same relationship to the outside world, and even inner the relationship, but really, in two different relationships. While you may have been thinking everything is sweet and smelling of roses, he was probably thinking the complete opposite. You need to find someone in the same relationship, thinking the same thoughts about it, etc. Sort of on your page. He's not. Therefore, not worth bothering with. It happens. But the more you focus on getting him back, and his 'reasons', the more time you waste. You may get answers from him, you may not. And the answers you do get, may be lies. So why bother?

 

I suggest NC from this point forward, make yourself unavailable to him, and do what is right for you.

 

Have fun on your travels, and hope I helped

 

Good luck

[harmfulsweetz]

End Note: You mentioned how reluctant he was to rent out his 'bachelor pad'-suggests to me he was always keeping his options open, and really, desired the bachelor lifestyle.