"One of the guys."

[thatguy85]

I don't know... I see all these people trying to tell you to be more feminine, learn to flirt better, learn your role, not be bitter, etc. I honestly understand where it's coming from and I think they have good intentions... (drumroll)... But, judging by the few posts you've made here you seem like an awesome girl to me and even though I've jokingly told you to message me earlier in this thread, you do seem like a girl I'd definitely go on a date with and see where it goes from there.

 

Even though you won't be universally attractive to men, there is a niche of guys who would love to date you... I believe that whole heartidly. I mean look at some of the comparisons you've drawn... Janeane Garofolo, Darlene, etc. (I was thinking Daria, who was played by Garofolo). Cynical, Dark Humored, Sarcastic.... all things that are huge turn-ons for me. Someone who can hang and be "One of the guys"... I love it. I've also always loved the female lead singer of a rock band - Hayley Williams, Gwen Stefani, and Brody Dalle from Spinnerette... You will probably get more play if you change who you are, but it doesn't sound like you want to do that. You want to continue being who are are and find a guy who will love you and appreciate who you are, and you are tired of waiting (which is why you came here to begin with).

 

I don't know... I know I'm in the minority here.

Edited December 22, 2009 by thatguy85

[Buckeye Candy]

I don't know... I see all these people trying to tell you to be more feminine, learn to flirt better, learn your role, not be bitter, etc. I honestly understand where it's coming from and I think they have good intentions... (drumroll)... But, judging by the few posts you've made here you seem like an awesome girl to me and even though I've jokingly told you to message me earlier in this thread, you do seem like a girl I'd definitely go on a date with and see where it goes from there.

 

Even though you won't be universally attractive to men, there is a niche of guys who would love to date you... I believe that whole heartidly. I mean look at some of the comparisons you've drawn... Janeane Garofolo, Darlene, etc. (I was thinking Daria, who was played by Garofolo). Cynical, Dark Humored, Sarcastic.... all things that are huge turn-ons for me. Someone who can hang and be "One of the guys"... I love it. I've also always loved the female lead singer of a rock band - Hayley Williams, Gwen Stefani, and Brody Dalle from Spinnerette... You will probably get more play if you change who you are, but it doesn't sound like you want to do that. You want to continue being who are are and find a guy who will love you and appreciate who you are, and you are tired of waiting (which is why you came here to begin with).

 

I don't know... I know I'm in the minority here.

 

I didn't say she should change her personality only to try and acquire some female friends with similar interests. Undoubtedly, there is a man for her out there. She said she had two good relationships in the past so she knows this is true. My only point was she may have to wait on it since men aren't throwing themselves at her.

 

She also knows she is not universally appealing to men, although for some reason she seems to think she is entitled to that adoration just because she has a vagina.

 

Actually, her personality is very female-like in many respects. Lol.

[Strych9]

Then that red flag is your problem, and your misinterpretation of females with mostly male friends. I will give it a try, hanging out with my female friends some more, and see if there's even a difference, worth a shot. Sociology brings up a good point about this, we supposedly socially mimic each other to a degree, perhaps if I changed my environment my feminine traits would balance out. In truth I have more "social interracting" with the females on television, than I do in real life. Before it is mentioned, anyone with half a brain can distinguish women on television with women in real life, much different. But I'm bitter about women in real life portraying women on television, not exclusively "bimbos who wear prada" or girly girls, it just seems to influence a large population of women in a negative way. Is it wrong to observe these things?

[Strych9]

I don't want a million men, I just want one.

 

- Bruce Willis

-turned gay

[Buckeye Candy]

Then that red flag is your problem, and your misinterpretation of females with mostly male friends. I will give it a try, hanging out with my female friends some more, and see if there's even a difference, worth a shot. Sociology brings up a good point about this, we supposedly socially mimic each other to a degree, perhaps if I changed my environment my feminine traits would balance out. In truth I have more "social interracting" with the females on television, than I do in real life. Before it is mentioned, anyone with half a brain can distinguish women on television with women in real life, much different. But I'm bitter about women in real life portraying women on television, not exclusively "bimbos who wear prada" or girly girls, it just seems to influence a large population of women in a negative way. Is it wrong to observe these things?

 

 

Not just my problem. Lots of men feels this way. Which in turn, becomes your problem. Aren't you the one whining here about men not liking you?

 

Yes, you are very woman indeed. I recognize that emotionally written tirade anywhere. Reminds me of an ex-girlfriend's angry and accusatory emails regarding my love for Baywatch.

 

Anyway, you know there is a man out there for you. Loveshack readers now know everything about you and your awesomeness. Satisfied?

Edited December 22, 2009 by Buckeye Candy

[Strych9]

It's not my problem that many men feel that way, it's their own. The question was never "why don't guys like me?" it was "why do men see me as less of a woman?" I wasn't aware it was a crime to feel accomplished with something, the men I meet aren't aware of this because it's not the first thing I talk or brag about. Actually, I'm a shy and modest person, but say what you will. It's around the same time they realize that I do things they go running, so it must have some sort of correlation.

 

As far as satisfaction goes, many comments have raised great points that have kept me soul searching, I appreciate the insight very much.

[Buckeye Candy]

It's not my problem that many men feel that way, it's their own. The question was never "why don't guys like me?" it was "why do men see me as less of a woman?" I wasn't aware it was a crime to feel accomplished with something, the men I meet aren't aware of this because it's not the first thing I talk or brag about. Actually, I'm a shy and modest person, but say what you will. It's around the same time they realize that I do things they go running, so it must have some sort of correlation.

 

As far as satisfaction goes, many comments have raised great points that have kept me soul searching, I appreciate the insight very much.

 

 

Have men actually said they see you as less of a woman or is that your assumption? Honestly, your activities and lifestyle are very unisex to me and I don't see you as less of a woman for them. As I pointed out, you have many classic female personality traits.

 

Maybe there is another reason they run? Could it quite possibly be, gasp, your personality? Sarcasm, bitterness, feelings of superiority and blind contempt for other human beings are ugly things to be around. I'd run once I found that out.

[Strych9]

I get the "you're not my type" a lot, or "we should be friends". I agree they are unisex, but it is widely considered "male activities", as stated earlier. Yes I do have many classic female personality traits, thank you, I noticed.

 

If it were my personality that was so revolting to men, being so bitter with a superiority complex and all, why would most seem to like me until they find out about the garage? You seem to know myself better than I even do, have all of the answers. Please, go on.

[Buckeye Candy]

I get the "you're not my type" a lot, or "we should be friends". I agree they are unisex, but it is widely considered "male activities", as stated earlier. Yes I do have many classic female personality traits, thank you, I noticed.

 

If it were my personality that was so revolting to men, being so bitter with a superiority complex and all, why would most seem to like me until they find out about the garage? You seem to know myself better than I even do, have all of the answers. Please, go on.

 

 

Really though, it can't be the hobbies causing this reaction from men over and over again. Men appreciate a woman with hobbies, any hobby, just because they know it will keep the woman from smothering him to death.

 

Maybe it is easier for you to use your garage as the excuse?

[Yukikazi]

I get the "you're not my type" a lot, or "we should be friends". I agree they are unisex, but it is widely considered "male activities", as stated earlier. Yes I do have many classic female personality traits, thank you, I noticed.

 

If it were my personality that was so revolting to men, being so bitter with a superiority complex and all, why would most seem to like me until they find out about the garage? You seem to know myself better than I even do, have all of the answers. Please, go on.

 

Out of curiosity.. how would you rate your flirting skills?

How do you personally flirt with a guy you find attractive?

[Buckeye Candy]

Also, I'm giving you such a hard time because you are convinced the problem must be with men and not with yourself.

[ordinary_girl]

It's not my problem that many men feel that way, it's their own. The question was never "why don't guys like me?" it was "why do men see me as less of a woman?" I wasn't aware it was a crime to feel accomplished with something, the men I meet aren't aware of this because it's not the first thing I talk or brag about. Actually, I'm a shy and modest person, but say what you will. It's around the same time they realize that I do things they go running, so it must have some sort of correlation.

 

As far as satisfaction goes, many comments have raised great points that have kept me soul searching, I appreciate the insight very much.

 

I´d like to look at this from a very different angle because I have read most posts on this thread and a lot of them make zero sense to me.

 

how open are you with the men you are dating? would you say you let them get to know you, to be comfortable with you, to see you vulnerable?

 

speaking from experience I find that because I click with men easily (I have a lot of male friends also although I have some close female ones too) and I display the fact that I find them easy to understand, even when I'm dating someone casually, he will pay close attention to what I am saying or doing because he can't just write me off as some annoying chick that doesn't get him.

 

you have to be friendly, try to be as nice as possible and show your soft side. it's not that they don't see you as a woman I don't think, but see you as someone that figures them out easily.

 

if you don't show that you are interested and like them, they are likely to be more unnerved by that than if you were some annoying airhead

[Strych9]

There's something that isn't making sense, and boy I know it. Which is why I'm coming to smart people like yourselves to see it through other eyes, in doing so, have seen many different angles and perspectives I'm attempting to put to good use. It's a problem or some issue that seems more deep rooted than I previously thought, originally this was for dating advice.

 

Back in relationships things seemed very open, but as everyone grows they can become more honest with themselves, in turn be able to tell more truth. Vulnerability? Sure, there were times when I showed some thick skin, but that fades when there is a real connection present. We all have our defence mechanisms, in a way.

 

As for lavishing a good man with attention, there's nothing present that tells me I shouldn't, I enjoy it. Sometimes it blew up in my face, too much, too little, that game of flattery tug of war, you know the one. That was a joke, wasn't being bitter.

 

Being a bit nicer could certainly help, the next date I go on (if ever) I will try these cheesy dating tactics (sweep my hair around, touch his arm) but only if he actually IS interesting. In all seriousness, I will heed your words.

[Knossos]

it's not that they don't see you as a woman I don't think, but see you as someone that figures them out easily.

 

And that's bad?

[FilthMerchant]

Women can't figure men out anymore than the over way around. Don't kid yourselves Knossos and ordinary_girl. If you could figure men out you wouldn't be here asking for advice

[Knossos]

Women can't figure men out anymore than the over way around. Don't kid yourselves Knossos and ordinary_girl. If you could figure men out you wouldn't be here asking for advice

 

Point, missed, completely, on both counts.

[FilthMerchant]

Point, missed, completely, on both counts.

 

I'm still waiting for what I asked of you a couple of pages back. I can't help but think you are just another rejectee looking for ego-stroking rather than real help.

[Woggle]

It actually sounds like you are living in the wrong decade. Back in the 90s you would have fit in perfectly and been considered a catch but today many men want the materialistic model type. I have found that women such as yourself actually tend to be the most loyal when the chips are down so in time you will find a man who appreciates while the rest get cheated on left and right by the women they passed you over for.

[Strych9]

My mistake if I didn't answer correctly, it seems like kicking a dead horse. I've tried to reveal some insight along with what people have been asking or telling and reflecting on them. Maybe I'm just a repulsive human being lol It's certainly been pointed out more than once. Anything is a possibility at this point, there's some problem because of how I'm wired, and how men most of the time respond to that. My appologies if it seemed I was putting the blame on men, cunty women and anybody but myself, but anyone will get bitter in a sea of suave boys on the prowl and women with mostly **** for brains, it's my responsibility I see the world this way, not theirs. On the other hand, I do not appologise for what I am, especially all of those things that are so unattractive about myself.

 

And you're wrong, everything has helped so far.

 

Also, why the 90's? There would be a lot of denim suits and kentucky waterfalls, who wouldn't give their right arm to be in the 90's again?

[ordinary_girl]

And that's bad?

 

for some people yes. there is a lot of pressure to put up a front, especially for men

[ordinary_girl]

Women can't figure men out anymore than the over way around. Don't kid yourselves Knossos and ordinary_girl. If you could figure men out you wouldn't be here asking for advice

 

I'm not here asking for advice. Especially not from complete strangers - many of whom I would never talk to for more than two seconds in real life.

[Yukikazi]

My mistake if I didn't answer correctly, it seems like kicking a dead horse. I've tried to reveal some insight along with what people have been asking or telling and reflecting on them. Maybe I'm just a repulsive human being lol It's certainly been pointed out more than once. Anything is a possibility at this point, there's some problem because of how I'm wired, and how men most of the time respond to that. My appologies if it seemed I was putting the blame on men, cunty women and anybody but myself, but anyone will get bitter in a sea of suave boys on the prowl and women with mostly **** for brains, it's my responsibility I see the world this way, not theirs. On the other hand, I do not appologise for what I am, especially all of those things that are so unattractive about myself.

 

And you're wrong, everything has helped so far.

 

Also, why the 90's? There would be a lot of denim suits and kentucky waterfalls, who wouldn't give their right arm to be in the 90's again?

 

Your pictures would indicate more of a punk/metal/hardcore leaning.

Are these the types of guys you are interested in or are you aiming for hipster/preppy types with hushpuppies and trust funds?

 

Dunno about the guys you are shooting for you but seem to be a cute girl with an interesting sense of humor.. tad cheeky and sarcastic.. I like it.. Now you just gotta find a version of me locally to yourself

Edited December 23, 2009 by Yukikazi

[Strych9]

All of that stuff doesn't matter to me honestly, people find attractive traits in unlikely places. But yes I do suck terribly at flirting, as you've asked before...it took my ex a month and a half to make a move on me, but after warming up to him I made up for lost time by treating him like a delicious piece of meat I relentlessly hit on every day afterwards. lol