Limbo21 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 (edited) I'm always shocked that if I ever tell the story of my breakup to anyone they always tell me to talk to her & try to get back with her.* It seems nc is only advocated on the net & not by my friends & family. I personally think nc is a must but that's only because I've read so much on being dumped. I find their attitude makes it more difficult to maintain nc cos they know I love her but they just don't seem to understand no contact!? Edited December 19, 2009 by Limbo21
twinklecat Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Hello Limbo21 Only you can make the decision ultimately. However my friends and family have all been the exact opposite, saying to cut my ex out my life, it must be awful not having the support of those close to you for your decision. Perhaps you could try explain it to them? x
teanoranges Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 my family pulls out the 'time' line.. haha. 'We all go through this' I hate how much its true.
EricaH329 Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I know exactly how you feel. That's why I don't talk to them about it anymore, I just vent here
xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I always tell them they can do better because they honestly can. Don't be hard on your friends, their response may seem slightly automatic but they do care. Now they should have followed it with a beer offer and ask " So which girl that just came through the door do you want as a rebound?":laugh:
McGrupp Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 i always like, "if you care for her youll fight for her" ok...
GrayClouds Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) I'm always shocked that if I ever tell the story of my breakup to anyone they always tell me to talk to her & try to get back with her.* It seems nc is only advocated on the net & not by my friends & family. I personally think nc is a must but that's only because I've read so much on being dumped. I find their attitude makes it more difficult to maintain nc cos they know I love her but they just don't seem to understand no contact!? It because we all watch too many F#cking movies People forget what is funny to watch in "Romantic Comedies" hurts like hell in real life with real feelings and real humans...same thing holds true about Bug Bunny cartoons...trust me, anvil's hurt Edited December 20, 2009 by GrayClouds
Author Limbo21 Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 ^^^ Ain't that the truth lol ^^^ It's crazy how many say to me "she's your soul mate (more like sole) and if you tell her what you have just said to me then she'll be back in your arms before you can say 'I hate all women'!! (sorry Erica, Ronni & others) Yes i do love her -- but she doesn't love me - enough
EricaH329 Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Yes i do love her -- but she doesn't love me - enough That sentence says it all.
dazzle22 Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 If you were the "dumped", then being the first to initiate contact is usually futile. If she had a change of heart she will contact you. If she doesn't, well, then obviously, she won't. And you contacting her will not improve your chances, and I think that is what you want to do right, improve your chances? Then NC is the only way.
Author Limbo21 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 I'll never contact her - that's never been a thought for me. She always called, text & emailed ... She even hand posted a card & sent me a bunch of flowers begging me for me back. I fell for it & then she pulled away again. Things were said & now she doesn't contact me anymore. I was asked to go out on a girl's birthday tonight, just me & her. I said "yeah that'd be nice"?!? Why? I don't want to go out! She is so far from what I want in a girl. She's so different from my ex & that's exactly what I want, if not her then someone with same value's & humour. That's the problem really ... My ex was almost everything I want but can't have damn it ... lol
GrayClouds Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 My ex was almost everything I want but can't have damn it ... lol So next time you get everything:bunny:
EricaH329 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 So next time you get everything:bunny: You took the words right outta my mouth!
D-Lish Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Friends will often tell you what they think you want to hear in order to make you feel better. They mean well! Our first instinct when we are losing something we love is to hold on tighter. The pain of a break up inspires decisions rooted in emotion, not logic. My really young 23 year old neighbour got dumped by her fiance a while ago- they'd been together 5 years. I ran into her in the hallway when she was in tears and I've spent time consoling her. Initially, she was making all the classic mistakes. She was phoning him non-stop, begging him to come back, calling his friends- even her mother called him on her behalf! Her friends were all saying the same thing- to fight for him. This has just pushed the guy away more, and made her more miserable. She finally listened to me and stopped contact. (Of course he is now distraught and contacting her).
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