Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 Another way to perceive it is that online profiles are like real life meetings; unknown at first, but perhaps more known as time and experience go by. Some online profiles are really married people, people just wishing to hang out, people looking for free meals, etc. It's about perception. When I see an online profile, I take away an overall impression of the person based on what they've offered. If it's interesting and I'm curious to know more and began that interview process, I'll contact them, not having any preconceptions about who the real life person is. Years of personals (newspaper, phone and online) dating prior to getting married taught me that, as I made all the mistakes For example, one profile I happened to save based on overall perception seems to come and go every few days, disappearing and reappearing from my list as well as searches. Those actions suggest to me that this person, even in light of my overall perception of positive aspects, may be incompatible due to lack of consistency. Other saved profiles have remained constant, either viewable, or not. Consistency is an aspect of personality I value, so that has bearing on my desire to pursue that potential. IMO, it doesn't hurt to be a bit of a benevolent cynic. Accept that the online dating process is imperfect, as are its participants, even the one making the statement that's great insight carhill! thanks! I actually have a date tonight and its driving me nuts. Its a second date, but can get a read on this person at all. Sometimes when we communicate (text/email) she acts like she is VERY interested, the last 2 days, I have gotten very quick responses. If anything, i would expect the communication to be much better as it goes along. this is precisely why online dating is so different. i have no idea what im doing! im treading this one very carefully....i really hope tonight goes well, i think the girl is a great match....and i'm also getting very tired of the online dating scene already. just too much work!
carhill Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 IMO, see phone/text/e-mail as facilitating real life interaction. If that interaction isn't facilitated or doesn't happen, that's one path. Accept it. You can make dating as much or as little work as you want.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 IMO, see phone/text/e-mail as facilitating real life interaction. If that interaction isn't facilitated or doesn't happen, that's one path. Accept it. You can make dating as much or as little work as you want. haha...you're totally right... i guess the part that I have been caught off guard by is that everyone is in the same boat on the dating site. everyone is looking for someone and has 100's to choose from. its daunting. one wrong word, one stupid sentence, one misspelling in a profile can separate you from your 'soulmate'. its just crazy...and intimidating...
carhill Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 TBH, in my trial example, I used rudimentary match parameters like 'divorced', 'non-smoker', 'social drinker', etc, and then just get an over all impression from a quick scan of the profile. I didn't upload any pictures since I'm not interested in dating right now and generally women don't contact men, for sure those without pictures. A couple have contacted me, but they're likely scammers/spammers/imprisoned psychopaths . Seriously, scan, get an overall feeling and go with that. Dating should be be fun. Meeting new people is a great way to experience the world, seeing it through different eyes. I never did finish my journal about my dating experiences in Ukraine back when 'online dating' was in its infancy. What an adventure
adamt Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I always assume that the other person is dating or speaking to other people online. Although i dont think about it. I just tend to remind myself this is my window of opportunity. been online fior 2 months.First girl we went on a 2nd date, we got on ok but i decided not to persue it, 2nd girl was as good as her pictures in her profile, we got on really well and felt comfortable. going on a 2nd date sometime but she is out of the country for a month. in the meantime i have another 1st date lined up this week. have to keep your options open until you reach the point where 2 people want to start the relationship. All 3 girls suggested going out on a date first so hopefully that gives me an advantage. all you can do is be yourself and see if they like it. I would think that getting to a 3rd date is the first break through when things might be getting a bit more serious. then i would probably ask them if they are dating other people. i think first date has a lot of nerves and on edge, 2nd date more relaxing and peoples personality come out. 3rd date i think helps to confirm if they are relationship material. 4th date means you are just about there unless you mess it up. anymore dates then i think they are still seeing other dates
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