j.e.s.s Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 My boyfrined of 2 years is a security guard at a popular night club. About 2 months ago i was having a snoop around the computer and came across that he had been searching a few girls profiles, these weren't random girls, he had written their first and last name into search.. i put it to the back of my mind and didn't question him about it. Fast track till last night and i had a snoop again.. once again the same girls he had been searching 2 months previous were there, so i confronted him about it, he spun a big web of a lie and said one of them he wen't to primary school with.. i said 'no you didn't because her schooling information says other wise!' he then got all defensive, i had a further look at one of the other girls and strangley enough i knew her from when i was in school, she was 2 years above me, i said so how do you know Kate* he was stunned that i knew who it was and said it was the girl from last weekend that he kicked out and that said to him "i'll do what ever u wan't if you let me stay" while rubbing her self against him ( he only told me this the next day because my friend was out and she had seen and heard the whole thing ) I said well you told me she wasn't from where we live because you had never seen her before, he then realised he just got caught out. i said so why have you been looking her up he said coz one of the guys he knows, knows her and she apparently sleeps around so he was just curious to look her up... ( weird excuse right? ) there are so many more excuses i can tell you but they make no sense what so ever.. so, what do u make of this? am i just over reacting? i just find it weird that he had to lie about it and why he had to seach them in the first place and check out all there photos, by the way all the girls he had searced are all friends..
delnoire Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I wouldn't stress out over it. Are the girls attractive? Consider having a threesome by inviting one or two of the girls into you and your bf's bed. It'd keep your bf happy, and since you would know exactly who your bf was sleeping with you wouldn't have to feel insecure anymore and you wouldn't have to snoop around anymore either.
Author j.e.s.s Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 that was so pointless... thanks for the laugh.
delnoire Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 that was so pointless... thanks for the laugh. I'm glad I could make you laugh, but I didn't mean to be pointless. It kind of sounds like your bf wants an open relationship. If he's working at a trendy club with tons of hot women going in and out all night, of course he's going to check out the goods and probably make a few acquaintences. I don't know if your relationship has the reached the 'serious' point or not, but if it has, then you might as well accept that your bf is probably a flirt and has a wandering eye. So you have two choices, accept it and make the most of it, which would be an open relationship and possibly threesomes. An open relationship is still a real relationship. The second option would be to move on. If your bf's tendency to flirt and contact girls he meets in everyday life bothers you now, its going to bother you five years from now. Its going to bother you after you get married, its going to bother you ten years after you get married. You can't change him anymore than he can change you. This problem is just going to fester until it makes both of your lives miserable. So if you haven't been dating him long, and this really bothers you, I would suggest considering jumping ship now before you emotionally invest yourself anymore than you already have in your current relationship.
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