lora22 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) In an attempt to think more about dating/who I date, and make intelligent decisions based on something more than emotions, I'm analyzing my current situation. I also may not be ready for something serious still, as my last relationship ended badly a few months ago. So I guess that's making me wary. Just started dating someone I met at dodgeball. We've been on a few dates, hit it off really well, haven't hooked up yet. We went out last night and past relationships came up, and this is where I might see a red flag, maybe you all can help me. I'm concerned because his dating past reminds me of my ex's. It's like this: I recently turned 27; he's in his early-to-mid-30s. I've had a few relationships that last longer than a year. He didn't date anyone in particular (translation, he hooked up a lot but didn't have a gf) through most of his 20s. Normally I wouldn't think too much of that, I would just assume he was having fun, focusing on work, and so on. But when he finally started to date...well. As a 28-30 year old he had an on-again-off-again relationship with a girl who was 20-22 (in college). Immediately after they broke up for good he started dating some other girl, but in his words "It just sort of happened." Apparently she was making all the moves and he just went along with it, then realized she was batshyte crazy and spent most of the year+ they dated trying to break up with her!! He's still in contact with both of these ex's, which doesn't really bother me. He seems to wish them well and be on good terms with them, and that's it. What do you make of this? Am I being too judgmental? Edited December 18, 2009 by lora22
meerkat stew Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Just started dating someone I met at dodgeball. We've been on a few dates, hit it off really well, haven't hooked up yet. Sounds like dodgeball is going on more places than in your league. Please consider slowing down, you should both be enjoying each other at this stage, not hashing out old relationships or delving into heavy relationship issues. Try to throttle the heavy stuff way back and to concentrate on fun. The best way to know someone's character is by observing how they treat you... over time. Microanalyzing details of someone's past is counterproductive because you weren't there to see things with your own eyes. Yes lighten up already and have some fun!
Pizzaman81 Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Sounds like dodgeball is going on more places than in your league. Please consider slowing down, you should both be enjoying each other at this stage, not hashing out old relationships or delving into heavy relationship issues. Try to throttle the heavy stuff way back and to concentrate on fun. The best way to know someone's character is by observing how they treat you... over time. Microanalyzing details of someone's past is counterproductive because you weren't there to see things with your own eyes. Yes lighten up already and have some fun! Yes slow down and don't over think too much. I understand that if things like this come up you think about it as a potential red flag. We try to get as many of these as early as possible to avoid getting into a bad relationship. I agree with above poster not to microanalyze, but I would be weary and just pay attention. Do not make any decisions too early! Good luck and don't get hit in the face with the ball
boogieboy Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Theres no red flags with this guy. Nothing is wrong with his past. You shouldnt be talking about past relationships anyway. Go with the flow and enjoy the company. If it works it will work, if it doesnt, it doesnt. You have to take risks in life to get what you really want.
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