Scarlett513 Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Depends on the woman, I'm sure. For me, I want support, companionship, loyalty, friendship, trust, and respect. If you're asking this because a woman has told you that you're not meeting her emotional needs, the best thing you can do is to ask her what she means by that, specifically.
TaraMaiden Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Exactly the same as a man's except with a lot less testosterone. Everyone has the impression that the emotional needs of the sexes are different - as implied by the question. But aside from the methods of communication and arguably, the responses to situations, emotionally, both the sexes require the same things: To be understood, appreciated, validated and loved. It's really not that difficult to believe when you read the threads. If you're not aware of the gender of the OP, it's sometimes impossible to know which gender is posting. I would surmise many of us have fallen into the trap of believing we're answering the OP of one sex, only to discover a few posts in, that in fact, it's the other one.....
Author bac Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 I do not mind if men can answer the question if they know the emotional needs of females.
threebyfate Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 bac, you're forever searching for universal answers, when the answers are individualized. What are YOUR needs as a woman, bac?
threebyfate Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 No, she's asking about the universal needs of women, unless I'm misunderstanding her. So, to answer the original question, I have no idea what the universal needs for women are, solely what I, as an individual woman, need. Guaranteed, some, if not all my needs would differ from bac's or anyone else's, within this thread.
Jaytb Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 To love and to be loved. Didn't you know Moulin Rouge has all the answers to life?
carhill Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I loved the costuming in Moulin Rouge. Feelings nostalgia and contentment washed over me. How did you feel? I think this is what women are looking for emotionally, the erstwhile dashing poet falling for the courtesan coveted by the jealous duke.
Author bac Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 bac, you're forever searching for universal answers, when the answers are individualized. What are YOUR needs as a woman, bac? I have unrealistic emotional needs that is why I would like to know what are normal/real emotional needs of a woman. I have a need for being loved unconditionally, being desirable for sex, being beautiful, a need for advice and help if a situation asks for, being exclusive, a need to know what is on his mind, a need to trust him and rely on him.
DollyMix Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I don't think your needs are too much, in the right relationship for your you'll just feel that your needs are met if your defining them too much it'll cause you problems
Jaytb Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 How did you feel? Asleep. I had to watch it again. Let's just say I felt less tired the second time I watched it.
shadowplay Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) I know what I respond to. This seems like a long list, but most of the traits overlap. I have a feeling a lot of these needs are fairly universal for women. 1) Someone who deeply appreciates me for the things that make me a unique person 2) Someone who is able to give as well as receive. Not that I would want to over-rely on them for support, but I'd want to at least KNOW that they'd be totally and completely there for me if I ever needed them. I'm not talking about a pushover, but someone who is able to give in a healthy way. 3) Someone who is fiercely protective and loyal. 4) Someone who is interested in me as a person (asks questions, tries to understand me) and makes an effort to stay in touch with what's going on inside me. They remember things I've said about myself, and stay at least somewhat attuned to where I'm at when we're together. 5) Someone who doesn't do the push-pull, who is direct with their emotions and isn't turned off by me being emotionally direct in return. 6) Someone who's ALL in when they commit to somebody. 7) someone who is all of the above but solid enough not to be overly clingy or dependent. 8) Someone who can trust and be trusted Edited December 21, 2009 by shadowplay
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I have unrealistic emotional needs that is why I would like to know what are normal/real emotional needs of a woman. I have a need for being loved unconditionally, being desirable for sex, being beautiful, a need for advice and help if a situation asks for, being exclusive, a need to know what is on his mind, a need to trust him and rely on him. Awww, bac - those aren't unrealistic! In a good relationship with a GOOD man, those are completely reasonable. And if a man tells you otherwise, then he's not a good man! I loved the costuming in Moulin Rouge. Feelings nostalgia and contentment washed over me. How did you feel? I think this is what women are looking for emotionally, the erstwhile dashing poet falling for the courtesan coveted by the jealous duke. Abso-freaking-lutely! I LOVE Moulin Rouge if mostly for the complete unbelievability and total fairytale-ness of it! It's a great escape from reality. LOL (I'm being serious...that was only half-snide.)
boogieboy Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I have unrealistic emotional needs that is why I would like to know what are normal/real emotional needs of a woman. I have a need for being loved unconditionally, being desirable for sex, being beautiful, a need for advice and help if a situation asks for, being exclusive, a need to know what is on his mind, a need to trust him and rely on him. Are these the needs that you are trying to get from the 20 year olds that you are after?
Author bac Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Please, does any woman here, except a few girls, emotional needs?
Kamille Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 mine are pretty much what Taramaiden said: I want to feel like I'm supported, heard, validated understood, respected and loved. I offer the same in exchange. I also, like SP, like to feel like he loves what is unique about me. But mostly, what's important to me is that I know we're able to work through issues in a healthy manner. My bf's emotional needs ressemble yours a lot more. (although he has dropped the 'penny for your thoughts' line a few times). He likes to feel desired, helpful, loved. He's the only one who's dropped the 'penny for your thoughts line'. In past relationships, that line drove me nuts, because I'm someone who doesn't like to feel 'invaded', and usually people ask that when they know my thoughts aren't peachy. With bf, I really feel like we can talk through any issues, so I don't mind sharing my thoughts (plus he's only asked three times in 5 months, and usually at time when I could reassure him that I was fine.)
Phateless Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I do not mind if men can answer the question if they know the emotional needs of females. The emotional needs are the same but the method of filling those needs is different. Men are validated by sex while women get more validation from being listened to. You get what I'm saying? Women talk to EXPLORE their feelings, not to relay them. Does that make sense? Men REPORT TALK and women RAPPORT TALK. If you do some googling on some of these terms I think you'll find some answers to your questions.
Phateless Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I have unrealistic emotional needs that is why I would like to know what are normal/real emotional needs of a woman. I have a need for being loved unconditionally, being desirable for sex, being beautiful, a need for advice and help if a situation asks for, being exclusive, a need to know what is on his mind, a need to trust him and rely on him. Your needs are reasonable, but I think you're expecting him to take care of your emotional needs INSTEAD of you taking care your emotional needs. I'm guessing that you have deep-seated insecurities that make you believe he isn't taking care of these needs when he's trying to. Have you ever talked to a psychologist?
threebyfate Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I have a need for being loved unconditionally,You're never going to find unconditional love. being desirable for sex,This is reasonable. being beautiful,I don't know what you look like so I don't know if this is reasonable or not. a need for advice and help if a situation asks for,Both reasonable expectations of a man, reliant on if he's equipped to handle everything you want from him. The litmus test is once again, reasonability. being exclusive, This should be a no-brainer when you're in an exclusive relationship. a need to know what is on his mind,This will never happen. You can only ask him and he will communicate what he's willing to impart to you. a need to trust him A partner can't provide this to you. It's up to you to trust a partner or not. Watch for red flags. and rely on him.To what degree do you want to rely on him?
shadowplay Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Please, does any woman here, except a few girls, emotional needs? Uh, I posted a list on the previous page.
Mary3 Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I need to feel * rapture * at least 2 times a day
Author bac Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Uh, I posted a list on the previous page. Shadowplay, thank you. Your list of emotional needs is wonderful. I just wonder if it is possible to find a guy who can satisfty at least half/or some of my basic emotional needs.
meerkat stew Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) 1. There are exactly three "needs" to sustain human life, food, clothing and shelter, and they do not differ between men and women. 2. Everything else is a "desire." 3. As much as the social sciences and psychobabble industries would like us to believe otherwise, "desires" are not "needs." Edited December 22, 2009 by meerkat stew
betamanlet Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 1. There are exactly three "needs" to sustain human life, food, clothing and shelter, and they do not differ between men and women. 2. Everything else is a "desire." 3. As much as the social sciences and psychobabble industries would like us to believe otherwise, "desires" are not "needs." Don't tell that to the real estate industry or to those who think we neeed to spend our way out of a recession. I think the secret to happiness is wanting what you have, rather than having what you want.. Because it's never enough. Hence why materialistic people are so miserable.
Recommended Posts