Ingersoll Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I'm here because I broke up with my girlfriend whom I'll refer to as "K". I was and still am in love with her. It was an up and down relationship that I blamed her for mostly. She's jealous, not trusting, accusatory, and sometimes downright paranoid. I was never able to communicate to her effectively that I would never cheat her and indeed I never did cheat on her. Since I met her I didn't want anyone else and I still don't. I miss her deeply. She's all I think about. In retrospect there are certainly things I could have done better. Our biggest issue was my ex-wife. The ex-wife is intrusive and calls and texts too much. We do have kids together so there is a requisite amount of communication that needs to take place. But she tried to communicate too much and was often times insulting to K. My solution was to simply ignore the ex-wife because responding only brought more communication with her. If I ignored her she would eventually go away. But this wasn't satisfactory for K, she wanted me to do something more. I did do what she asked me to do; I called up the ex and told it was b.s. and please stop. At one point I even had my attorney send her a letter. The next step was a restraining order but the rift between K and the ex put a strain on the relationship between me and my oldest daughter. It was really stressful. I wasn't willing to file the restraining for what I perceived was for the better for me and my kids. It never got better. K would go from zero to furious any time the ex would call, even if it was necessary. And it would cause a fight between us. I told her over and over again that she was letting the ex get the best of her while she maintained that I didn't care enough to about her; if I did would get a restraining order. Every time my phone rang it would stress me out. K would look at my phone or outright grab it to see who it was that was calling me. If it was the ex, there would be a fight. There were other issues in the relationship but that was the biggest one. That was the one that ended it. I got so fed up with hearing her go on about it on a near daily basisthat I finally gave up. I have to communicate with the ex to a certain degree and the situation wasn't getting any better. Should I have gotten a restraining order against my ex? I could certainly prove she communicates too much (as many as 75+ texts and phone calls a month). Did I fail K by not doing the restraining order thing? Does this make me ultimately responsible for the death of the relationship? I want her back and this time I'd get the restraining order. But jeez, I've put my friends through so much crap, having to hear me go on about this whole thing. And it ain't the first time. We've broken up before. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and move on but this hurts so much. And I feel like I didn't do everything I could... I know I didn't. God, I miss her. And the idea that it happened over someone I left 4 years ago makes me sick to my stomach.
Author Ingersoll Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Oh, I wanted to add that we'd been together for 15 months. This wasn't a quick thing. We'd even talked about marriage.
Recommended Posts