vincentrayo Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I've been dating this guy for a few months now. But recently, I caught him posting on craigslist and replying to sex ads as well. I confronted him about it. He didn't deny anything. But he insisted that nothing happened, nothing came out of it. Regardless, the thought of him actually being curious and looking around on craigslist sex section really bugs me. He told me that he really likes me and he enjoys being with me. Which is quite the contrary to what he has been doing behind my back. A week after, he jokingly said something about wanting to have an open relationship. And he told me that in front of my best friends. I was embarassed of course. I didn't know what to say that time. I just brushed it off. But the next time that I asked him about it, he told me he didn't remember saying it because he was drunk. 2 nights ago, I confronted him about everything. I told him that I know he wants an open relationship with me. I told him I can't. I've done an open relationship before, and I didn't like it. I just got hurt in the process. I told him that I want a monogamous relationship and that's the difference between us. So, I broke up with him. He wouldn't let me. IT was a game of cat and mouse the whole time. Me trying to convince him that a break up is the best decision for myself and for him as well. But he told me that he loves me, and he doesn't want to lose me. I told him that I know he wants me in his life, he wants me around him, as his boyfriend but that we both know he wants to be sleeping around as well with other guys at the same time he's having a relationship with me. What should I do? I gave him a chance because he asked for it, because he said he's willing to work it out with me. Does that mean he's willing to sacrifice what he wants? That he's willing to forego his want of having an open relationship for a monogamous one with me? I know I should be happy with what he said, but I'm having doubts about him now. Like every single time that I won't hang with him, I would just get paranoid, I'd think that he could be online on craigslist and looking for sex. My trust for him is totally tainted. Should I just wait for him to actually prove to me that he's seriously willing to work it out with me? OR should I just end this right now and just move on?:confused:
The Sheriff Shot Me Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 If he won't let you trust him, there's no reason to be with him anymore. It's obvious you two want two different things in a relationship and it would be best if you not deprive each other of what you really want. I'd end it if it was me.
dazzle22 Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 You said, sleep with other GUYS?? or did you mean girls. I generally take men at their word when they say something unsolicited off the cuff about relationships. It is what they MEAN. And this guy wants an OPEN relationship where he can sleep with others, but keep you on the line too. Dump him.
D-Lish Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I wouldn't continue to see someone after finding out they were soliciting sex online- what is there about that, that can be resolved? It's a total breach of trust and you should have kicked him to the curb as soon as you found out. He isn't in charge of whether or not you two break up, it's not up to him. Stand up for yourself, respect yourself, and dump him- end of story.
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