McGrupp Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 and here i am 15 weeks later stil pinning, posting, dreaming of her, realizing i ****ed up, thinking about going up there... **** who ruins a whole 3 + year relationship with a cell phone? someone who is needy, immature, selfish, insecure and lame. thats me!!! seriously we didnt even fight in person! if i just put my phone down i would still have her. 4 weeks of me freaking out for her to end it.!! who does that??!!??!??!?!? **** im a loser now. i hate this life. i miss her. she was my world man. lame. spamming LS like always. so lame.i hate myself... end/rant
Tayla Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Vent away dude! When done, gain respect by apologizing to her. Be-rating yourself does no good and you are learning you have alot of maturing to do. Stay in the sun to do that and not in the shadows.
nobmagnet Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 mcgupp my oh my. Do I need to get on the next plane out of snowy blighty and box you round the head????? Learn from this. Do something to give yourself a boost. Its ok to feel down about mistakes we all make them its not just you. You are not a loser and you never were. You had an emotional wobble and she wasnt strong enough to help you through. It says alot doesnt it?? Couples see each other through problems through communication. She had the power to see through your "rant" she chose to walk away rather than help you understand your feelings. Take her off the pedastool. Please it does take two to make or break a relationship mostly...........obviously I am perfect hahahah no I not. hugs xx
kickintheaz Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 bad day so McG... they're allowed... now the rant is over, put all those stoopid thoughts back in their little box and go do something positive for you... loser my az.. we could all label ourselves that but why should we? we're not losers.. practically everyone on here is the one trying to find the perfect way to win back the ex (or did at some point).. and we're the ones who are learning loads bout us.. and we're the ones with the insight and the resources to battle this should it ever come to pass again.. whats the ex got? A line of friends applauding her for doing what she's done whilst behind her back are thinking WTF did she give him up based on that one mistake??? now turn that frown upside down!!!
Author McGrupp Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) things im realizing or have realized: 1) use this as a catalyst to make the life you want 2) she was a good one (compared to these other ones) hardworking, sexy, goal driven, cheating...lol 3) you have to treat women like their fathers treated them. for example my dad is a nice great guy. my sister dumped her bf because he wasnt caring enough. however when my ex became distant i became nice and caring and gift giving. when i shouldve called her out on her **** and told her to **** off! like her dad wouldve done. 4) dont lose yourself in a relaionship and always have the power to walk away. 5) noboday really gives a **** about you, and your pretty much on yer own (save for some caring anonymous LS'ers in equally or worst situations especially if money and marriage and other dudes are involved to which i should feel grateful because although im sure there is another dude by now i have no known information of that). 6) LDR's will eventually collapse. 7) cheating is not the actual act, but rather the thinking beforehand, the premediated act of being some place without you SO, knowing full well why you are there and what you are going to do. 8) being single kinda sucks. Edited December 20, 2009 by McGrupp
Author McGrupp Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 also i guess she wasnt that great. just a good cook, good job, gave me head a lot, and what really more do you need? oh yeah, love, trust and respect
HeavenOrHell Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Bottom line is; our exes weren't that great and didn't love us enough or value the relationship enough cos they walked away-when they could have stayed and tried to work through the problems.
nobmagnet Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 ho ho ho santa was here! heaven or hell hit the nail on the head. I have the patience of a saint and it bought me 3 years of hell. He left me 3 years ago emotionally and I tried and tried and tried. He had gone. HE DIDNT WANT TO LOVE ME. HE DIDNT WANT TO MAKE IT WORK. HE HAD AN AFFAIRE. HE BLAH BLAH BLAH. honey she was weak. she wasnt THE ONE if she was my love she would be with you right now. i dont like to hear your pain. I want for Christmas ........you to see she wasnt the ONE. xxxx
thegoose Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Hey Grump, Don't feel so bad I am a pathetic pile of smelly stepped on dog ****.. I managed to lose the most beautiful, rich, talented, loving ,funny ,orgasmic head giving woman I have ever had. I have not gone one day without thinking of her..Honestly I don't think I have passed 1 hr where she has not come to my mind. I cried like a baby today because I am still shattered after 3 months. My life just feels so lost. I hear her cute sneezes I hear her laugh I hear sing I hear her cry I hear her fart...ect...I have relived every minute we spent together and these memories are all I have left...I am torturing myself because I am afraid to let go of her still as much as I tell myself I that I want her out of my mind it is me that allows her to stay there. I think of her and her new rich dude. I know she wants a family so I am dreading the day when a mutual friend tells me yup she's pregnant ( she wanted kids with me but I was hesitant) (breaks my heart I would give my left nut to have a family with her now) I have recently broke NC..( I feel shame for this and for still being lost in my pining). I feel so scared to be alone sometimes that I will never find another her. She was like my angel who saved me from my ****ed up self. ok end vent (although I could go further I am going into healing mode) So before everyone tells me what I have to do I will note what I have been doing to help myself. Physical activity, gym, hockey, soccar, badminton, dance lessons, jogging, yoga and renovations. Positive thinking....Antony Robbins Rocks, How you can heal your life Louis L Hay, I totally relize it is me who controls how I feel. I am starting to have really happy moments and feel good but when I think of her/us minutes after I have clouds of sorrow. Dating...Been getting laid and dating a wonderful beautiful woman for the last 2 months..This is really helping but sometimes I even think of my X(ouchh honesty hurts) Time Alone to deal with my co dependent issues..This is the killer I hate being alone..I am working really hard at this and its a rollercoaster ride between talking to myself and crying at my sorry self pity. Controll of my alcohol addiction...I have a few beers often but no drunkeness or abusive use. Talking to friends and Family untill they are just sick of hearing me hang on to a fishing line of thread.... and yes LS..and other internet resources..... I honestly feel that I am becoming a better person trying to be honest with myself and dealing with all my issues and my pain...I am also almost ready to admit she is not coming back... Sorry to vent on your vent..but this suks... I am going to the gym...
Author McGrupp Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 at least your getting laid blue ball'd
thegoose Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 funny you should say that ...my nuts were killing me for a month after we broke up...I think it was some kind of brain thing though ...not the classic blue balls... I am thinking that when I am old and gray and she is too that I will go back and take care of her.......thats kinda pathetic too...but I love this woman that maybe hates me now....Time will tell.. be strong brother just when I thought I would never get another BJ....Wammo my new lover pulled through like a champion....but after I realized it was not the BJ's that I missed most.... I miss the way she loved me....but as we have all heard ...that love came from a different person...I am in love with a person from the past, she does not even exist anymore....I am in love with a memory of how she was...She has died. And a part of me with her....through death we live..death is change..change is scary...but to conquer our fear is the greatest triumph there is...that is what we are going through...so fight hard and face the fear we shall....If there will ever be a chance for her and I want to have conquered my fear to make it right next time..And if there is someone else out the for me I want to make it work...So we turn the fear and pain into strength and wisdom...easy to say hard to do.... So lets take control of our thoughts and become the people we want to be...Then let the love shine...Hoping is useless , actions are the way.. It is a battle with ourselves nothing to do with them anymore... Agreed?
Author McGrupp Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 idk, i feel like im turning a corner. started 3 converatins tonight with random women (2 on the train 1 at the bar) and got 2 of thier #'s. ive become like super social lately and will talk to anybody. hasnt turned into any bj;s though
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