meerkat stew Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 most child support agreements state that college expenses are to be 50/50 I'm talking state statutory CS provisions, not mutually negotiated support agreements and breach of same, which fall outside the topic completely.
meerkat stew Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Like I said somewhere else, men have done it to themselves. Wanted to chime in here and agree wholeheartedly for the benefit of those who think my position is just a front for hatred of women. Men are to blame for much of the troubles they have allowed to befall them.
meerkat stew Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) you guys are so focused on teh money. I find it appaling that most of the men here could easily walk away from a child. Do you ever think about how the child will feel knowing his/her dad doesn't care about them. Have you ever thought about what that does to a child? If the child found you what would you say to them? This is an unfair personal attack on several posters. One reason I never had kids was the immense gravity of that decision. If one is not certain they have the right partner, tested over years of being together, one shouldn't have children. If one does make the decision to bring a child into the world, one should be in a position to feed and clothe that child to majority age. If one has children, and then can't summon the basic backbone to stay together as a family, there is social blame, not massive evil blame, but some social blame for the situation. To hear many women tell it, it's all about men impregnating them and then running off. Sure there's some of that, but as I've said previously, single motherhood is a cottage industry where I live, so women are just as culpable in the amount of single parent families. The days of assuming that a single parent household means that some man ran away from his responsibilities are over. That it is unfair that men have no say in the decision to have a child after the sperm breeches the egg is a valid position, and moreover, is not equivalent to stating that they would blithely walk away from their responsibilities. Finally, we place way too much emphasis on children in our culture, due to an unduly feminized zeitgeist of the last 30 years that has "blossomed" to a ridiculous degree. Children are neither all "special," nor are they "our future." We passed the point of reproduction as a social duty and necessity in the early 20th century. They are -your- children, are people with rights just like all others, but that's it. Indulgence and de facto deification of children is the new religion in America. We have mostly female politics and sentimentality to thank for that. Soon after my 13th birthday, my Dad told me one Sunday, "Hey guess what, it's time for you to get a job and start paying some of your own way," and of course he had a job all lined up for me. Looking back, that, not provision of summer camp or riding lessons or any other outlay, etc. was my Dad's single greatest contribution as a father to my development and character. I can't tell you the last time I've seen a 14-15 y.o. working a daily summer job, not even in fast food restaurants, where such jobs are easy to get. Everyone I see working "teenager" jobs these days are already 21 or older. Edited December 23, 2009 by meerkat stew
hotgurl Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 This is an unfair personal attack on several posters. One reason I never had kids was the immense gravity of that decision. If one is not certain they have the right partner, tested over years of being together, one shouldn't have children. If one does make the decision to bring a child into the world, one should be in a position to feed and clothe that child to majority age. If one has children, and then can't summon the basic backbone to stay together as a family, there is social blame, not massive evil blame, but some social blame for the situation. I don't think it it unfair. Because basically that is what the guys are saying I don't want a kids I didn't have a choice, why should I take responsibility. as a child whose father walked away I feel I have a goo idea of what it does to ones self esteem. and yes my parents were married, he found another woman and left I haven't seen him since I was 1. walking away from a child says a lot about someones character. In ONS situations I understand how this can be more complicated but in the OP situation he was married to the woman. To hear many women tell it, it's all about men impregnating them and then running off. Sure there's some of that, but as I've said previously, single motherhood is a cottage industry where I live, so women are just as culpable in the amount of single parent families. The days of assuming that a single parent household means that some man ran away from his responsibilities are over. no it takes two to get pregnant but yes it is the guys fault for running off. I understand some women get pregnant to keep a man etc.. but I feel these women do not deserve support. But than how many other men will used that excuse to get out of thier responsibility. Also there is the child to consider regardless of how the pregnancy occured. That it is unfair that men have no say in the decision to have a child after the sperm breeches the egg is a valid position, and moreover, is not equivalent to stating that they would blithely walk away from their responsibilities. men have a decision at the beganing. If you got an STD you couldn't stamp your feet and make it go away either. anyways it is biology and I can't see how we can change it. Being pregnant sucks frankly and I would be than happy to have men do it. Also it still can be dangerous for women. women still die from child birth. I had a very difficult pregnacy and my friend who is pregnant just had o be hospitilized. Also abortion and adoption are not walks in the park either esp when you are alone making the decision. Man think abortion is the easy way out maybe for them it is ut it can be really tramatic for women. Finally, we place way too much emphasis on children in our culture, due to an unduly feminized zeitgeist of the last 30 years that has "blossomed" to a ridiculous degree. Children are neither all "special," nor are they "our future." We passed the point of reproduction as a social duty and necessity in the early 20th century. They are -your- children, are people with rights just like all others, but that's it. Indulgence and de facto deification of children is the new religion in America. We have mostly female politics and sentimentality to thank for that. I don't agree with overindulging kids. I think it does more harm than good. Soon after my 13th birthday, my Dad told me one Sunday, "Hey guess what, it's time for you to get a job and start paying some of your own way," and of course he had a job all lined up for me. Looking back, that, not provision of summer camp or riding lessons or any other outlay, etc. was my Dad's single greatest contribution as a father to my development and character. I can't tell you the last time I've seen a 14-15 y.o. working a daily summer job, not even in fast food restaurants, where such jobs are easy to get. Everyone I see working "teenager" jobs these days are already 21 or older. in Vermont you cannot get a job unless you are 16. My daughter who is 14 is dying to get a job. She found out she can be a life guard at a camp she went to at the age of fifteen. So as long as she take the course and passes it she is in. Since she has been going there for three years and they like her. Of course the course and certification cost about $300. but it is worth it. Also someone mention having family babysit. I didn't have the option my parents both work and My extended family lives far away so I had to have daycare.
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