puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I don't know if this is even a big deal or I just feel weird about it, but my boyfriend says the same exact phrases to me as he did his ex, like "I'm all yours" and when he sees me and says "mine" and gives me a hug, stuff like that. I don't know that he knows that I realize or know, and I believe he's genuinely happy to be with me, it just makes me a little uncomfortable and I don't know if I should even say anything to him. Should I just stop thinking about it?
lorangie1 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I don't think I quite understand your dilemma... those are phrases every couple uses...
LovieDove24 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Im curious to know how you are aware of the exact phrases he used with his ex gf?
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 From online posts. Stupid, I know. It's just so specific that it makes me feel weird.
aerogurl87 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Im curious to know how you are aware of the exact phrases he used with his ex gf? Haha I was wondering the same thing.
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 There's a bunch more, and it's so specific. Doesn't every woman want to feel kinda special though? I don't know...
boogieboy Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 No, you think hes thinking of his ex when he is with you. No he is not, he just likes using those phrases and doesnt feel like making up new ones. You need to stop thinking about it. If you want him to use new phrases on you, start making up some new ones and use them around him and see if they rub off.
LovieDove24 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Well you haven't enlightened us with any more examples, but Im gonna go ahead and assume its more than baby, hun, sweetykins, pooh booh boo shmoo. Don't sweat it either way. Unless, of course, you think he may not be over her...in which case you've got a whole nother can of worms entirely.
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Yeah, I think I'm probably worrying for no reason. I know he's happy with me. boogieboy got it right! I'm just reading too much into it.
boogieboy Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Yeah, I think I'm probably worrying for no reason. I know he's happy with me. boogieboy got it right! I'm just reading too much into it. If you can come up with new phrases until you find ones that he likes, you'd be amazed how fast he picks them up and starts using them. How great would that be?
Art_Critic Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Does he tell you he loves you ?... Well.. he probably told his ex that he loved her back when he was in a relationship with her.. It happens.. I don't think you have a thing to worry about.. As long as he isn't using the same PET names then all is good to go..
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 That would be so awesome! Now I've got to think of some! Lol!
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Does he tell you he loves you ?... Well.. he probably told his ex that he loved her back when he was in a relationship with her.. It happens.. I don't think you have a thing to worry about.. As long as he isn't using the same PET names then all is good to go.. Thanks! It's kinda pet namey, but I'll get over it.
threebyfate Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 puresun, I'm with you on this. Can't stand it when the guy only has one repertoire. It makes you feel like you're being fed lines or given a routine.
DollyMix Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Can't stand it when the guy only has one repertoire. It makes you feel like you're being fed lines or given a routine. I'm with you TBF Bf did this once I pointed it out and said don't do it and to my knowledge he hasn't since, been together so long now we've got all our own so I'd def say make your own wouldn't worry about it though I think they genuinely don't notice themselves doing it it's more a him thing than a they thing, also the mine thing is cute! I might pinch that
boogieboy Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 puresun, I'm with you on this. Can't stand it when the guy only has one repertoire. It makes you feel like you're being fed lines or given a routine. Youre always given a routine, some guys are just slicker at it than others. Practice makes perfect
gopher Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 puresun, I'm with you on this. Can't stand it when the guy only has one repertoire. It makes you feel like you're being fed lines or given a routine. Some guys are afraid to deviate from what works...
threebyfate Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I'm with you TBF Bf did this once I pointed it out and said don't do it and to my knowledge he hasn't since, been together so long now we've got all our own so I'd def say make your own wouldn't worry about it though I think they genuinely don't notice themselves doing it it's more a him thing than a they thing, also the mine thing is cute! I might pinch that That's good that you called him on it. Youre always given a routine, some guys are just slicker at it than others. Practice makes perfect Some guys are afraid to deviate from what works... You two are so busted! The best line of them all is "You're my dream girl". Sure, sure darlin', only in your dreams.
CLC2008 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 That's good that you called him on it. You two are so busted! The best line of them all is "You're my dream girl". Sure, sure darlin', only in your dreams. I feel a Debbie Gibson moment coming on... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h2fxAaXN5c
threebyfate Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I feel a Debbie Gibson moment coming on... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h2fxAaXN5c Whoah, total flashback moment and not pleasantly so! See pureson, you're not alone!
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 No, you think hes thinking of his ex when he is with you. No he is not, he just likes using those phrases and doesnt feel like making up new ones. You need to stop thinking about it. If you want him to use new phrases on you, start making up some new ones and use them around him and see if they rub off. this^ Us dudes just get used to saying something one way. I had a 7 year relationship, and many of the phrases I used in that one, carried over to my next one. In NO WAY was I thinking about my last GF, when using them with my new. We just talk the same way when we are happy or in love....has NOTHING to do with the other person specifically. Dont sweat it, its TOTALLY normal and know he is saying those things to you, for you.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 puresun, I'm with you on this. Can't stand it when the guy only has one repertoire. It makes you feel like you're being fed lines or given a routine. its NOT a repertoire. Its habit. Its what we say when we feel a certain way. It has nothing to do with having 'game' or a routine. It has nothing to do with the ex and everything to do with you. I promise you that.
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 It's really good to hear both sides. I really think he doesn't mean anything negative by it, and I was just out with him and considered bringing it up but I didn't. I think as a girl you want to feel special, and this doesn't, but maybe I can deviate his phrases to something else? Should I even say anything to him? I don't want to make him feel like he has to change something that's natural to him because it makes me uncomfortable (although that's a natural part of a relationship in some ways), I just want him to be himself....
Author puresun80 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 puresun, I'm with you on this. Can't stand it when the guy only has one repertoire. It makes you feel like you're being fed lines or given a routine. Yeah, I think that's kinda how it makes me feel. I want to know that he's being genuine, and it's hard to fully believe that when he repeats the same things from before.
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