denise_xo Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Please help me.....the last two weekends the woman I love more than anyting....that left me for another man....has text messaged me and I have NOT responded. First weekend...."How are you doing?" The next day (Saturday) ....her is my new address. this weekend. "What is the name of that place we went on vacaction?...(Name of a bar in Arizona) One minute later....name of bar! I have not responded to either. I am a wreck....I love her so much....this is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Block her number from your phone, or text her back stating calmly that she shouldn't text you again.
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Talking to you reminds me of talking to my ex. After a lengthy discussion with him one night about our relationship - at midnight, he asked me the exact same question that the entire conversation started out with at 6pm. It was like that 6 hr conversation never happened, it was like he didn't hear a single thing I said in all that time. It was then that I realized that he was never going to be satisfied until I told him what he wanted to hear. I left him because he didn't want to fix our relationship, he just wanted his way. sotagoon, you don't really want to heal, you just want your way. So I say call up your idiotic ex who's sleeping with a child and beg her to come back. I hope it works out for you.
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Nah angel that's the wrong idea!!! But i also concur he should erase her number and block it!!!! Stay NC!!!! what she writes to you isnt important. let the OM deal with her crap!!!
Author sotagoon Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) sotagoon, you don't really want to heal, you just want your way. So I say call up your idiotic ex who's sleeping with a child and beg her to come back. I hope it works out for you. Angel I wish I knew what it is that you think I "want to hear"? I made a decision to have NC with her almost a month ago because of a conversation that was had and things that were brought to my attention. Just so you know, it has been very difficult to keep this promise to myself, but I have held to it. When I last spoke to her, I flat out asked her WHY she left. I asked this because she made a statement about the fact that I shouldn't want her back because "I would just leave again". I asked her why she left...because I still don't beleive that she left for all the reasons she villified me with. Her response: "Because I wanted to feel ALIVE again"...she said that being hold up in the hospital for almost 6 months and and then at home in bed for another 3 months made her want to LIVE again. This has made me feel like I was killing her. Like she would die if not rid of me. Now....I can't begin to describe how much it hurts to have her contact me when she so desperately wanted to get away from me. Then add another guy into the equation and my worth is in the toilet. So.....although it makes me feel like I am ripping my own heart out by ignoring her, I have finally started to realize that I can't have what I want. (US back)...In fact , it probably wouldn't be healthy anyway. Angel, Chrome....everyone else....I am lost. I love her and always will. I am just so lost as to where to go from here. I try to keep going w/o her and she seems to want that connection back. I'm not looking for sympathy or for someone to say..."Do this" and evrything will be alright....Like I said, I'm just really lost. Edited August 9, 2010 by sotagoon
IfiKnewThen Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 ditto. i am lost too. and i am sorry..i know people are trying to give you a shot ion the arm and their strength and for you to have strength...but i hate the way everyone says "man-up" or be a man. your heart is breaking or broken..and lie as you know it and desired it with her is gone. and you mourn these things. and there are days that you might feel stronger then bam..something hits you like a ton of bricks because something reminded you. for me i cant say the man i loved sucked. how he ended it stunk and how he treats me now is very painful. but he was so good to me and i cant even refer to bad times. and he wont be replaced. he was almost a saint. and i hate myself for ruining that. and that makes the grieving 1000 times worse. (when they were good nice compatible people and when you blew it...talking about myself here) but i feel your pain and truly relate and you and not less of a man for loving that deeply and mourning like that. you are more of one. you just have to survive now until you can ever feel joy again. but its important to go through all of the grieving process, i have read. i read john grays book..starting over and i would recommend it. no it doesn't take away the pain but puts this horrible feeling of not wanting to be here in some perspective and gives you some kind of hope. basically i hate waking up to most everyday. and i am still in shock and its 3 months and still feels close to day 1. and i hope like you. all the time. anyway....i wish you well. and God bless. and i really do pray for all the broken hearted. some people never change. but those of us who really learned and are willing to change.... i just wish they would give us a chance and see, that they can feel alive with us..once more.... i know that would bring me back to life too.
IfiKnewThen Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 i meant life as you know it. not lie as you know it. dang typos of mine:rolleyes:
Angel1111 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) Now....I can't begin to describe how much it hurts to have her contact me when she so desperately wanted to get away from me. Then add another guy into the equation and my worth is in the toilet. I'm sorry but it's things like the above statement that I just can't wrap my head around. If anything, it would thrill me that someone I loved, who dumped me over and over again, was suddenly feeling remorseful about what they did and contacting me. And she's doing it behind the back of another guy. Priceless. That would humor me to no end. Even though I would do nothing about it, at least I would know that they were agonizing over their hurtful behavior and bad choices. For you to ignore her is probably the biggest shock of her life because she loves playing games with you and thinks that when she says jump, you ask how high. Now that you're not playing the game back, she's most likely feeling like she's been slapped in the face - which is exactly how she needs to feel. All the way around, her contacting you and you ignoring her is nothing short of sweet justice, as far as I can tell. I do get why you still have pain over this relationship. What I don't get is why it feels like you're 'ripping your heart out' to ignore a person who has ripped your heart out over and over again - especially for the ridiculous reasons she gives you. She has done far, far, far worse than ignore you. Feeling bad about ignoring her makes no sense to me, either, and it probably never will. The reason I said that I think you want to hear us tell you to get her back and try to make it work out is because there seems to be no other way in your mind. You don't seem to want to hear it from us, and you walk away from every therapist who makes an attempt to help you get you past this. What do you want them to say? What are we going to do to help you get back with this person? That's the way it seems. Maybe I'm wrong. But this woman is poison - pure and simple - and you just can't seem to accept that and do whatever it takes to move past it. So I'm really not being sarcastic when I say to go back to her. Do whatever it takes to get her back into your life and start over again. It may be the only thing that will make you happy again....that is, until she does this stuff all over again. I hope that you'll just let time do its job and allow yourself to heal. There truly will come a time when you'll look back on this and wonder how you could've ever wanted a person like her in your life. In the meantime, I wouldn't waste my time agonizing over ignoring her. Being ignored is the very least she deserves. Edited August 9, 2010 by Angel1111
Trojan John Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Sotagoon, You know what to do, you just don't want to do it. Excise the tumor. Destroy, erase, block, et cetera, everything that is related to her. Phone numbers, cards, emails, images, EVERYTHING. Move across an ocean if you have to. Excise the tumor. If you can't do it, have someone do it for you.
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