I'm in a pickle of a mess with my ex and the new girl

[whisperingsparrow]

So a week before Danny leaves for summer camp for those wonderful two weeks everything is grand he's grabbing me calling me goddess and being a all around sweaty. He even records little voice messages for me for when I miss him. During week one he managed to snag a laptop and write me an email.

 

Mom leaves for PEI and I take care of the boys and my father who ended up going on a bender, so for four days I did everything and my stress level was very high.

 

He comes home and everything is grand I go to his house he tells me how much he missed me all his fun adventures and I'm so very happy and the sex is amazing.

 

I go home Sunday and I find out Mom and the boys are moving (without dad but mom still loves him) to PEI at the end of the month.

 

So I go to his house again and I'm told since they are going away (his parents that I can stay over Thursday, go home Friday night and come back Saturday and he plans to spend Sunday with some friends so I'm okay with that.

 

Saturday his parents come home early and I can stay overnight but he makes a big deal about going to his friends and I get mad at him.

 

I try to explain (poorly) that I need some normalcy since next week my world changes so we fight he's like I never get to see my friends I'm like you spent 2 weeks being surrounded by friends and people who thought you awesome. So I tell him you can have all the time you want with your friends because I'm not speaking to you for 2 weeks. In reality I just want him to say he needs me and to fight for me because he loves me he says I can't change your mind.

 

I realize I was being an idiot so next time he's online I say sorry and encourage him to spend more time with his friends. He says he wants to see me Tuesday and I go to meet him on Tuesday and it's like I'm surrounded in a wall of ice he feels so cold. So he takes me to a bench and we talk and he tells me he feels like he's making me sad and that he never really dated and that he wants a break.

 

I'm sobbing so hard when he says this but I agree because I want him to be happy, he keeps trying to hold me and makes sure I don't claw up my arms like I do sometimes when upset. He takes off his wolf and gives it to me and I give him mine and we part ways.

 

We talk again a few days later he says his life is great he spends more time with Amanda (a girl that stole from me) and everything is great then he leaves to go to her house at 1:20 am (he neglected to mention she was 5 minutes away not an hour). So later on I give him permission to date because I think it would do it good, next day he's in a relationship with Brittany Noonan and so I try to call him at 6pm at 7pm at 9, 10 12 and I get him at 1:30.

 

He didn't call and tell his parents where he was which he always does. So with an even but shaky voice I talk to him I tell him I'm sorry for treating him badly and I want to work to save us ( Brittany was just a crazy bitch there was no relationship) he says several things " I don't know how long we can last" " I don't know if we can fix things" he says the past few days were crazy and he wouldn't trade them for the world and that he needed to see more of the world and he broke up with me. I told him I wouldn't be friends with him and he sounded shocked and I told him it isn't fair that he gets what he wants and I don't.

 

We talk on msn twice after that in the first conversation he tries to bully me into being friends and in both he tries to make me jealous. So he comes over Friday to see my brothers and I don't stay in the same room as him I give him a handshake as our finale parting he laughs and walks away.

 

His msn nics are strange

 

At the end of the day all that matters is our love and the price of gas.

My love for you is like the ocean blue and sometime green.

Love is three letters long and over 5 feet tall.

Love is like a whale only it can save my world.

 

I call talk to him he claims they're all Star Trek jokes. I ask him if he still has feelings for me he says not really and if he'd ever want to get back together he says no. I ask him the reason we broke up he said he was sick of the fighting and the crying. I call bull**** because I had gotten way better and we didn't fight all the time and in the beginning I was ALOT worse. I'm surprised at his lack of tact and upset.

 

So I don't talk to him for a very long period of time then something bad happens my rat Alice ate my rat Bella so I call him to come help because I can't touch Bella. He comes over he sees me crying and doesn't hesitate to give me the hug I ask for and he helps me bury her. We talk and we decide to try the friends thing he tells me not to if its going to hurt me but I don't want us to be strangers so I agree he gives me another hug ( both where tight squeezes) and leaves.

 

 

We start talking on msn we fight mostly because of his new life. He lives at Amanda's house ( different one) doesn't sleep goes home only when laundry needs doing, gets pissed off more and then there's his plan.

 

He's "going" to be hired at Mcdonalds which is 400 per month rent an apartment with Amanda 250 keep the sunfire (a car) 100 gas which leaves him a whooping 50 extra a month for everything else and he thinks he's going to college with that. He says since he is now poor he can live on less oh and he has a second job once he turns 19 ( in April) as a bartender which is 400 a night and if he kills himself 1000 a month but he doesn't want to because he wants to have fun. I don't think he understands how hard it is working one job nevermind 2. He says because Faz and Lucas are poor and since he can't help them up he'll get down with them destroying his future and wasting talent.

 

He tells me (not even 2 months after the break up) that he's dating a new girl and I'm happy for him because I want him to be happy even if its not with me.

 

Our last conversation I ask him how much he spent on me during the relationship he said 100 ish I tell him I plan to pay every cent back he says no. I tell him a quote " If you don't love me now you never did" therefore you wasted money on a friend. In reality I just want him to say I meant something and he did love me. I finally out right ask him is he did and he replied and I quote " Yes I did but its over and done you have to move on". This is a little after me snapping and telling him I still loved him and how hurt I was. So I ask him why do you want to be friends. He says I don't want to be if you're going to get hurt. I ask again he replies because it seems the ideal thing to do. I ask him what does he mean he says everybody is friends and happy.

 

I tell him I can't be friends its too soon and not fair to me so we're not friends. And I just found out from the girl he said he was dating that they aren't and he lied to me.

 

I started NC and in that time I found out he didn't lie to me, he was rejected by her because they were never dating it was just a mixed message conversation. Almost 3 months into NC he leaves a message on one of my poems which he's never done even when dating so I take it as a sign to start talking again. He asks a lot about me, and I see him two days later. I tell him I have a date and he says "Okay" but really quickly. I find out why he was spending so much time with the first Amanda was because he was taking her to doctors appointments she's pregnant (not his) and the day goes along as it would had we never broken up with the exception his arm is not around me and I'm not telling him I love him. I tell him I'm going into therapy(which I am for me) and he seems happy.

 

He has this friend Becca and he skirts around the subject of her whenever mentioned, she's the girl that had a crush on him at ross creek(the camp) so I add her, and she's exactly like me, she loves writing, dancing and we have so many similarities but according to my friends she doesn't have my spunk. I like her, then we get to talking I ask her about Danny and her she says "He loves me and I love him" but they aren't dating; she's 14 he's 18 and she lives 6 hours away and its an msn relationship.

 

Me and her talk and I find out he didn't tell her at camp that he had a girlfriend like he told me he did(they met last day) and she didn't know I existed till he asked her if it was ok if I added her and he told her I was his Ex. So we talk I'm shocked to find she knows nothing about me, nothing about the girl he briefly tried to date, he has her number but never calls and he's always like "I have to wait till- - happens to see you" he never tries to find a reason to see her. And we talked and we came to the conclusion she might be rebound. I looked at some of his facebook notes and he says things like is there someone you regret letting go "yes but not anymore" reason your not with your last gf/bf "I had to stop loving them". And there's the timing he said he loved her 2-4 weeks after the girl rejected him and I stopped talking to him but did not outright say they were dating. And why be my friend if you've found your new love, shouldn't you be spending time with them. Oh he helped her out of depression and I feel like its infatuation on her side because of that and because they knew each other for 2 days. I feel like he's using her to have the comfort of being in a relationship and not having to do any work/see her since its long distance. I think he's my friend because he wants to see if I've changed and doesn't want to risk going to me if there's going to be the same old fights; oh and so he can get the hugs from me that he can't get from her.

 

Becca and I have agreed we'll be happy for the other person(she likes me) I'm still going to try get him back though. She's going to ask him straight out if the reason he won't commit to dating her is because he still has feelings for her. If he says No I'm going to vanish for a few weeks just to make sure he's not trying to have his cake and eat it to, he says yes then I'm not to sure.

 

So who agree's with me that this is rebound and advice please and thank you