RadR Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 hi guys, I not going to go into a lotta detail about my relationship here becuase now that were broken up, i wanna remain strong until i do decide to make an effort to win my ex back. but Im gonna write out everythign that i think defined us. and definitely give you an idea abt the rest. so heres the deal, I ve actually never been in a serious relationship. except this one girl (call her G1 ) whom i dated for 2-3months in 9th grade. but we were serious abt each other then, she moved and thats why we ended our relationship.later we went to seperate colleges but we started talking again (facebook/phone/texts). we realised we had feelings for each other but i was still against LDR so we kept it casual and ended up becoming very close friends. we went on to date other ppl. and casually flirted with each other during this time. but nothing serious. in college i met this girl (call her G2)in college. How it started out was that i thot she was a 'playgirl' and i figured we could both have fun together. we started dating and we got along really well. before we knew it we were serious about each other. so MISUNDERSTANDING #1: (NOV08) things were going very well. then i fell sck with typhoid and my parents flew me back home to recover. i still sick and at home when the date for us completing a year together came by.I obv couldnt call her cos i was in the hospital(no cells). when i recovered and got back to college, my best friend and roommate suggested i just rest a few days and not got to class/meet G2. it seemed like a rational thing to do. i told her abt my decision. we continued to speak on the phone for the next 3-4 days. and on the 5th day she broke up with me!!6th,7th,8th,9th days were spenting fighting and bickering. i was irritated/upset since id been in bed for almost a month and i wanted space...then i spoke to one of her friends and she told that shed made me a gift for the aniiversary and was upset abt not being able to give it to me...well then we made up and she gave me the gift, a very beautiful scrapbook chronicling our one year together uptil then...i kinda felt bad then cos shed worked very hard for it. but i dint know and she somehow got the idea that i was going out with my friends during this time and simply ignoring her. which wasnt true.(M/U #1) 3 weeks after our college closed for the winter. we were home...at home i had a few pros with my family...stuff that kinda lead me to lose heart. this coupled with a loss of self esteem due to the huge weight loss i suffered cos of the typhoid kinda pushed me into depression. talking to my girlfriend wasnt helping cos i thought she dint understand me or love me anymore(cos of the break up/ depression, im not sure) i told her this and she broke up with me over the net. i wasvery angry. and hurt. i decided i wanted to flirt with other girls kinda get back at her. but i never wanted to cheat on her for real so i just started chatting/facebooking this girl (G3) i kinda flung with a year earlier just before meeting my girlfreind. but the first day into this i realised i dint wanna go down that path. and i just stopped. MISUNDERSTANDING # 2 (JAN 09) then when i got back, i made her a gift:P and talked to her and we got back. then once she asked me abt G3, shed known abt our fling from earlier cos id told her. not wanting to lie to her i admitted to everything. but she misunderstood me thinking i was cheating on her at the begining of our relationship and then again towards the end. (M/U #2 ) honestly i dint even get to the cheating part with G3...i stopped after talking to her for maybe less than an hour. but i guess theres no way to convince anyone abt this. we got back together even after all of this...it was a much longer and hurtful process tho...but she came back herself...we mad a few fight even after but nothing major...we stuck thru. everytime i tried telling her the truth abt this incident she got too upset and we never cleared the air. but we went out until OCT09, then just the day before semester break she told me she coudlnt do this anymore. i figured maybe she just needed some space so i agreed to it. but once we got back to college she refused to meet me/cut our calls very told. told me she was happy without me etc etc. well i wasnt too shocked cos i figured maybe it was happening over a much longer preiod than i realised...first i thought it was cos she needed space and then thought she had completely fallen outta love. but i still loved her.do love her...the physical pain itslef was too much, not to mention the motional pain...so i dint give up completely...(i did the crying and begging thing for a bit, but i got a grip on myself soon)...i tried talking to her on the phone then but somehow every conversation would escalate into a huge fihgt and wed just hang up on each other. she said some things like she was scared of talking to me cos i would force/emotionally blackmail her(i should say here that when we got back in jan after the cheating incident i did do this initially bcos i felt i was being misunderstood and hence it dint matter how we got back together, we just had to somehow. tho eventually she came back cos she missed me).this was all around maybe (7-10NOV '09) anyways now i figure theres no point talking. cos either wed fight or i might plain scare her away from me(she very emotionally impressionable).so i started to right her letters, telling her how i felt. the good thing outta this was that after 2weeks(3 letters) she started talking to me and we stopped fighting on the phone...after the 4th letter she suggested we meet up but only to tell me that there was no point in my trying to woo her back. but we went out for coffee and later dinner. she admitted she had a conn with me that she dint wit anyone else, she let me put my arm around her couple of times, even snuglled up to me at the booth in the restaurant, even let me kiss her once...i dint force the kiss, i made it obv that i was gonna kiss her and she dint pull away...at one point she asked "you miss me a lot dont you?" i told her i did. then she admitted sometimes she missed me too.on the way back she teased me saying i couldnt resist kissing her..we rubbed noses but then i pulled back cos i dint wanna get played... then we left for home the next day. ive avoided talking to her since then. except today when i msgd her on msn (14 days after our coffee/dinner 'date'). ive spoken to one of her friends who used to 'deliver' my letters to her. see says, that even tho she tells even her that there is no point in my writing letters, shes always genuinely happy after reading them... from everything that i understand is that this is a problem of trust.she always imagined me to be a certain way but in those 3 incidents i described, she ended up losing her faith in me. felt i had let her down. its been 3 months since we broke up.ive been thru every possible emotion anger, disappointment,trying to forget, feigned indifference,and now determination to get her back. none of these emotions have been as strong as my determination. please help me win back her trust. i know theres no set of rules to do that. i know its not gauranteed. but i cant give up. between G1 and her i must have dated 7-9 girls (3years) but i never felt a connection so natural and so strong with anyone else(she has admitted that neither had she). so dont tell me nothing can be done abt it, cos ive already thought abt that and im gonna do whatever, however big or small a gesture it is, to win back her trust and love. guys just temme whatever you can think off excpet that theres nothing i can do abt it. im kinda pushing this a lil bit i realise cos were gonna get done college in less than a year and our chances of getting married will just crash if we dont 'close' before that cos our hometown are in diff countries(were both indian) and i dont wanna start a LDR. its just something i cant do. if we after a years decide that inspite of the two years, the last one was worth getting married. id work around my job and somehow minimise the time we spend apart but i would never go into an LDR not having already made a committment. hope you guys understand. so guys, please help me out!!!
Author RadR Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 so heres the deal, I ve actually never been in a serious relationship. except this one girl (call her G1 ) whom i dated for 2-3months in 9th grade. but we were serious abt each other then, she moved and thats why we ended our relationship. umm i typed that out wrong. i meant to say G1 and i were not serious in school but realised once we got to college and started talking to each other again that we still had feelings for each other
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