Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 ^ I hear ya guys.... I'm by no means a sexually inexperienced dude...like I said, I've just been mired in 2 long term relationships since I was in college 10 years ago, so I'm doing this dating thing for the first time. Sadly, I have never initiated a first kiss either...always been the girl... My main concern with the kiss is not me being able to do it - im fine there...its being respectful to her and not wanting her to think im too pushy. But from everything I've read here, that is NOT the case and I should do this! Thanks for the support everyone!!! Umm in this case.. forget respect.. If you try to kiss her and she burns you.. ok.. move on If you try and she accepts.. game on Women expect 2 things out of thier men.. Acting like a man and having the confidence and drive to go for what you want. If you want a kiss then you better be ready to go for it. The dating game is almost Nietzscheian... Indecisiveness breeds Hesitation Hesitation is weakness and weakness is death
v g Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 "how about this-let's assume everything is going really well until one of us tells the other person otherwise?" " that way we don't worry about anything" Some chicks have balls, I like that. Some women with more experience know when a guy's 'unsure' and take steps to let you know what's up and they don't automatically think you're a 'wuss'. That's nice too. What a great idea!
GiveAndTake Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Women expect 2 things out of thier men.. Correct me if I'm wrong, but, wouldn't a woman know what she expects from her man better than, let's say, a man?
meerkat stew Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Do I have this about right? Way too much has gone into this thought of a first kiss for a 30+ year old dude. hahaha, you are doing fine, it's gonna be nice for both of you, no worries. next week you will be posting a thread "holy crap, how do i get this insatiable woman to stop kissing me?!"
Yukikazi Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Correct me if I'm wrong, but, wouldn't a woman know what she expects from her man better than, let's say, a man? I'll correct you when I am corrected first. And you would presume so.. but experience and lots of people have proven that women don't always know what they want.. much less how to tell us.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 hahaha, you are doing fine, it's gonna be nice for both of you, no worries. next week you will be posting a thread "holy crap, how do i get this insatiable woman to stop kissing me?!" I hope!! Thanks meerkat!!!!
Phateless Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I'll correct you when I am corrected first. And you would presume so.. but experience and lots of people have proven that women don't always know what they want.. much less how to tell us. Unfortunately, this is so very true. I've had much better advice on women from men who get lots of women than from women who get approached a lot.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 I just wish we were going out tonight so I don't build this up in my head. you cant put the ussy on a pedestal. I have another 2nd date tonight with someone else, but can't get the 'i need to kiss her' girl off my mind. oh well, sucks for this one I guess.
Phateless Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I just wish we were going out tonight so I don't build this up in my head. you cant put the ussy on a pedestal. I have another 2nd date tonight with someone else, but can't get the 'i need to kiss her' girl off my mind. oh well, sucks for this one I guess. So practice with this one. Remember what I said, only 3 green lights and you're good to go. I'm telling you, when I learned that it blew my mind. I didn't get shot down once.
bac Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 It is not so important about a kiss. It is 50/50, that if she is not ready to kiss, she is not into you. Just do kiss it in the right place and at the right time. Some people do not like public display of affection. The right place is a private place where you are preferably alone. The right time when she is ready and prepaired emotionally.
Yukikazi Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 The right place is a private place where you are preferably alone. The right time when she is ready and prepaired emotionally. Horse spit... Since when do guys ever know the womans emotions.. and you think this boy whom hasn't even kissed her yet will be able to accuratly judge her emotions in a heartbeat when the time is at hand? lol Its easy dude.. when you meet her next.. give her a hug and a peck on the cheek.. as close to the lips as possible maybe even a small bit on the corners. This will put her in the frame that "Hey he wants to kiss me"
aerogurl87 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 OP I've been reading through this thread and I think you need to listen to Yukikazi. When my current boyfriend kissed me it was more memorable because he didn't ask, he just went for it and I LOVE a man who knows how to take charge. He let the sexual tension build up some first with a playful game of footsie on the couch and rubbing my arm and hand a bit. Then out of the blue he just leaned over and kissed me and I couldn't have been any happier with how it happened. With that said, don't sit there and have that awkward moment and ask dumbly "is it ok if I kiss you." You're not twelve! You're a grown man, so start acting like it!
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 so, I went in and got the kiss last night, but with the other girl. I almost used her as practice, as bad as that sounds. It was well played and left her wanting a lot more. She texted me like 3 times after left begging to go out again right after xmas. Pretty funny. The REAL one will be this weekend and I'll be sure to keep you all in the loop. Thanks again for everyone's advice here. Its actually a little embarrassing to have to ask for advice on this, but it is what it is....live and learn.
Phateless Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 so, I went in and got the kiss last night, but with the other girl. I almost used her as practice, as bad as that sounds. It was well played and left her wanting a lot more. She texted me like 3 times after left begging to go out again right after xmas. Pretty funny. The REAL one will be this weekend and I'll be sure to keep you all in the loop. Thanks again for everyone's advice here. Its actually a little embarrassing to have to ask for advice on this, but it is what it is....live and learn. Good job! See that wasn't so hard now was it?
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Good job! See that wasn't so hard now was it? :onooooo:o Now I have to do it with the REAL one, but after last night, they are pretty much neck and neck in the running for the SteveJohnson, or I guess you could say Steve's Johnson. Both are out of town for xmas. The one I havent kissed, comes back this weekend, the other, comes back next Tuesday. Nothing like xmas to be a dating momentum killer!!
Phateless Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 :onooooo:o Now I have to do it with the REAL one, but after last night, they are pretty much neck and neck in the running for the SteveJohnson, or I guess you could say Steve's Johnson. Both are out of town for xmas. The one I havent kissed, comes back this weekend, the other, comes back next Tuesday. Nothing like xmas to be a dating momentum killer!! lol. You don't have to choose until you have to choose. Dating should be considered open until you specifically have the exclusivity talk with one of them. In fact, you can have that talk and agree to be friends with benefits with both of them. My point? Date them both and don't feel guilty about it. When YOU decide you want to be with only one of them, break things off with the other and have the exclusivity talk with the one you like. Until you talk and decide to be exclusive, it's open season.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 lol. You don't have to choose until you have to choose. Dating should be considered open until you specifically have the exclusivity talk with one of them. In fact, you can have that talk and agree to be friends with benefits with both of them. My point? Date them both and don't feel guilty about it. When YOU decide you want to be with only one of them, break things off with the other and have the exclusivity talk with the one you like. Until you talk and decide to be exclusive, it's open season. i'm keeping an open mind. the one I havent kissed is such a challenge to me, I think thats why I dig her so much more - and she's wittier. The one I have kissed, she's very typical to someone I would normally date, thus I know I could 'have her', if that makes any sense. Why do we ALWAYS go after the hard to get ones? So odd.
Phateless Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 i'm keeping an open mind. the one I havent kissed is such a challenge to me, I think thats why I dig her so much more - and she's wittier. The one I have kissed, she's very typical to someone I would normally date, thus I know I could 'have her', if that makes any sense. Why do we ALWAYS go after the hard to get ones? So odd. You are psyching yourself out. You are making yourself intimidated of the one you like because you've put her on something of a pedestal. They're both girls. They're both just people. There's no reason to be more intimidated.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 You are psyching yourself out. You are making yourself intimidated of the one you like because you've put her on something of a pedestal. They're both girls. They're both just people. There's no reason to be more intimidated. oh, i know it! it'll all be taken care of this weekend......
DustySaltus Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 oh, i know it! it'll all be taken care of this weekend...... Here's a little inspiration from a friends of mine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVrpK2uGo8Y you can do it!
Phateless Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 oh, i know it! it'll all be taken care of this weekend...... Atta boy...
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 you guys are great....
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