barbiedhol Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 What does my bf mean when he says we have not completely broken up? Then he says I love you! A lil about us: My Bf and I have been together for 2 1/2 yrs... and on thursday we had some misunderstandings that lead us into having a big argument. The big argument did not go well, therefore it ended up very bad. He told me how he loves me so much and cares about me alot. But in the process of becoming a Doctor, it is hard for him to give me attention that he thinks i Deserve. I told him how i understand, at times it is hard..but whatever he is doing for me today is better than anything else I am getting. He tells me he will be a better best friend than my boyfriend. Which brought both of us into tears, its been so long. We've been each other's lucky charm. In the end he told me how he did not want to break up with me.. he said why don't we take a lil break and see how it goes. After 10 mins of talking and talking (i guess i made him mad i dunno how) he said lets just break up. When i came back home i received a txt from him saying "hey babe i love you" yday he called me and said the same thing. We are still talking to each other everyday and saying "I love yous" So when he says we have not completely broken up? what does he mean? Any advices or suggestions will be truly appreciated.
kickintheaz Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 What does my bf mean when he says we have not completely broken up? Then he says I love you! A lil about us: My Bf and I have been together for 2 1/2 yrs... and on thursday we had some misunderstandings that lead us into having a big argument. The big argument did not go well, therefore it ended up very bad. He told me how he loves me so much and cares about me alot. But in the process of becoming a Doctor, it is hard for him to give me attention that he thinks i Deserve. I told him how i understand, at times it is hard..but whatever he is doing for me today is better than anything else I am getting. He tells me he will be a better best friend than my boyfriend. Which brought both of us into tears, its been so long. We've been each other's lucky charm. In the end he told me how he did not want to break up with me.. he said why don't we take a lil break and see how it goes. After 10 mins of talking and talking (i guess i made him mad i dunno how) he said lets just break up. When i came back home i received a txt from him saying "hey babe i love you" yday he called me and said the same thing. We are still talking to each other everyday and saying "I love yous" So when he says we have not completely broken up? what does he mean? Any advices or suggestions will be truly appreciated. stop talking to him. He is clearly confused and is not doing anything to try resolve his issues.. He told you he'd be a better best friend than a boyfriend?? I'm sorry, but if you're not good enough to be his g/f then he is not good enough to be your friend. Make like a ghost and disappear, tell him that if you have to. Read the NO contact guides and understand it is for you. It will be hard but you are being strung along and I presume you respect yourself enough not to let that happen? Look, we've all done it here (most of us anyway!).. but it never ends happy. Let him take his guilt trip (that he is trying to validate by talking to you) somewhere else and leave you in peace. Don't believe he is doing that?? then read mine and others threads on what happens... And the other hard thing is taking him off that pedastal you have him on... but you must. In short my opinion is: Tell him to stop contacting you cos you need space now. then Do not contact him for any reason.. The sooner you do this, the easier it will be, if he wants you back he will come back, but in time.. you would be dealing with things through the cloud of emotion now, you need clarity. No Contact Now.
TomTom5 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 You know, I've read so much on the 'let's be friends' thing and have just come to this conclusion. Looking back, if I have ever had a relationship that seemed one sided, ie I wasn't THAT much into the other person, I have probably said, Let's be friends to them. I like them alot, enjoy the fun we have, BUT they are not someone I want to stay with. In other words...I think there's someone out there better suited to me, but I'd like to keep you around until I bump into them. And if they did stick around I didn't feel more for them. So think of it that way round and look at how you felt about a person you just wanted to be friends with...and maybe that's how this b/f is seeing you. I know that is a tough pill to swallow...your self esteem hits rock bottom, and the idea of someone doing that to you when they KNOW how you feel about them seems cruel and callous. No contact is right. Absolutely. It's not about them, it's for you to protect yourself from any more damage, because you give away your power in that FWB scenario. If you let someone have their cake with you and eat it, whilst they know full well how you feel about them, they will not value you and it will show. If you refuse to be used in this way, you are taking control and keeping yourself safe. You DO have value, lots of it. There's only one of you in the entire universe. So you are very, very precious. My humble humble opinion.....I really do feel for you.
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