mikeymad Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I can't take it. This week is too hard. It was christmas eve 3 years ago I proposed at my parents house, and that's the only place I can go besides be by myself...I don't want to spend the holidays without her. She said she would *maybe* have time to see me this week if she got all her holiday stuff taken care of. We had another run around conversation on saturday, and i said i would back off (NC) until she called me. I haven't seen her in 3 weeks, but after work i will on auto pilot just drive to our house. I feel like a zombie...except a zombie who cries at the drop of a hat. I do drive by the house almost every day, I don't know why...maybe just to get a glimpse of her. I also have to go there during my lunch to exchange my stuff (not enough room where I'm staying can't afford my own place or storage) and christmas dec's are up, pictures of us are down. It feels like any trace of me is slowly being erased from this house, or maybe i'm paranoid b/c it's the holidays or if she is doing it for her sanity (reminding her of fighting). I asked her to go to a holiday parade on sat as well...she said that she wasn't interested in going on dates at this point, and to please not put that on her. am i crazy for thinking that AT THIS POINT means there is hope?
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