ItsAllGoodAgain Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 During and after the break up not once did I ever do or say anything hurtful or negative to this girl. Now I feel like letting it all out. She used me. She fed me full of bull s&*t, allowed me to fall for her and now she can't even reply to a simple e-mail. She can't even say thank you for all I've for her. Well to hell with her. I gave her more than any man could and will ever give her. I bent over backwards to make her and her daughter feel safe and loved. I gave all of me for what...Not even a thank you. I wasted to much time and emotion on this girl. I used to want nothing but the best for this girl. I wanted her to stay strong and continue doing the right thing for her and her daughter. Now I could care less. I feel sorry for her daughter. As far as my ex, f**k her!! I'm done thinking of her and her well being. I'm done wishing and praying for her. She doesn't deserve that from me. I apologize for the rant but I had to let it out...
Simon Attwood Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Sometimes people are so frightened that all they can see is a way out, a way to escape, and they are blind to everything else. They are blind to the hurt and suffering they cause. They are in pure survival mode. They may not appear it, or want to admit it to themselves, but at this stage they are pure animal.
stablesong Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Dude, I feel the same way sometimes. I get annoyed at myself for not completely beefing out at her about everything at the time, and I come close to phoning her or sending her an e-mail or letting certain people know about certain things she did. But the reason I don't is that any emotional outburst or attention would only fuel her ego and let her know that she's had an effect on me. At the end of the relationship she was like 'why aren't you angry?', 'why aren't you shouting at me?' The truth is I didn't have the balls to call her out on everything. Instead I was a bit pathetic for a week and then I shut it all down and cut off all contact. Now I'm glad I did - it allowed me to move on with some dignity still intact. The pull to seek vengeance is still there, but, as long as it is, I won't get over her. You have to forgive her, accept the fact that for all of her flaws, she is who she is, and file it all away as life experience. You're a few steps wiser for the relationship and she's the same. As clichéd as it sounds, living well is the best revenge.
Simon Attwood Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 But the reason I don't is that any emotional outburst or attention would only fuel her ego and let her know that she's had an effect on me. At the end of the relationship she was like 'why aren't you angry?', 'why aren't you shouting at me?' . That is a blatant admission that she was trying to provoke you in to attacking her. That you didn't has nothing to do with having or not having the balls, it just shows that you were able to resist her attempts to manipulate you in to a reaction.
Author ItsAllGoodAgain Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 Maybe she is ashamed and thats why there's no response. Maybe she just doesn't give a damn. Regardless it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not wasting anymore energy and time on this girl. I hope she realizes what she had. I hope she knows that she let go of someone very good. I hear what you're saying. I didn't have the balls to lash out in the beginning. I feared that if I did I would just push her away forever. Well, I didn't and she is still gone forever (not that I mind). I know it would boost her ego if I were to lash out now so I'm not going to. I feel this is part of the process of moving on. Its almost like I've had my rage and now I'm throwing my arms in the air and saying to hell with it.
Simon Attwood Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Maybe she is ashamed and thats why there's no response. Maybe she just doesn't give a damn. Regardless it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not wasting anymore energy and time on this girl. I hope she realizes what she had. I hope she knows that she let go of someone very good. I hear what you're saying. I didn't have the balls to lash out in the beginning. I feared that if I did I would just push her away forever. Well, I didn't and she is still gone forever (not that I mind). I know it would boost her ego if I were to lash out now so I'm not going to. I feel this is part of the process of moving on. Its almost like I've had my rage and now I'm throwing my arms in the air and saying to hell with it. Lose the concept of egos, it's an outdated concept. What you'd be pandering to would be a primitive need for justification. Something that fits in to the pattern or schema that she has in her head. lashing out doesn't take balls, it's a fear response and a sign of weakness
GrayClouds Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Righteous anger is good, just do not let it slip to hate.
Author ItsAllGoodAgain Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 It did take quite a bit of strength not to lash out. I held my tongue because I felt sorry for her. I knew she was going through a tough time and I didn't want to do anything to make it any harder for her so I just walked away. Of course I did plead with her briefly for her not to throw us away. But she did... I've never hated her and I don't hate her now. This is a wave of emotion that happens to be anger and discuss towards her. I have a feeling this will be the last one. I was angry then, now I'm just fed up. I'm done with it.
GrayClouds Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 It did take quite a bit of strength not to lash out. I held my tongue because I felt sorry for her. I knew she was going through a tough time and I didn't want to do anything to make it any harder for her so I just walked away. Of course I did plead with her briefly for her not to throw us away. But she did... I've never hated her and I don't hate her now. This is a wave of emotion that happens to be anger and discuss towards her. I have a feeling this will be the last one. I was angry then, now I'm just fed up. I'm done with it. So on to the next stages!!!!!!! Bargining and Depression, what fun! Ps Never apologies for a good rant here, we enjoy them! .
Simon Attwood Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 It did take quite a bit of strength not to lash out. I held my tongue because I felt sorry for her. I knew she was going through a tough time and I didn't want to do anything to make it any harder for her so I just walked away. Of course I did plead with her briefly for her not to throw us away. But she did... I've never hated her and I don't hate her now. This is a wave of emotion that happens to be anger and discuss towards her. I have a feeling this will be the last one. I was angry then, now I'm just fed up. I'm done with it. In her mind, you didn't try hard enough. That was what it's all about. Women like that need constant affirmation of their worth. Because deep inside they feel worthless and empty.
Recommended Posts