wheream_i Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 My g/f are now on the verge of a permanent break-up. Everything tells me it's for the better because we never could seem to get back on track after all of our troubles. However, we are locked into a lease until April. We are trying to find a way to live as cordially as possible but it's not quite working. She's ready to move on and date while still living with me. I can go out and do other things as well but don't want to live under conditions of jealousy among other hard feelings. Has anybody else been in this situation? I'm sure it's pretty common with couples that live together and don't make it through. How did you handle it? All ideas and stories welcome. Thank you.
trueblue72ny Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 yes, i have seen it before. april isnt too far off, my suggestion, you two agree that while you are under the same roof that neither one of you brings dates back to the place. and then after you go your seperate ways in april it doesnt matter. i think that sounds fair. and should keep the peace.
Author wheream_i Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Yeah, that's understood. No one brings anyone home. But I found a personal ad she posted on CL. And figure if she leaves the house, I know where she might be going - on a date. Ugh, this just sucks. You're right, April isn't that far off, it's just the knowing or at least letting my mind wander. yes, i have seen it before. april isnt too far off, my suggestion, you two agree that while you are under the same roof that neither one of you brings dates back to the place. and then after you go your seperate ways in april it doesnt matter. i think that sounds fair. and should keep the peace.
Zeegagge Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Craigslist? Seriously? anyways... Yes I am currently in the same situation. My ex and I are stuck together for a while as neither of us has anywhere to go. To make matters worse we live in a very small place and even when one of us does move out we will still be running into each other constantly. Uh, as far as how to deal with it, uh, I don't have a lot of advice. Don't let her disrespect you, at all. If she tries to give you even a single iota of **** then puff up your chest and tell her to F off. Maintain your space your stuff and your self respect. Also, create a fake email account and respond to her Craigslist ad, get some pictures of some good looking guy off the inner net and have her set up a time and a place to meet this 'guy'. Then leave her stood up at the Coffee Shop when this guy never shows, and meanwhile you go out and party and have a good time. Be sure to come home drunk. How any of this will help the situation? It won't but it'd be funny!
HeavenOrHell Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Not sure why you're having a go at his ex, what has she actually done wrong? They can do what they like now they are single! April is a hell of a long time to be in that situation, I don't think I could do that, I stood it for 2 weeks and that was enough, not cos we were arguing but just cos it was a weird limbo situation. Ugh. Uh, as far as how to deal with it, uh, I don't have a lot of advice. Don't let her disrespect you, at all. If she tries to give you even a single iota of **** then puff up your chest and tell her to F off. Maintain your space your stuff and your self respect. Also, create a fake email account and respond to her Craigslist ad, get some pictures of some good looking guy off the inner net and have her set up a time and a place to meet this 'guy'. Then leave her stood up at the Coffee Shop when this guy never shows, and meanwhile you go out and party and have a good time. Be sure to come home drunk. How any of this will help the situation? It won't but it'd be funny!
Zeegagge Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Not sure why you're having a go at his ex, what has she actually done wrong? They can do what they like now they are single! I tell him to not put up with her crap so he can maintain his dignity. I'm in the situation myself and I know how it is (for me at least). My ex asks me to do things for her that I would only do for a girlfriend. She also likes to give me crap like Im still her boyfriend. Fact is, without the good I damn sure ain't putting up with the bad. Someone else can carry her inside when she's drunk. She can get her own damn glass of water. She can cry on someone else's shoulder. As far as the bit about leaving her stood up with a fake date, eh, that's strictly for my own amusement. Just hoping he'd do it and report back to us so I could get a laugh. Don't take me too seriously ;-)
Ronni_W Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 But I found a personal ad she posted on CL. And figure if she leaves the house, I know where she might be going - on a date. Ugh, this just sucks. You're right, April isn't that far off, it's just the knowing or at least letting my mind wander. Another way to try to get it to work for you (until April) is to consider whether your mind would still be inclined to wander in that direction, even if you were no longer living together? If so, then it's not so much about the current, temporary living arrangement as the fact that you're letting your mind wander to places that inevitably will leave you feeling crappier. If that makes sense? Not that it doesn't suck -- it does. Just that. If you're stuck there anyway, don't let your mind make it any worse for you than it is going to be. Or, just break the lease and pay whatever is the cost of making a clean getaway as quickly as possible. That is, one way or the other, take back control of the situation -- it's gonna need YOUR mind or YOUR money -- you're not as powerless and/or helpless as it might be feeling Hugs, and good luck.
Author wheream_i Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I tell him to not put up with her crap so he can maintain his dignity. No see, I'm the cheater. I don't have any dignity.
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