TheRoots2k Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 To warn you this is rather complicated as it’s been bothering me for about over a year now. I could do novel on the amount of details but I'll try to shorten this up as much as I can. I never had onenitis like this ever in my life and I hope when this does go away finally...It won’t happen to me again. I started talking this girl at my work, who I’ve known for awhile but never really talked to her. Her relationship to me is rather complicated as it’s my brother best friend's sister and my cousin's sister in-law. As we started working together, I started getting into her but she was in a rather long term relationship on the downside so I tried not to get involved. Well it didn’t work out as I hope. Complicated girls get put in the friend zone until they get less complicated. Well unfortunately for me it blew up in my face. Her bf began to hate me especially after I hung out with her one day after work week and she didn't tell anyone or her bf who she had broken up with a week before and then gotten back with him 3 days later. I didn't know and I didn’t do anything because I was still unsure at the time about how I felt and if I actually wanted to get myself into something that complicated. Unfortunately when I decided to actually make something happen, she stopped talking to me and I got warning from her brother to stop talking to her despite the fact I had only tried contacting her twice since that time. It was rather awkward to say the least. It wasn’t until my dad's funeral I would see her again and well she really lifted my spirits. I had an opportunity to make something happen with her but I passed on it because I felt my emotions at the time were too strong for that decision and besides that her intoxicated brother got in my face asking me If I was working moves on her and then proceeded to tell me I would have marry it or some **** if I got with her. Unfortunately after that I never really got to see her much again as she kind of just ignored me. It was painful but I got over it. I went sky diving...amped up my surfing...started reading self-help books..I did a lot of stuff but it just made me think about her 2 times a week instead of everyday until I started going to raves. It stopped for about 3 or 4 months until the anniversary of my dad's funeral. Now it’s distracting me again especially with new bits of info I’ve found out. Like every time I saw since her that bite I had with her she had always broken up with her bf just the day before and gotten back with him the moment she went home...with exception of my dad's funeral...which she broke with him that same day but since last Christmas I have not seen her since. She used to come to all my extended family gathers but stopped. I can think of a few scenarios to why but they piss me off so I don’t waste energy on it. I just want to just finally get over it. It distracts me from my work at times and it hurts my ability to get into relationships with women. Every time I get with a girl and when start to thinking of it being more than just a fling, I automatically compare them to her energy and well they lose. I’ve asked everyone I trust and they’re tired of hearing about it or they're perplexed. Only thing I haven’t done is tell her how I feel. I’ve never done that because of my fear that it was too good to be true. We had or have a lot of values in common and it freaked me out how much we shared and the chemistry we had. I mean the one time I hung out outside work or an event…I’ve never seen so many people smile and give me the thumbs up. Anyway I would just sabotage myself by doing the opposite or saying the opposite of what she liked or did. I was afraid of getting into a relationship so close to home and felt like I would hurt her if she got too close and damage my social group. I never really tried to get intimate with her despite how awkward it felt. I don’t think too hard about that. I was insecure and inexperienced with women at time and well things are a lot different now. I just want to know how to close this chapter in my life and be able to move on. I don’t have her contact info anymore as I got rid of it and well it just seems weird to just throw this at her when it’s been so long. So…any advice would be helpful. Thanks
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