Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 so true. since Lizzie is a separate entity in his mind and she's safe (meaning he feels that his wife will never know about Lizzie) then it is easy for him to separate his married life from his time spent with Lizzie. maybe he doesn't get heard enough at home and wants an outlet of someone to discuss/brag about his business dealings with. maybe he doesn't get sex the way he wants it at home and goes to Lizzie for his fix. maybe he's been busy and distracted with work/home and just wants a temporary escape from reality and knows he gets that with Lizzie. probably all of the above. a good reason to understand that no matter how great a wife/friend and mother one can be - sometimes it's still not enough to keep certain men faithful. We talked about his life at home (sex with his gf)... and he said it was very good... she has a higher libido than him.. he says he's too tired most of the time.. when he gets home late.. he has supper.. then play with the baby.. he's too tired. So, apparently, sex is not a problem.. She's a little 'wild' on the side too.. (not cheating.. but had fun with girls before, I don't think she's doing that anymore though)... I saw her once.. she's a very attractive young woman.. ('pageant' type blond)... I don,t really know why he cheats.. honestly.. he says he feels guilty.. he wanted to stop when he had his son.. but he can't control that aspect of his life.. I think, in his case, it's really an addiction.
carhill Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 So, more of a variety addiction than a sex addiction, in light of the apparent matching libido of his W? If that's the case, I wonder if you're one of the variety or the only variety, given his cycle of contact. Interesting
stampdaddy Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 So, more of a variety addiction than a sex addiction, in light of the apparent matching libido of his W? If that's the case, I wonder if you're one of the variety or the only variety, given his cycle of contact. Interesting stop it!!!!!!!!!! :mad:
carhill Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 OK, sounds good. I don't want to get into a fight
stampdaddy Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 OK, sounds good. I don't want to get into a fight dude, I like you, but dont cower to this CRAP... Dont agree with Lizzie because you think she's hot. This is a 27 year old man with a couple of babies, so don't FU*K with that.... Lizzie should stand up and say as much! After ALL she has seen here, on LS, "come on man!"
xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 It does sounds like he has an addiction to taking risks. Of course, I'm still puzzled as ever why some men like him can just cheat when the wife is pregnant.
carhill Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Stamp, IMO, the thread isn't about Lizzie's proclivities, which my opinion has been quite clear about over the years here. It's about their interactions and her venting. There's a time and place for the other stuff. It sounds like the young man is feeling his oats. Trophy wife, kids, successful business all at a young age. Perhaps he needs a life-altering event to adjust his perspective a bit, especially if Lizzie is just one of a number of interests he has to fit into his tight schedule. By her own admission she hasn't seen him in months and the contact has been proactive on his part. I don't see the five-alarm fire here, TBH.
stampdaddy Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Stamp, IMO, the thread isn't about Lizzie's proclivities, which my opinion has been quite clear about over the years here. It's about their interactions and her venting. There's a time and place for the other stuff. It sounds like the young man is feeling his oats. Trophy wife, kids, successful business all at a young age. Perhaps he needs a life-altering event to adjust his perspective a bit, especially if Lizzie is just one of a number of interests he has to fit into his tight schedule. By her own admission she hasn't seen him in months and the contact has been proactive on his part. I don't see the five-alarm fire here, TBH. youre right, I am sorry... just a little "personal".. have a great week, especially you Lizzie
Citizen Erased Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I've been on here for quite some times now and never has any thread made me so sad for the person involved. Disregarding Lizzie as she's just being her usual self, the thought of ever being in that position, of being married to someone and having his children while he goes off and screws any number of different people...It's all just very sad. Some people should never marry.
bentnotbroken Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I've been on here for quite some times now and never has any thread made me so sad for the person involved. Disregarding Lizzie as she's just being her usual self, the thought of ever being in that position, of being married to someone and having his children while he goes off and screws any number of different people...It's all just very sad. Some people should never marry. Or have their genitals permanently installed in a jar of pickle juice.
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 So, more of a variety addiction than a sex addiction, in light of the apparent matching libido of his W? If that's the case, I wonder if you're one of the variety or the only variety, given his cycle of contact. Interesting I asked him about that.. he said no.. I was his only A.. he got a little pissed because since the summer he had called me a few times... we spoke (just to chat a few times) and he tried to come over twice and I said no (I was busy). Since I bought my condo .. I moved farther from all of them.. so they have to drive the extra 45 minutes to see me.. He might eventually find someone else. who knows..
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 dude, I like you, but dont cower to this CRAP... Dont agree with Lizzie because you think she's hot. This is a 27 year old man with a couple of babies, so don't FU*K with that.... Lizzie should stand up and say as much! After ALL she has seen here, on LS, "come on man!" Whooaaa.. who the h*ll do you think you are.. if you don't like the subject of my threads .. you can skip it.. I'm talking about a young man.. like MANY young men out there who have this sex addiction.. who are, I'm sure, not happy about it.. but just can't control themselves, for some reason.. and this is what I'm trying to figure out.. with this guy.. He's certainly not the first young guy, who has a beautiful wife, beautiful kids, nice house, successful business.. overwhelming maybe.. who cheat on his wife.. whether she's pregnant or not. They just got the result this week.. so this one is 'new'..
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 It does sounds like he has an addiction to taking risks. Of course, I'm still puzzled as ever why some men like him can just cheat when the wife is pregnant. No.. they cheat regardless.. whether she's pregnant or not.. in this case, he cheated on her since they started dating.. 10 years ago...
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Stamp, IMO, the thread isn't about Lizzie's proclivities, which my opinion has been quite clear about over the years here. It's about their interactions and her venting. There's a time and place for the other stuff. It sounds like the young man is feeling his oats. Trophy wife, kids, successful business all at a young age. Perhaps he needs a life-altering event to adjust his perspective a bit, especially if Lizzie is just one of a number of interests he has to fit into his tight schedule. By her own admission she hasn't seen him in months and the contact has been proactive on his part. I don't see the five-alarm fire here, TBH. I haven't seen him in months.. because I couldn't see him.. he works a lot (and I mean a looooot).. and when he had a bit of time to spare.. I said I couldn't see him.. I would very much doubt he's seeing someone else.. on a regular basis (like me).. we used to see each other more before I moved... He told me, more than once.. that he really wished he could stop.. he did (for a short while) while she was pregnant with the first baby.. but he came back.. he said he can't .. I am not sure why.. in his case, since his W seems to have a high libido (according to him).. and big boobs. It is interesting to 'psychanalyse' this guy..
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Or have their genitals permanently installed in a jar of pickle juice. I know.. but he's certainly not the first and not the last.. Thing is, in this case, they were highschool sweethearts.. she was his first.. they fell in love.. he chose her to have his babies (I guess).. he was pressured by his parents to settle down.. (from what I understood)... they adore her.. They are a very close-knit family... they get together every Sunday. and sometimes (like last night) for special occasion (it was her birthday)..
stampdaddy Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Whooaaa.. who the h*ll do you think you are.. if you don't like the subject of my threads .. you can skip it.. Boy, I was a grumpy boy wasnt I?? sowwwy
donnamaybe Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I just don't understand why a 27 year old new father, with another sweet baby on the way, and a wife that is carrying that baby would even think about having an affair... ***nothing personal against you, although I wish you would "counsel" him and getting his stupid head out of his ass (or yours) thats all And calling HER insensitive.
Owl Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I'm talking about a young man.. like MANY young men out there who have this sex addiction.. who are, I'm sure, not happy about it.. but just can't control themselves, for some reason.. and this is what I'm trying to figure out.. with this guy.. Here's the thing...they COULD choose to control it. They CHOOSE not to. From my perspective (as a healthy male), we all have the same "desires/urges/whatever"...the difference is, some choose to remain faithful, and some do not. He faces the same choices I do everyday...but the difference is which choice he makes...everyday. Don't give him the excuse of "can't control himself"...he most assuredly can. But given that ...HE makes the choice not to do so.
NoIDidn't Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 He will never give up on sex on the side.. I don't think... she's been his first gf.. they've been together for 10 years now.. and he has cheated on her for maybe 8 of those years. First this. Then this: I asked him about that.. he said no.. I was his only A.. Sounds like he just doesn't call all the other flings affairs, but they are basically the same thing if they are only for sex. I can't believe he's upset with you for doing the same. Double-standards, and all that. But I've never seen you call the wives of your married men anything but "horseface", so I had to quote it here for posterity. LOL. I saw her once.. she's a very attractive young woman.. ('pageant' type blond)... I don,t really know why he cheats.. He's certainly not the first young guy, who has a beautiful wife, beautiful kids, nice house, successful business.. overwhelming maybe.. who cheat on his wife.... Oh and the fact that she probably enjoys sex as much as you do, really does make you wonder why this one cheats. Beautiful W that loves sex, so why does this guy cheat? I doubt the sex addiction thing. I say its because he can always find willing partners. And at 27, he's probably a little peaved that a woman thirty years older than him is putting him off because she's "busy". Lizzie, I thought you were blowing off steam, like "mad" at him. But it seems you are just annoyed that he wasn't understanding that you have no obligations to him. I know there is more to "just" being annoyed, but you certainly don't sound angry about anything.
carhill Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Petulant children. Absent the pleasure they enjoy occasionally, psychologically, he's like one of her adult children. I imagine she sees a lot of parallels. I liked the catch about "A" versus "flings". He can have many ONS and not have affairs. His repeated contact and sharing with Lizzie is what constitutes the A. In a less public way, he might face the same fate as Tiger Woods, not from Lizzie singing (I doubt she ever would) but from one or more of his ONS who see an angle to gain from. Hope he has good damage control skills
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Here's the thing...they COULD choose to control it. They CHOOSE not to. From my perspective (as a healthy male), we all have the same "desires/urges/whatever"...the difference is, some choose to remain faithful, and some do not. He faces the same choices I do everyday...but the difference is which choice he makes...everyday. Don't give him the excuse of "can't control himself"...he most assuredly can. But given that ...HE makes the choice not to do so. I guess you can say the same about cigarette addiction, drug addiction, etc.. they choose to continue.. maybe it's not that easy to stop..
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) First this. Then this: Sounds like he just doesn't call all the other flings affairs, but they are basically the same thing if they are only for sex. I can't believe he's upset with you for doing the same. Double-standards, and all that. But I've never seen you call the wives of your married men anything but "horseface", so I had to quote it here for posterity. LOL. Oh and the fact that she probably enjoys sex as much as you do, really does make you wonder why this one cheats. Beautiful W that loves sex, so why does this guy cheat? I doubt the sex addiction thing. I say its because he can always find willing partners. And at 27, he's probably a little peaved that a woman thirty years older than him is putting him off because she's "busy". Lizzie, I thought you were blowing off steam, like "mad" at him. But it seems you are just annoyed that he wasn't understanding that you have no obligations to him. I know there is more to "just" being annoyed, but you certainly don't sound angry about anything. I honestly doubt he has other As.. he might have ONS.. I don't know.. I don't really care.. I never called this W.. a horseface.. that was my MM from work.. (I still think she's ugly).. I guess you missed my post about this young girl.. Yes I do wonder why he cheats.. I guess he does because he always got away with it.. she has forgave him for 10 years.. he knows he can get away with it.. even if she finds out again.. he said she only knows a few of all the women he had.. (which is about 10). With one of those women.. which was a lot older too.. he only had sex once.. but it was an EA for a little while.. He only seeks older women.. I guess for the sexual experience.. I had a 'fight'.. but really I should have said a 'heated argument'.. I was pi*sed and so was he.. He left... talking at about 1 inch from my face.. with eyes rolling in water... maybe he will call again.. maybe he won't.. I honestly don't care that much... I am still a bit pi*sed but not near as much as I was when he left.. Plus I didn't divulge all that was said.. (and I won't).. Edited December 21, 2009 by Lizzie60
donnamaybe Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I guess you can say the same about cigarette addiction, drug addiction, etc.. they choose to continue.. maybe it's not that easy to stop.. Many MANY people have stopped smoking and doing drugs. It's called will.
Owl Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I guess you can say the same about cigarette addiction, drug addiction, etc.. they choose to continue.. maybe it's not that easy to stop.. Has he been clinically diagnosed? What are his symptoms, BESIDES cheating on his wife? How do you know that this is an SA (addiction) issue rather than simply his choice? Sorry...until someone produces a doctor's note...it's as likely poor moral choices as it is to be any kind of actual medical/psychological issue. Gee...even if it DID turn out to be a true "addiction"...wouldn't you be serving him (and his lovely wife and sweet child) better by suggesting he see a doctor and get treated, rather than FEED his addiction? Rather than passing the bottle to the alchoholic, wouldn't it be better to get him to admit the problem and seek treatment?
Author Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Has he been clinically diagnosed? What are his symptoms, BESIDES cheating on his wife? How do you know that this is an SA (addiction) issue rather than simply his choice? Sorry...until someone produces a doctor's note...it's as likely poor moral choices as it is to be any kind of actual medical/psychological issue. Gee...even if it DID turn out to be a true "addiction"...wouldn't you be serving him (and his lovely wife and sweet child) better by suggesting he see a doctor and get treated, rather than FEED his addiction? Rather than passing the bottle to the alchoholic, wouldn't it be better to get him to admit the problem and seek treatment? To be totally honest Owl.. it's not MY problem.. it's his.. he knows he should stop.. he always says he feels guilty.. blablabla.. we had this discussion many times.. Like you said.. it's his choice.. I say it's a kind of addiction... I'm not a doctor.. we are just having a discussion here.. no one here is qualified to analyse anyone.. we can just have opposite views of one problem..
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