ThreeLittleBirds Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I’m not in an LDR yet, but I met someone online who I could potentially end up in one with. We met on another forum and have been talking daily for about a month. We clicked very quickly online but agreed we should meet ASAP to see what potential there is for something real. Until then I'm not sure what we are exactly. She lives in the UK and I’m in the states. We discussed the long term potential of something like this very early and she is open to moving to the states for the right person. In fact, her best friend moved here to marry an American so this is not all that new to her. What is worrying me though is I’m only about 3 months out from a bad breakup from a very long relationship. She knows this but I haven’t expressed how hard it still is on me. I’m over my ex but I have a lot of trust and neglect issues to deal with. These don’t seem like good things to mix with an LDR at all. I’m really afraid that I’ll sabotage this before we even have a chance to meet in person which could be as much as a few months from now. It’s sad, but I find myself already wanting to distance myself from her because I feel way too much disappointment if she is unable to talk much on a given day. I don’t express these feelings because I feel it is unfair to her and only because of my own personal issues from my last relationship. I guess I feel like I’m not emotionally ready for something this challenging, but at the same time it seems ridiculous to give up on someone so nice who likes me too just because my last relationship left me with these problems to sort out. It’s a case of bad timing. Has anyone been through something like this and maybe offer some advice? I guess I would have the same problems if I met someone like her locally too.
Maggs Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I've never been through this but I think you answered you own question when you said... "I guess I feel like I’m not emotionally ready for something this challenging, but at the same time it seems ridiculous to give up on someone so nice who likes me too just because my last relationship left me with these problems to sort out." There's no reason why you can't continue talking for another 6 months and just see what happens after that. Maybe commit to visiting together as friends in that time. And maybe you'll have sorted some of your own issues out. It doesn't sound like you're ready to rush into anything, so listen to your own heart.
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