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Posted

If she insists on moving back in and nothing you do dissuades her, make sure you don't help her move in.

 

If you want to be a real jerk, tell her you'll help her, then no show...

Posted

label everything. Go get a block of sticky pads. label everything "f*ck off its mine get your own"

 

If you are house proud then thats cool just take satisfaction when you have a poo and its smells really bad and she has to use the bathroom after you.........nice.

 

Sofa is yours, telly is yours, kettle is yours, fridge....yours. make sure there are no sheets available for spare bed...........hey what spare bed??????? Floor is comfy innit??

 

soz but im having too much fun on your behalf xxx

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Posted
label everything. Go get a block of sticky pads. label everything "f*ck off its mine get your own"

 

If you are house proud then thats cool just take satisfaction when you have a poo and its smells really bad and she has to use the bathroom after you.........nice.

 

Sofa is yours, telly is yours, kettle is yours, fridge....yours. make sure there are no sheets available for spare bed...........hey what spare bed??????? Floor is comfy innit??

 

soz but im having too much fun on your behalf xxx

 

That's ok...I could't F'ing believe it when she told me she wanted to move back in. I laugh about it too even though I'm a little worried and scared. I'll do some things to make it trouble on her...I won't be a complete ass. I'm the better person in this whole thing and I'm not going to stoop down to her level.

Posted (edited)

I can't speak for everyone in this thread but I'm just jacking around with the things you can do.

 

Whatever you do, make sure you can live with yourself for doing it. Just don't get taken advantage of, which includes not supporting her monetarily.

 

Edit - damn, it suddenly occurred to me. If she moves back in, will she be qualified for alimony, since she's not employed? Talk to your lawyer, ASAP, about what you can do to prevent this.

Edited by threebyfate
Posted

im too nice to these things too (apart from the smug satisfaction of a smell poo that is!)

 

It is fun to plot though!!!

 

Like threeby fate said.........live with yourself but dont be taken for a fool.

 

I dont envy you one bit. If my ex (lowlyworm) decided to come back I couldnt stop him either. I have our house on the market though but in this financial climate a huge house with 4 acres isnt going to sell very quickly.

 

brussel sprouts will create lots of gas my freind. tempting??

 

hugs neetx

Posted

I'll add with Wog's idea, walking around in your underwear, also do some farting. Fart and then laugh.

 

Leave the toilet seat up. Act very UNinterested in her when she is around, do you own thing. Bring the TV into YOUR room.. Cook for yourself only and if she plans on being a 'roommate' then she can buy her own groceries too. Label everything you buy with your name on it.

Posted

how about some good rancid cheese,or other terrible smell in the duct work in her bedroom?:p

Posted

empty her shampoo bottle when she is out. ( my blummin daughter knicks mine) and giggle to urself when she has sodden wet hair stomping around looking for some.

Posted

Gunny gave a wonderful suggestion to clear out unpleasant folk: Buy a Bull mastiff that only listens to you.

 

Make sure that she sees the chewed remains of a salesman when she comes in.

 

Another option is to put a sign outside of the house -beware of the dangerous snakes. Tell her that you have recovered and returned all the snakes, except two, which you cant find right now....

 

Also, invite a couple of beggars to stay overnight for a few days.

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