1life8love1trust Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Just wanted to know any success stories where you were left for another guy or girl and then things worked out eventually with your relationship. I mean is one thing to been dumped over something you know you did wrong, but another thing to be left without you knowing why they left you for another guy. I eventually found out, through research, why she left me. It wasn't cause I did anything, like cheating or being violent with her. I found out it was a Subconscious thing that happened. Anyways any storied where they eventually came back. And how did you feel at that time, did you take her/him back, or had you moved on?
Author 1life8love1trust Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 When I came down to evaluating what happened between us it was not because we did something wrong physically, but what we did emotionally. I had lose value in myself and I loved her to death. That is why she left me for anther guy. Whether we admit it or not we are animals emotionally. I know first hand cause this new guy has nothing on me. I mean he is the complete opposite. The whole the grass is always greener thing going. So the only problem is me trying to past this stage. Its only been two months but it feels like eternity.
thatguy90 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Now I have to say I am in a similar boat with you. My ex dumped me, every time I tell her that she did nothing wrong, she turns and says blame everything on me, but she did nothing wrong, she did leave me, she did shatter some of my dreams, but I can't blame her because I had lose value in myself and also I had become very sad around her, long story don't feel like writing it out. But anyways, she likes another guy, this guy has some things on me, but then again this guy does not have a lot on me. Me and my ex girlfriend are "friends" ... I am not sure if I can call each other that just yet. But we have not gotten back together, if something happens I will post it on here.
Oh Moe Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 When I came down to evaluating what happened between us it was not because we did something wrong physically, but what we did emotionally. I had lose value in myself and I loved her to death. That is why she left me for anther guy. Whether we admit it or not we are animals emotionally. I know first hand cause this new guy has nothing on me. I mean he is the complete opposite. The whole the grass is always greener thing going. So the only problem is me trying to past this stage. Its only been two months but it feels like eternity. I'm in month three of the same situation as you. We drowned each other with love for each other. She admitted we both got lost but instead of fixing it or trying after three years she took up with a crack-head with no job who lives (uses her and talks trash about me) with her and his ma and his pa. The definition of looser and he's there. So what I'm gathering if I didn't take care of her and the kids we would still be together. It's so hard because my parents were older and taught me to be the man all the time, there's a problem step up. They have a problem now he gets her high I guess. We still share many things(accounts and stuff) and she is in stage one of crashing, I hate being cruel but I can't wait till she crashes, because I'll be there to watch only. It sucks around the holidays since the last few Christmases were awesome.
Author 1life8love1trust Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 tryagaintoday wanna share your story...
tryagaintoday Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 tryagaintoday wanna share your story... nothing much really. not a re-conciliation or something. just that i had moved on, live life the way i never could have imagine and found the sweetest cutest girl and am in love. just follow NC. Grief your loss and don't hang on to false hope. Happens for a reason. best of luck and merry christmas!
Author 1life8love1trust Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Not really what I had asked but I am happy for you. I was really curious about getting back together with your ex? Anyone with their ex right now and things are going well?
Fitness Dude Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 1life8love1trust - I'm curious about this too. It seems the success stories where there was a reconciliation are few and far between sadly. Maybe it's for the better that there aren't that many references to fuel any "false hope" scenarios. I've come to loathe "hope" in the last few months. The words sounds so positive and inviting, unfortunately it's worse than the reality iteslf, because it perpetuates endlessly, and skews your perception of EVERYTHING.
jms76 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 That's why you hope for the best but expect the worst. That's my mantra.
kyta Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 My last ex and i got back together after a 6month break, 2 years ago, and as you can see it didnt last, i think we were ok for about six months then it went to **** again, i dont believe in reconciliations, if it breaks down then its really done for. We hope for reconciliations thinking that we will get back what we had, its never the same again, tried it to many times in the past and each time it has failed, thats why this time im not trying to get her back, i deleted her number yesterday and have not heard from her for 2 days now, woop woop.
NopeNah Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I'm back with my ex. You can go read some of my previous threads if you want. It's not all it's cracked up to be, that's for sure! There is still anger and resentment on both sides that we are trying to work through. My advice is to move on and start fresh with some one new. There's no past to get over. There's no cheating to get over. It's new and has never been broken so, there's no fixing needed. That's my advice and I'm considering taking it myself.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 My ex left me after 8 years but didn't cheat on me, came back twice and we were together for another 8 years before he left me again, in July. So we reconciled twice and were stronger for it for a few years, then he stunned me by leaving me again this year.
Author 1life8love1trust Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Thank you guys for all your inputs, I don't want what we had if anything, I want to start fresh as new and mature. I mean I am only 23, she just turned 24, we have our whole lives ahead of us. I am not saying that I am not going to see, date, or get into another relationship and whole knows probably find a new soul mate in the process. But we both have alot of maturing to do. I for one has learned alot from this. I have gotten into better shape then when I was in high school wrestling, bonded even close with my family, and my financle situation is alot better. My attitude in life has changes as well. I never really lost someone like her ever, I mean I had friends and family die, but for her to leave me is a different story. If in the future, maybe, months from now, or even years from now if we do get back in contact, I dont want a reconcilation. I want a new start, as if it was the first time we had met each other. Honestly though its still really fresh that probably why I feel this way. I just feel that.....and the other girls I have had during this is nothing. But I should give it more time, probably another 3-4 more months. Thanks again guys.
Simon Attwood Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I'm a repeating success story, or a failure, depending upon when you ask me My wife is BPD; she ran or tried to destroy our relationship 3 times before we were married and each time, she came back, and since being married I've lost count of the times she has tried to run away or hurt me to drive me away, only to come back again.
sheithappens Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 1life, you are really the only one that knows whether or not to continue pursuing her man.... your gut feeling should tell you what to do, your heart and your brain might have disagreements from time to time, but eventually you will know what to do, whether it be walk away or or stick it out, either way its still rolling the dice , good luck
sheithappens Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 btw i am one of those idiots sticking it out.... dont feel bad if you do, you are not alone good luck man
tnttim Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 1life. I'm trying a recon right now and it sucks. My mind wanders and my heart breaks somedays, other days I'm happy and carefree. I think back and remember feeling like that in all of my relationships. We are all human animals. We live on chemical reactions. The real question you have to answer is: Do i want to feel like this with her right now, or do I want to fall in love with someone new, and then feel like this 2 years from now with her. Love wears off, and reality sets in eventually, every time.
ms.ac Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I am in a similar situation, I dated him for 5 yrs when he left, played with my heart and head telling me he wanted to be with me again and pursued another relationship behind my back, he then threw it in my face that he was deciding who he wanted to be with and picked someone of the street over someone he has been with for 5 yrs and tried to make me feel as bad as he could about choosing another girl over me, and I can tell you with full confidence she has nothing on me, but that doesn't matter because he wants something new and exciting, I can only hope he regrets his choice and cruelty... but as for success stories.. my sister's boyfriend left her after about 10yrs and a kid, he went on to have a 3 yr relationship with someone else, and a couple other relationships as well.. my sister is now married to him, they have their problems and I dont know their relationship so i can't say if its a complete success or not but... also there were kids involved so it is a bit different
Peanut9330 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 When they do come back its never the same in most cases. I had an ex that came back and at first I felt relief. However within a few days the resentment came in. How could he choose a fling over me? How could he have just walked out one me?? All sorts of questions came flooding in. Needless to say I decided to end things it was just not worth it to me, but some people can work it out.
Recommended Posts