Back2dabasics Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Me and my girlfriend broke up a few months ago. I found out she was going out with some other guy a week before we officially broke up for good. So after a few months, I just got an email from her saying she swallowed her pride to write me an email and like the new year is in a few weeks she hopes theres no bad blood between us. because the day we broke up it wasn't mutual. i felt betrayed and lied to that i wrote her an email saying i hated her. so in this email she sent me right now, she said she not askin for us to be friends but just to keep mutual...what does this mean? this email is confusing me. cuz i'm 90% over it. i felt i moved on and i took huge steps to get where im at cuz in the beginning i felt hurt alot and now i don't care as much. i prefer her to be happy with someone else than me even though she screwed me over. i don't hate her anymore. but its interesting that she contacts me thru an email right when i'm almost done with my healing process. i have maintained NC with her. so i followed NC but she contacted me first...should i respond? and if i should respond what should i say? need some help
boogieboy Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Dont respond, It will burn her up, and thats what she deserves. let her think you hate her. Youre over it, and you dont need to open a dialogue for any reason. Letting her know you are over it does nothing for you, it might even set you back. Dont respond, and maybe feel better that SHE is feeling bad, which is why she is checking up on you. Shes doing it to relieve HER guilt it has nothing to do with you, Its purely selfish, thats why she said "she not askin for us to be friends but just to keep mutual." Which means I dont want to start talking again, I just cant live thinking that someone hates me, because I know I was wrong, and I need to relieve my guilt." Screw her. Let her wallow in her guilt. She cheated on you, let her deal with it without your help.
LovelyDaze Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 You could be cordial but don't say that you can be friends or mutual or any of that. TRUST me...read my recent posts on the "Coping" part of LS. My ex recently dumped his fiancee' this week, begged for a second chance with me and THEN got back together with her just the other day! DON'T be in my place. Thankfully, I didn't believe he really was gonna follow thru dumping her and is just a damn psycho! If you start a friendship whether by e-mail, text, etc....your healing heart will go from 90% to 2% healed. She will only break your heart again. Believe me.
trueblue72ny Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 i agree with boogieboy. she is just trying to make herself feel better. why do anything for her? she totally screwed you over. and is now looking for you to say its ok. i say let her deal with her actions. and keep moving on. if you respond you are basically making her feel better about leaving you to get with someone else. she gets to feel better about everything. you get stuck feeling like a chump.
twinklecat Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Do not reply! Just like others have said she's doing it to relieve her own guilt!
Author Back2dabasics Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 thanks alot guys. i haven't respond and with all of your advice i won't. but i must admit that a small part of me inside would want to reply but i know i can't because its only gonna take me back to square one. i'm also wondering and i wouldn't be surprised but what should i do if she calls me?? should i pick up??
1life8love1trust Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Respond and tell her to screw herself....LOL just kiddin. Like mostof everyone here I just got dumped too, for another guy. Still fresh actually, a little over two months but it feels like eternity. Funny thing is I still have hopes of getting back together with her.<- Lame I know. Maybe down the line 4 years maybe 8 years whatever I know its not over between us. When she matures more she will eventually contact me. I really am not sure where I will be at that point but I am sure one of 2 things will happen. 1 I will get back together with her and toy with her emotions and break up with her 2 get back together and live a happy life. I am leaning more toward 1 cause I am very prideful and I can understand the guys that you been with before me, but the guys after me and then we get back together. Just nasty,but maybe thats where I need to mature more. But yea just let it be, she will probably email you some more to get your attention, and you will probably break and talk to her, but stay focus. Act like she doesnt matter. Dont be rude but give her a chance to see the new you. Push and Pull theory!111
XKatieX Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) I agree with pretty much everyone else, don't let her get her way. Its obvious to see shes feeling some guilt..if you talk to her it will basically seem like it was ok for her to leave you for some one. It sounds like you're on the right path though, you kept NC and she broke it...continue to stay strong. BTW if you're concerned about her calling you, honestly I would block her number..because I know how hard it is to resist the urge to pick up. Its truly the hardest, but best way to handle it. You know you have to move on, and the only way you can do that is by erasing her completely. Good luck. Edited December 22, 2009 by XKatieX
Author Back2dabasics Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 Respond and tell her to screw herself....LOL just kiddin. Like mostof everyone here I just got dumped too, for another guy. Still fresh actually, a little over two months but it feels like eternity. Funny thing is I still have hopes of getting back together with her.<- Lame I know. Maybe down the line 4 years maybe 8 years whatever I know its not over between us. When she matures more she will eventually contact me. I really am not sure where I will be at that point but I am sure one of 2 things will happen. 1 I will get back together with her and toy with her emotions and break up with her 2 get back together and live a happy life. I am leaning more toward 1 cause I am very prideful and I can understand the guys that you been with before me, but the guys after me and then we get back together. Just nasty,but maybe thats where I need to mature more. But yea just let it be, she will probably email you some more to get your attention, and you will probably break and talk to her, but stay focus. Act like she doesnt matter. Dont be rude but give her a chance to see the new you. Push and Pull theory!111 i also had those same thoughts of getting back with her in the future and screw around with her and break her heart lol but who knows if that will happen. its been a few days and she hasn't send me any emails like sayin why i didn't reply to her other email so i guess she has the message clear that i don't wanna know nothing about her and i'm already over it. actions are louder than words. so by me NOT responding to her email should show her that i don't care. Silence is the best way to get revenge. What comes around goes around so she'll get hers eventually
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