Waitress Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Do guys even have friend zones? Or, if a girl is attractive and the guy is heterosexual is being close friends more of a friends first kind of thing to them? Someone told me guys pick their close female friends the same way they pick their potential partners.
Sam Spade Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Do guys even have friend zones? Or, if a girl is attractive and the guy is heterosexual is being close friends more of a friends first kind of thing to them? Someone told me guys pick their close female friends the same way they pick their potential partners. No, I'd bang most of my female friends (the pretty ones), if it was possible to do without complications.
jerbear Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Yes, there are different levels; I have potential partners with the right circumstances can be GF's they are usually kept far away but we still spend time together. There are those who are only friends, not acquaintances but those I will not have a relationship with. NO CHANCE. It is much easier for a girl to get out of a guys friend zone but there is a small area in the zone that is a true friend zone.
tkgirl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Do guys even have friend zones? Or, if a girl is attractive and the guy is heterosexual is being close friends more of a friends first kind of thing to them? Someone told me guys pick their close female friends the same way they pick their potential partners. I'm interested in finding out more about this myself.... I've had a few male "friends" recently that come to mind. It seems to me that if there is some type of attraction on their end, that they will still try something. I mean, I thought we were friends only but then later I'll find out they would like more... I don't know... I think it's different for guys. If there's even a slight possibilty for sex they will go for it, where as us women.. when we put guys in the "friend zone" that's where they will stay...
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Yes, there are different levels; I have potential partners with the right circumstances can be GF's they are usually kept far away but we still spend time together. There are those who are only friends, not acquaintances but those I will not have a relationship with. NO CHANCE. It is much easier for a girl to get out of a guys friend zone but there is a small area in the zone that is a true friend zone. my experience exactly with some close male friends
b52s Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Do guys even have friend zones? Or, if a girl is attractive and the guy is heterosexual is being close friends more of a friends first kind of thing to them? Someone told me guys pick their close female friends the same way they pick their potential partners. You know what, now that I think about it, I RARELY see posts about women complaining about how a MAN puts them in a friend zone, in fact, hardly ever even OFF-line. Think about it, how often does that happen? LOL With men, the only reason a man hangs around a woman is to hopefully get intimate with her. I've even been known to think about my female friends in a naughty situation. lol
Author Waitress Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 I've been thinking about this, too. There have been times (rare) when guys have said they prefer to be just friends with me (not gloating that it's rare, I just think it's on par with other women's experiences). And even then eventually if we spend time together they develop feelings and want a romantic relationship.
phineas Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Yes, there are different levels; I have potential partners with the right circumstances can be GF's they are usually kept far away but we still spend time together. This is how i'm doing it now until my divorce is final or I loose that last 20 lbs. Which ever comes first.
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I've been thinking about this, too. There have been times (rare) when guys have said they prefer to be just friends with me (not gloating that it's rare, I just think it's on par with other women's experiences). And even then eventually if we spend time together they develop feelings and want a romantic relationship. then you weren't friends in the first place, they just wanted to look 'safe' so you would spend time with them.
gopher Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Do guys even have friend zones? Or, if a girl is attractive and the guy is heterosexual is being close friends more of a friends first kind of thing to them? Someone told me guys pick their close female friends the same way they pick their potential partners. I have and still do stick women in the friendzone...it has nothing to do with physical beauty, it's more subtle than that.
soconfusing Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 My best friend (a girl) happens to have a lot of close guy friends that are just that. Friends. I actually find having guy friends is a very difficult thing to do. Even when they insist on being friends (if I turn them down for a second date or something) no matter how "friend-like" they try to act, if they hear that I am going on a date with another guy, they start acting weird and a little jealous. So I don't think friend zones with guys are ever going to be an issue.
Okeydokey Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 My impression is that a woman is often in the friend zone if she sends out (mostly non-verbal) cues that that is the zone she wants to be in. But if you are interested in a man or if you just want to be in the hazy zone then you usually are more mysterious and flirtatious in your friendly interactions and you kind of occupy a more nebulous friend space... The men that I'm friends with are in my friend zone and I'm in theirs, but that is because we've somehow communicated to each other that that is where we want to be.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I've been friendzoned plenty of times. Usually it was because they weren't attracted for whatever reason.
carhill Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Even when they insist on being friends (if I turn them down for a second date or something) no matter how "friend-like" they try to act, if they hear that I am going on a date with another guy, they start acting weird and a little jealous. One - they're lying (about being friends) Two - They're just sexual buzzards circling I've been one so I know the psychology. It's just unhealthy. Friends should be proactive, supportive and loving, and that goes for both genders. I had a bff for about a decade who was those things and we had a great mutually supportive friendship with no romantic intentions. I even critiqued her bikini modeling on a few occasions and she had her opinions of the ladies I dated. She finally found a guy who did it for her but he seemed increasingly uncomfortable about her having a close male friend, so that was that. I heard she married him a few years later. Hope it worked out
b52s Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 She finally found a guy who did it for her but he seemed increasingly uncomfortable about her having a close male friend, so that was that. I heard she married him a few years later. Hope it worked out I was waiting for something like this to be mentioned. Typically, guys are NOT cool about being "friends" with women, however, you get a guy like yourself that is cool with it...and STILL the inevitiable dissolution of the friendship occures, esp when there's another man in the picture. Happened to me at a church singles function. Somehow I befriended a woman one time, we even spent time together, but she didn't think of me in "that way". But, as a creature of habit, I started sitting with her at services, and hanging her at social events....(as I would a male friend). Then, one day, she tells me to stop hanging around her at these events. I was kind of shocked....it sounded like it was hurting her to tell me this....kinda like "Yeeaaaaaa..um...don't know to tell you this, but....maybe you should kinda chill hangin' out with me" You see, she told me this gave OTHER men in the group the impression that we're "together"....you know, as a couple. I was kinda irritated by this response, but I respected her....it left a foul taste in my mouth, but I laid low on contacting her via email or whatever. Then about a week or so later, she emails me and asks where I've been and stuff.....then she said she was coming to my area to look for puppies, and wanted me to hang with her again when she was in my area of town. So we did.....then while we were having lunch she says to me, "You know, my friend tells me you and I shouldn't be hanging out, because it might give you the wrong idea." And I said, "Well, does it matter what your friend thinks?" So it reared its ugly head again. FINALLY, she found a HUSBAND, and that pretty much sealed the deal, at the time she was engaged, she said she only wanted me emailing her at her WORK email address. LOL I was like forget that, I just let her completely go out of my life...hadn't talked to her since. ONE time....I was friends with a woman for about a year, she did date a guy a the time...and we were STILL friends....then he moved IN with her.....well, that ended it there. Apparently, she saw us IM'ing each other (like we normally do) and apparently he had a problem with it....so there went that female friendship. You see, even when you DO decide to be "cool" with the female friend.....it can always backfire on her later on down the road....because she'll get a boyfriend...he'll have a problem with her having a close MALE friend, she'll have to call that friendship off and that's it.
nocode Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I've been "friend zoned" by men so often that I'm used to it.
alphamale Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 i don't friendszone women, i just blow them off. there is no point in being "friends" with the opposite sex
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 i don't friendszone women, i just blow them off. there is no point in being "friends" with the opposite sex this is a little sad
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 b52s/carhill, I have some really close male friends (I'm living with 2 of them) and I am sort of anticipating the time when I'll be banned from having a friendship at least with one of them by their girlfriends when that happens I'll deal with it of course but I know I could never ever go out with a man that was insecure enough to tell me whom I can be friends with. maybe would end up spending less time with a male friend if my partner asked me to (that would be fair enough perhaps, depending on the situation) but some of these boys I have known for over 15 years. no-one can expect me to give them up for good. I wonder what the definition of 'true friend' is for some people
nocode Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 i don't friendszone women, i just blow them off. there is no point in being "friends" with the opposite sex Yeah, I've had that happen too.
nocode Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I have some really close male friends (I'm living with 2 of them) and I am sort of anticipating the time when I'll be banned from having a friendship at least with one of them by their girlfriends It does change things when the friend gets a significant other. In my experience, you have less alone time with the friend and when you do talk, the significant other comes up in conversation. I figure it's natural for the friendship to change a bit when he is in a relationship.
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 It does change things when the friend gets a significant other. In my experience, you have less alone time with the friend and when you do talk, the significant other comes up in conversation. I figure it's natural for the friendship to change a bit when he is in a relationship. yes absolutely and I want my friends to be happy. I do have a hard time with partners stopping their SOs to be friends with someone though
b52s Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 (edited) b52s/carhill, I have some really close male friends (I'm living with 2 of them) and I am sort of anticipating the time when I'll be banned from having a friendship at least with one of them by their girlfriends when that happens I'll deal with it of course but I know I could never ever go out with a man that was insecure enough to tell me whom I can be friends with. maybe would end up spending less time with a male friend if my partner asked me to (that would be fair enough perhaps, depending on the situation) but some of these boys I have known for over 15 years. no-one can expect me to give them up for good. I wonder what the definition of 'true friend' is for some people It doesn't have to end badly, it's just part of "change", the natural order of things. Time to move on when we reach a milestone. And you won't be "Banned" persee....chances are, it will probably be YOUR decision should you decide to just let those friendships fizzle. As Agent Smith says, "It is inevitable" lol I haven't been in touch with any of my "good" female friends since I stopped staying in touch with them. This typically happens once they get married, ESP. after having kids.....heck...NOW that I think about it, I had SAME sex friends...male friends, that once they found a girlfriend...then got married....every time I tried to ask them, if they'd like to catch a flick or grab something to eat on a Fri night.....his response, "I gotta see what the wife is doing, I think she wants us to do some stuff that night" And this was that person's answer every weekend, I eventually just stopped calling. So it might not even opposite gender specific. Edited December 19, 2009 by b52s
ordinary_girl Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 So it might not even opposite gender specific. true!!! it's probably age
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