stablesong Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 It's been just over half a year and, rather frustratingly, I'm still not completely past it. I was deeply besotted and she cheated on me with three other guys, manipulated me and lied to me about a lot of things throughout the course of our 8 month relationship. It's clearly for the best that it's in the past... but I just can't seem to shake off the dregs. I don't really know why I'm making a post here. Just getting stuff out of my head I guess. I've been feeling generally great for the last three months. I have a really great life and a lot to occupy me and keep me happy. Probably about once every week or so though I completely break down, in private, and I also still find my thoughts absent-mindedly dipping in and out of memories of her throughout the day. It all hurts so much still - both the painful memories of what she did to me at the end of the relationship (she was seeing someone else behind my back and lying to us both) and the amazing memories of what we had earlier on. I also feel embarrassed that I fell for the person I thought she was without working out what was actually going on or who she actually was. I thought I'd found the perfect girl. I want her out of my head; she's completely out of my life. I want to keep looking to the future and bettering myself. Last contact I had with her was a brief affable e-mail exchange on my birthday in August. She literally has no relevance to anything now. I've got a new job, new flat, new friends, etc. I'm moving to Canada next year. I've been eating a lot healthier, working out, feeling better about the way I look and generally trying to better myself any way I can. I don't talk about her with my friends anymore; it's all just a private thing in my head. I know it's just going to take more time and that I have to continue to focus on myself and look forward to the future. It's just a drag that no matter how hard I scrub, the stain is still there.
Limbo21 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Bless you Stablesong. I've read your post & i can feel your woe. My story is unique so I can't draw many comparisons but that post is really heartfelt & sincere. I love my ex like i've never loved another & I still get upset 4 mnths later. I'd go so far to say I'll never love another again Anyway enough about me, all the best my friend & a merry xmas Richard
GrayClouds Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 It's been just over half a year and, rather frustratingly, I'm still not completely past it. I was deeply besotted and she cheated on me with three other guys, manipulated me and lied to me about a lot of things throughout the course of our 8 month relationship. It's clearly for the best that it's in the past... but I just can't seem to shake off the dregs. I don't really know why I'm making a post here. Just getting stuff out of my head I guess. I've been feeling generally great for the last three months. I have a really great life and a lot to occupy me and keep me happy. Probably about once every week or so though I completely break down, in private, and I also still find my thoughts absent-mindedly dipping in and out of memories of her throughout the day. It all hurts so much still - both the painful memories of what she did to me at the end of the relationship (she was seeing someone else behind my back and lying to us both) and the amazing memories of what we had earlier on. I also feel embarrassed that I fell for the person I thought she was without working out what was actually going on or who she actually was. I thought I'd found the perfect girl. I want her out of my head; she's completely out of my life. I want to keep looking to the future and bettering myself. Last contact I had with her was a brief affable e-mail exchange on my birthday in August. She literally has no relevance to anything now. I've got a new job, new flat, new friends, etc. I'm moving to Canada next year. I've been eating a lot healthier, working out, feeling better about the way I look and generally trying to better myself any way I can. I don't talk about her with my friends anymore; it's all just a private thing in my head. I know it's just going to take more time and that I have to continue to focus on myself and look forward to the future. It's just a drag that no matter how hard I scrub, the stain is still there. A cheater leave a lot of bagged behind that the other has to deal with, it sucks. You may want to talk to someone about possible depression, if it is the case that your in a low grade depression there is a verity of things you can try from over the counter stuff like vitamins and supplements, to counseling, to scripts. Take pride that you are doing the right things, sometime it is just a matter of faking it long enough until it because real.
jms76 Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Stable, I would just like to say I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage for you to be doing all the things you are doing (working out, eating right, living life) while still dealing with this horrific experience. You will move past this...in time. For another person to do what she did to you, tells me one thing. This woman has deep seeded issues. Do not miss the time you had with her. Instead, pity her. I hope your move next year is a good one. Good luck!
Author stablesong Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Thank you Jms76, Best Wishes to you for the New Year too!
xoxo88 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I had times like these too, when both beautiful and ugly memories of my ex hurt. Something that worked for me was thinking about the nasty things he did when i was missing him. When pain is overwhelming you must take it to the extreme, which would be getting back with your ex. Think about this: the pain is so big i wanna get back with my ex. getting back together would probably end my pain. You'll see that this will have a tremendous effect on your emotional state, you instantly start to feel better. When you start feeling a bit better again ask yourself: ok we might get back together. But hey, am i ready too accept that kind of person next to me again? (think about all the sh*t she did to you). The answer will probbaly be HELL NO! Try it at least once. If it doesn't help give it up 'cause it will only bring you much pain otherwise. Best wishes.
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