Author pandagirl Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Your first comment to him, when he first approached you. Your dating him now.... Get it? Oh crap. I'm still waiting for an answer on the boxer issue He spent the night at my place! He is friends with many of his exes, so that means he can't be THAT freaky, right? I even met one of his exes, and she seemed quite charming and intelligent and oool.
Author pandagirl Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Maybe its not as bad as it sounds, but what he said sounds creepy as all get out. I would almost be afraid of his reaction if you broke it off, because he seems very attached to you or maybe "obsessed". Not trying to scare you, but I definitely would proceed with caution as you say. Hopefully its not as bad as it seems. Yes, I'm going to cool it with the communication while I'm gone. Honestly, I am worried about his reaction if I were to break it off. WTH! I just met this guy. I need to deescalate.
carhill Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 OK, boxers stay on until world domination is under control.... I even met one of his exes, and she seemed quite charming and intelligent and cool. That was his sister
CLC2008 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Oh crap. He spent the night at my place! He is friends with many of his exes, so that means he can't be THAT freaky, right? I even met one of his exes, and she seemed quite charming and intelligent and oool. No, because "freaky" would be introducing a girl you JUST started dating, to an ex.... Wth?
jw90063 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 How did you manage to meet one of his ex's ? What was the situation?
Author pandagirl Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 I really do need to proceed with caution. He does seem to possess some sort of thing for being "dominant." As in male vs female roles. Next time I talk to him, I'm going to bring up what he meant by that. Thanks everyone for your input! It's made me think.
Author pandagirl Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 How did you manage to meet one of his ex's ? What was the situation? He invited me to a holiday party, and then said: "Just so you know, I dated one of the girls there years ago, but now we are just friends." Controlling guys are very possessive. Hmm. This is something to chew on.
CLC2008 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I really do need to proceed with caution. He does seem to possess some sort of thing for being "dominant." As in male vs female roles. Next time I talk to him, I'm going to bring up what he meant by that. Thanks everyone for your input! It's made me think. Don't forget to ask him which date will it be when you get to meet another one of his ex's. No but in all seriousness, just be careful Panda.
boogieboy Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Oh, that is terrible! But, I still laughed. haha. You're right. It doesn't add up. He's just so into me. I don't want to hurt him. I'm just going to proceed with caution. I'm gone for 2+ weeks anyway. Maybe he'll cool his jets. No he wont. Guys dont work like that. Unless you tell him youre not interested anymore, he will be turning up the heat until you get back, and then bring all the heat to you when he sees you. So if you want him to cool off, you have to TELL him that now.
Author pandagirl Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 No he wont. Guys dont work like that. Unless you tell him youre not interested anymore, he will be turning up the heat until you get back, and then bring all the heat to you when he sees you. So if you want him to cool off, you have to TELL him that now. I just need things to cool down to a more reasonable level. I just talked to my good friend about it. She said she understands my wariness and that I do have good points for concern, but that also it is my pattern with dating that I pick apart every guy and find reasons for why a relationship wouldn't work out with someone -- that i don't let myself get excited about anyone, instead focusing on the negative. This guy MAY indeed end up being the wrong guy, but I've been in therapy for the past two years trying to resolve this exact problem: why I push people away, why I pick the wrong men, why I can't get into a relationship. So I need to pay attention and be mindful of my emotional process in this particular situation.
torranceshipman Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Hmm....see, he pushed early via IM, you two spent the night really quick, he said heis going to dominate you (?!) and is gushy. Definitly keep your eyes open! I have a hunch he might get all weird and controlling, or suddenly disappear as fast as he appeared. BUT he might be ok - just maybe take it a little slower...
alphamale Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 i would be careful with this one pandagirl
Author pandagirl Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 Hmm....see, he pushed early via IM, you two spent the night really quick, he said heis going to dominate you (?!) and is gushy. Definitly keep your eyes open! I have a hunch he might get all weird and controlling, or suddenly disappear as fast as he appeared. BUT he might be ok - just maybe take it a little slower... i would be careful with this one pandagirl Thanks for your concern, guys. I am definitely being cautious. I guess I take comfort in the fact that I know how to take care of myself, and will do the best thing for myself when I need to. I talked the whole thing over with my very best friends, two of whom are psychologists. They pretty much said, "Yeah, there are definite red flags, but proceed with caution, get to know him better." They also pointed out that he might be perfectly compatible for some other girl, but just not me. I'll keep you guys updated!
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