teanoranges Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I know I will not break NC for a long time, if ever... so why do I still daydream about talking to him? Its really rather annoying. haha. Anyone else ever feel this contradiction?
duskandsummer Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 All the time. Part of you wants to talk to that person, you wouldn't be daydreaming about it if you didn't, you just don't want to be the person to talk first. You want the other person to come looking for you. Or at least in my case that is how it is. I can keep up NC forever if it meant me being the first to talk, but if he comes to me first, if he is the one looking for me I will break NC in a heartbeat. Probably just because I have never been the type of person to ignore someone no matter if I can't stand them or if they did the worse thing they could ever do, if they have something to say I will listen.
jms76 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Everyday! I broke it last night but fortunately she did not answer or return my call. Since I don't know the specifics of your break-up, I think the obvious reason your thoughts drift towards calling him is because it's familiar. You miss his voice, conversations, whatever. If you know you're gonna stick to NC and you do, these feelings will fade in time. No one knows how long it will take, just depends on you. Good luck.
Bulldozed Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I know I won't break nc, but it's tough since my business partners gf is one of my ex's best friends "allegedly". they go back to gradeschool. I always want updates but I restrain myself from asking her....my friends gf thinks she's losing me as a friend, as a result of me not opening up to her about anything. She feels I don't trust her. Frankly, in the words of Caliguy, ignorance is bliss, never trust a mutual friend, especially a woman who is good friends with your exgf. she does tell me that she's pretty much written her off as a friends, since the ex has completely blown her off since we split up. To answer your question, I find myself going over conversations that I'd like to have with her. Express my extreme disappointment in her as to how she mis-handled (as did I) our relationship. I do this to the point where I snap a thick rubberband that's been on my wrist for nearly 2 mths.
twinklecat Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Hey teanoranges, how are you? Don't worry about feeling like this, even when I know my ex is no good for me I still get thoughts like this, and as what others have said I think it's the familiarity of it. It does pass though, be strong and you feel much better x
Author teanoranges Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 I'm positive I won't break it! haha. Its not so much that I'd rather him contact me first, because I already know that's the only way I'd break it. I'm too far along in my process to not respond to him. But some days I feel sooo good, like light is shining through me, and I want to share that love with everyone.. and I do, all but him. And it makes me want to be friends and be there for him, but I also remind myself that it might hurt if things go alright. Like, I know from previous experience that I can deal with someone choosing someone else as better for them than me and I can still be civilized and friends. I just get so scared that we'd have a great conversation and I'd laugh and whatever, but that my feelings could come back... and I'd know that, or think that, I could hurt from it again.. or that I'd talk to him and be so bored of him, I'd be wishing I never tried to be his friend. haha! Its so complicated so that's why I'm just NCing it. I was thinking for a while that he was the only person I could talk to about certain things, but lately I'm going out of my way to converse with people about the things I'd say to him so at least I can still get it all off my head. For now, I'll just send him my positive energy through space.. haha.
twinklecat Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I'm positive I won't break it! haha. Its not so much that I'd rather him contact me first, because I already know that's the only way I'd break it. I'm too far along in my process to not respond to him. But some days I feel sooo good, like light is shining through me, and I want to share that love with everyone.. and I do, all but him. And it makes me want to be friends and be there for him, but I also remind myself that it might hurt if things go alright. Like, I know from previous experience that I can deal with someone choosing someone else as better for them than me and I can still be civilized and friends. I just get so scared that we'd have a great conversation and I'd laugh and whatever, but that my feelings could come back... and I'd know that, or think that, I could hurt from it again.. or that I'd talk to him and be so bored of him, I'd be wishing I never tried to be his friend. haha! Its so complicated so that's why I'm just NCing it. I was thinking for a while that he was the only person I could talk to about certain things, but lately I'm going out of my way to converse with people about the things I'd say to him so at least I can still get it all off my head. For now, I'll just send him my positive energy through space.. haha. I like this! Think I'm gonna think about that (bolded part!) I get how you feel though, some days I'm like bouncing off the walls, other times I'm low and subdued, just wanna be on my own but not kinda thing, tends to be on a night time after work. My ex has contacted me during NC, I've responded as it's been at work (not work related stuff) and even that screws with my head a bit. I have been NC with him something like 9 days, at the stage where I'm feeling slightly lost atm.
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