Hurtnheart Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Hi, just two weeks ago my husband admitted to cheating on me with another woman. We have been married for 9 years now with three beautiful children. i don't think he's ever done anything like this before. he says that it happened 3 times and regrets doing it and wants his family back. He keeps saying that he's sorry and if he could take it back that he would. I decided to stay and work on the marriage. He wants me to trust him now, but it is hard when my heart hurts so badly. He says that he told her that he was married with children and she said she didn't care, He said that is no kind of woman that he wants, and who knows how many other guys she's done this to. it is hard for me to trust him bc i'm hurting and he still wants to go out with the boys and stay out late. I don't want to act paranoid but i am at times. bc that's how all of this started.She was the cousin of a friend. Everytime he leaves, i wonder if he's going to see her or call her. Everytime he goes and leaves his phone, i wonder if he has another phone hiding somewhere. when i'm at work, i wonder if that's where he's going, bc she said that's what he does but he denies it strongly. . He has lied and lied and lied again and again. How do i know he's telling the truth this time and he's not still seeing her. I know she wouldn't care either way. She says she's been knowing him for eight mths. I'm confused about leaving bc the love's still there and we have 3 kids, another part of me wants to leave, bc my heart keeps hurtn. What do i do in this situation. Do i act like i don't care and let him do whatever. Should i just go and try to forget that way. Please help, I'm hurt, scared and confused.
nobmagnet Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 you poor poor thing! Firstly I am so sorry you are here but I am pleased you are here. Welcome Wow what a right royal stinky mess for you! I am utterly gutted for you and your children. IMO i would ask him to seek marriage councilling as soon as possible so you can air your veiws constructively. He has got away with far too much already. Saying sorry is not enough for you to trust him again. He needs to amend his behaviour and put some leg work into your relationship not just drop the bomb and feel cleansed and forgive. Keep posting love we are here xx
dashing daisy Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I'm sorry you are going through this. He says that he told her that he was married with children and she said she didn't care, He said that is no kind of woman that he wants, and who knows how many other guys she's done this to. If he wants to make things right, he needs to take responsibility for what he did. He is the one who cheated on you, not her. He can't just drop this on you, and tell you to "trust" him. Trust is earned, not expected. He broke your trust, if he wants you to trust him again, he has to work to get it back. He has to prove to you that he is someone trustworthy. He has lied and lied and lied again and again. How do i know he's telling the truth this time and he's not still seeing her. You don't. It's not fair of him to drop this on you, apologize, and then want to stay out late with the boys. Jeez. He needs to get his act together. Have you considered marriage counseling?
Recommended Posts