chrissy001 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I had a best friend that I met in 9th grade. We were best friends all through HS---while I had a HS sweetheart. When me & the boyfriend broke up --- the best friend then demanded I date him. Needlesstosay, the friendship dissolved. 15 years later, he sought me out. It was great....it was like no time had past, but BETTER! So, I went for a visit. Amazing... we had a great time & 3 days of non-stop sex. So, I come home and he's all blah, blah,.....I don't know...if you we're here. So I told him he couldn't ride the fence and he needed to pick a SIDE. I wasn't going to let him "play me" and make him pick a side. It was about a day later he posted on fb he was "single, looking for dating and a relationship." His local ex-girlfriend said she "liked it." I got REALLY--- upset. I actually broke out in hives, from being SO- upset. I made it KNOWN to him, how upsetting this was to me.......Instead, of apologizing or making an effort to be considerate as to how I may feel about the whole situation...He PROCEEDED to RUB the situation in my face! So, I got really---upset and proceeded to send an e-mail calling him some rather choice words**** and sent the "other woman" and e-mail letting her know of the situation...& referred to him as 1 of those rather choice words**** (Back ground info: I am divorced. A marriage that ended as a result of my husband having an affair w/ my "best friend" while I was pregnant w/ our child. There affair started pretty much after us finding out we were pregnant and I filed for divorce @ 7 months pregnant when I found out of the affair. I became aware of "intimate & graphic" details of their affair. I got so---phyiscally stressed by the situation, I developed all the symtoms of " toxemia" and almost LOST the baby. Subsequently, I numbed myself to the emotion of the situation to save my child. It has been an up hill recovery w/ sex, emotions, communication, and interpersonal relations since.)***** Point being PRESENT guy had FULL DISCLOSURE of all this. So, the question is... Did I overreact or was my anger justified based upon the given circumstances?
CarrieT Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Sorry - you walked into that one, babe. Three days of non-stop sex on a first visit? You asked for it. You let yourself be played and have no recourse.
Author chrissy001 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Yeah- I know...think I'm MOSTLY MAD @ myself!
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 nah, it's not that. only complete morons treat you badly just because you have sex with them straight away. my question is this: why would you even talk to someone that 'demands' that you go out with him? doesn't that strike you something weird and/or sinister? even if that happened in 9th grade. then you meet 15 years later, both of you are completely different people from how you were all those years ago (not necessarily for the better) and you think you have anything in common still? it doesn't sound like that guy cared much about you in 9th grade and he certainly doesn't care about you now. it's bizarre to me why you would talk to someone like that more than once
Author chrissy001 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 it doesn't sound like that guy cared much about you in 9th grade and he certainly doesn't care about you now. it's bizarre to me why you would talk to someone like that more than once __________________________________________________________________ It's not totally like that. We were BEST FRIENDS. And that connection was INSTANTANEOUSLY there 15 years later. The thing is 15 years earlier, it came down to him being inconsiderate to my feelings....(he was tired of waiting & felt hit was "his turn," despite the fact that I was grieving a broken-heart at the time) and GUESS WHAT??? History, REPEATED itself! This guy has for a lack of better word "professed" his love for me (very openly, even when I had the boyfriend in HS)...the last 20 years... It was interesting... we didn't talk after HS, yet his ex wife "knew" of me (which was 6-7 years after HS). I'm a helpless romantic and I got "sucked" into the whole idea of it! -----I am exploring those avenues, why I self-destructively made the choices I did.....Especially after all I've been through with my ex. I am FULLY AWARE that men my detriment.
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 it doesn't sound like that guy cared much about you in 9th grade and he certainly doesn't care about you now. it's bizarre to me why you would talk to someone like that more than once __________________________________________________________________ It's not totally like that. We were BEST FRIENDS. And that connection was INSTANTANEOUSLY there 15 years later. The thing is 15 years earlier, it came down to him being inconsiderate to my feelings....(he was tired of waiting & felt hit was "his turn," despite the fact that I was grieving a broken-heart at the time) and GUESS WHAT??? History, REPEATED itself! This guy has for a lack of better word "professed" his love for me (very openly, even when I had the boyfriend in HS)...the last 20 years... It was interesting... we didn't talk after HS, yet his ex wife "knew" of me (which was 6-7 years after HS). I'm a helpless romantic and I got "sucked" into the whole idea of it! -----I am exploring those avenues, why I self-destructively made the choices I did.....Especially after all I've been through with my ex. I am FULLY AWARE that men my detriment. what do you mean tired of waiting and felt it was his turn? he was supposed to be your friend! friends don't have their 'turn'. ok let's say he was/is hopelessly in love with you (ex wife knew about you,etc) .. well it's either that he is a big fat liar or he is just completely useless at relationships and hurst women all the time. men aren't your detriment, you are. you need to figure out why you pick certain types (there must be a pattern)
Author chrissy001 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 men aren't your detriment, you are. you need to figure out why you pick certain types (there must be a pattern) __________________________________________________________________ AGREE completely. It's the CHOICES I make, in regards to those men that is my detriment. I need to figure out, why I can't seem to break the pattern & it SEEMS to have gotten worse (post-divorce).
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 men aren't your detriment, you are. you need to figure out why you pick certain types (there must be a pattern) __________________________________________________________________ AGREE completely. It's the CHOICES I make, in regards to those men that is my detriment. I need to figure out, why I can't seem to break the pattern & it SEEMS to have gotten worse (post-divorce). at least you can see that, it's the first step in the right direction. it's probably because you are uncertain where you are, what you want, what you need. maybe give yourself a little time to get your head in order before seeing anyone else?
Author chrissy001 Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 Yea- I definitely! got some figuring out to do.
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