I want to turn to the dark side, how do I become an A-Hole?

[skydiveaddict]

i guess its just a different standard that men & women use to judge quality in the other person. but if you're a hot looking girl, i think you most certainly have the upper hand

[Knossos]

i guess its just a different standard that men & women use to judge quality in the other person. but if you're a hot looking girl, i think you most certainly have the upper hand

 

True, but this can also apply to a hot looking guy. Hotties rule the world, doncha know?

[xpaperxcutx]

One thing Skydiveaddict wrote struck me and after reading the entire thread from start to finish, I have to comment, " how about giving the girls you don't have initial interest in, a chance?"

 

I think that's the crucial point here. Skydive wrote that the girls he's interested in never reciprocates and then threads such as this one appear where every male that suffers the backlash of the " hot girl" starts jumping down womens' throats. Maybe the problem is that most men are just too focused on the " hot" girl that they don't bother to look around them to actually pinpoint the good qualities in a girl that most men really do want. Instead, of focusing on the superficial ( which most have at this point) change your perspective of the type of women that you find truly attractive.

 

Maybe that's what you need to break the cycle rather than become an arsehole about it.

[skydiveaddict]

good points i must admit but its really not so much about looks. rather the frustratation of seeing the *******s get ALLthe girls, and when you act like a gentleman, like society trains you, then you seem to be left empty handed. at least that's been my experience:sick:

[Anthony_x99]

Why not do both be cocky and funny and suggest being friends, and how good friends, you are going to turn it around.

[FilthMerchant]

They wouldn't allow me to edit as 260 mins had passed (wow!) so...

 

Well , I don't and that is what matters. The men I like are usually intelligent and wouldn't use such reductive phrases. Men on forums seem to be a different species for some reason and loveshack has changed since the first time I flund it a couple of years ago.

The more rules dating is supposed to have , the worse we seem to be. If women don't like you maybe it's because you keep choosing women who aren't you type. Women learn from a young age what type of man would/wouldn't find her attractive. Wny can't men accept it and move on?

 

Men on forums seem to be a different species? Probably because we don't talk openly with how we attract women with women in real life. That's like McCain saying 'Obama sounds different when he talks with his campaign managers than when he talks with me'.

 

Becoming an alpha male doesn't mean becoming an arsehole. It means becoming the best man you can be; developing yourself as an individual mentally and physically (see which word I put first? Not all of us are into buff pretty boys) is the key to evolving into that vaunted superior being.

 

Or, you could just be content as a beta male, and still be a good man with values and intelligence. Is it really necessary to be the first in everything? Unless you're fixated on a sole quest to attain the alpha female, being among the highest echelon in the dating game doesn't mean a damned thing in life. You'll get a trophy wife, trophy kids, and most likely a Christmas newsletter noteworthy lifestyle. If that's your true desire, then go and may the road rise with you. But spend some time pondering just why in the hell you need to have only the best, why you have to be part of the best.

 

Content as a beta male? CONTENT to be LESSER? I don't know if this is some biologically driven *****-test women use to weed out beta males but the number of times women seem to be completely oblivious to male ambition (even some of these women profess to understand men, lol) is ridiculous.

 

Be lesser. Wow. If I had a son that said to me 'why can't I be content to not be the best' I'd slap him in the back of the head and go to sleep crying!

[FilthMerchant]

good points i must admit but its really not so much about looks. rather the frustratation of seeing the *******s get ALLthe girls, and when you act like a gentleman, like society trains you, then you seem to be left empty handed. at least that's been my experience:sick:

 

Society today trains us as if the modern woman acts exactly as did her 18th century counterpart. That is the problem. The training should be 'men lie, cheat and steal. women are even better at it'

[stillafool]

Is that question directed at me?

 

 

No, not you specifically; but to all the men who complain about women who fall for what you guys call a&&holes, jerks.

[stillafool]

So what are those of us guys who are not-so-hot good for? Sloppy seconds? Backups for when women finally want a "relationship guy"? How unfortunate. I think a lot of us feel we have more to offer than that. It's too bad that everything seems to hinge on this power of initial attraction that is so elusive for those of us that otherwise have so many things going for us in life.

 

 

Well there are also women out there who are not on the "hot" list and really want a relationship and marriage. Why not try dating some of those women?

[stillafool]

One thing Skydiveaddict wrote struck me and after reading the entire thread from start to finish, I have to comment, " how about giving the girls you don't have initial interest in, a chance?"

 

I think that's the crucial point here. Skydive wrote that the girls he's interested in never reciprocates and then threads such as this one appear where every male that suffers the backlash of the " hot girl" starts jumping down womens' throats. Maybe the problem is that most men are just too focused on the " hot" girl that they don't bother to look around them to actually pinpoint the good qualities in a girl that most men really do want. Instead, of focusing on the superficial ( which most have at this point) change your perspective of the type of women that you find truly attractive.

 

 

Exactly! Men who complain that they can't get a gf take heed to the above.

 

Maybe that's what you need to break the cycle rather than become an arsehole about it.

[stillafool]

**** in fact the girls i have dated in the past have said " why dont you call me more often, why dont we see each other more?"

 

See, you are blowing off girls here and complaining that you can't get any girls.

[GoodOnPaper]

Well there are also women out there who are not on the "hot" list and really want a relationship and marriage. Why not try dating some of those women?

 

Settling isn't all it's cracked up to be. I thought jumping to an LTR and marriage at first opportunity would make up for my general lack of success when single, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case.

 

The OP wants to somehow bottle that elusive thing called "attraction" because it seems to hold the key to sex and relationship happiness. I can't blame him for that. We all want to be "alpha" males -- at least in our own lives. I agree that anger toward women in general is counterproductive. I agree that men who struggle in attracting women should do some self-examining and discover what specific qualities they truly find attractive in women. However, when you are in panic mode from an excessive dry spell, it's a very fine line between digging deeper than the "hot" list and settling for lesser.

[wheream_i]

Listen, chicks don't want the guy that puts their coat down for her to walk across a puddle of mud. They want the guys who act like they don't give a sh*t about them. I'm kidding but I'm not. There is someone on here, I don't recall who he is but in his signature he has thread about how to treat a woman and keep her coming back (or something to that effect). One of the main "rules" he had in there was something I completely identify with. It said, treat her like crap but tell her you love her.

 

There was a woman I dated that would complain to me constantly that I never treat her with respect and would walk all over her. Yet, she never left. I would tell her I love her just to shut her up and after a couple of years of treating her like garbage, I guess I felt like I owed her at least that much. But I still hardly gave her the time of day. Women, they are strange but lovely creatures.

[threebyfate]

I'm calling out all male members who believe themselves to be physically unattractive. Until you post a real pic of yourself, and yes, there are ways to prove they are you, I say you're all full of crap.

 

More than likely, some of you just need to lose some weight, get into shape, learn how to dress and adjust body language, and most importantly fix your defeatest, bitter, angry, victim/self-entitled attitudes.

[stillafool]

Settling isn't all it's cracked up to be. I thought jumping to an LTR and marriage at first opportunity would make up for my general lack of success when single, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case.

 

The OP wants to somehow bottle that elusive thing called "attraction" because it seems to hold the key to sex and relationship happiness. I can't blame him for that. We all want to be "alpha" males -- at least in our own lives. I agree that anger toward women in general is counterproductive. I agree that men who struggle in attracting women should do some self-examining and discover what specific qualities they truly find attractive in women. However, when you are in panic mode from an excessive dry spell, it's a very fine line between digging deeper than the "hot" list and settling for lesser.

 

 

Well, there is also an old saying "Get in where you fit in" and that seems to be the problem here. People want what they can't get and complain that they have no one to sleep with at night.

[wheream_i]

I love this one!

 

 

Take your heart out of the equation when dealing with women. You need to treat them as toys who can easily be replaced if they start acting up. Women tend to swoon over men that treat them that way.

[PJKino]

Well, there is also an old saying "Get in where you fit in" and that seems to be the problem here. People want what they can't get and complain that they have no one to sleep with at night.

 

I admit that if im incapable of getting a women im physically attracted to at all id rather be alone the rest of my life..

[v g]

I admit that if im incapable of getting a women im physically attracted to at all id rather be alone the rest of my life..

 

I feel the same way about men. Here's the difference, though. I can meet a physically unattractive man and end up becoming attracted to him physically. Depends on whether we click, if I feel good about myself when I'm with him, if he has passions in his life, etc.

[PJKino]

I feel the same way about men. Here's the difference, though. I can meet a physically unattractive man and end up becoming attracted to him physically. Depends on whether we click, if I feel good about myself when I'm with him, if he has passions in his life, etc.

 

I cant..

 

Dont get me wrong im not looking for a model but i cant be with somebody i have zero physical attraction for..

[james123]

I admit that if im incapable of getting a women im physically attracted to at all id rather be alone the rest of my life..

 

yes, there should be some attraction at least...

[Peaceful Guy]

After my latest "lets be friends" incident I've decided enough is enough. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I've decided to dedicate myself to becoming a jerk, an A-Hole.

 

OK I need advice here from any A-Hole reading this. What is it you do that gets you layed and kept out of the "friend-zone"?

 

Please list all tips/advice on this thread for how to become the A-Hole of a woman's dreams. The "real man" she truly desires. The "Alpha male". And also list things NOT to do with women that would make them see you as the "Beta male".

 

I want DETAILS. I wanna know what to say, how poorly to treat them, etc.

 

I'm sick of being the nice guy who gets nothing but spit on. Time for me to do some spitting of my own.

 

hahahhhahhaahhahahhahha.. your ****ed buddy!

[v g]

I cant..

 

Dont get me wrong im not looking for a model but i cant be with somebody i have zero physical attraction for..

 

Have you ever met a stunning woman that was a 10 and the more you talked with her, the more unattractive she became?

 

Have you ever met a woman that was perhaps a 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 and the more you talked with her, the more attractive she became?

[Stockalone]

No, not you specifically; but to all the men who complain about women who fall for what you guys call a&&holes, jerks.

 

Did you ever think that perhaps it isn't that women consciously seek what you would call an a&&hole type of guy? That women, like men, cannot help who they are attracted to, who they have chemistry with and who they are sexually attracted to. Just like when a guy sees a beautiful girl and she wants to get to know him also. He isn't going to not go out with her because he thinks that maybe this girl is a heartbreaker. No, he's going to go out with her, get to know her, sleep with her and then he may find out she's a heartbreaker; but by then it's too late because your heart is involved. It works the same way for women with men. These guys are hot and that is the first thing women see.

 

I don't think that women want an @sshole type of guy. Most jerks don't wear a neon sign around their neck that says "I am a jerk/player/@sshole and I treat women like sh*t."

 

I also don't think that women fall for jerks because they like being treated like sh*t. Women fall for them because they notice them, jerks stand out (either because of their looks, or charm, or money, or confidence, etc.). At first, many of them are not different than the normal, confident guy women want. Most people (men and women) are normal (not a jerk, not crazy, and not a doormat) and they also want someone who is normal as a partner.

 

The real difference is the jerk is being dishonest, and he cares very little about the women he dates. That gives him an advantage because he can manipulate some women who actually care about him.

 

Jerks get a woman but they usually can't keep her once the woman figures out that what she thinks is a good guy is in fact a jerk.

 

Men tend to forget that little detail. I can even understand the appeal of wanting to become a jerk. It is easy to think you'd be able to keep a woman if she would just notice you. Becoming a jerk (at the beginning) would get you noticed and then you could stop being a jerk and keep the woman interested in the real you. I don't think it works that way. But plenty of men hope that it does.

 

 

Oh and trying to be a faux player never works because women can see that a mile away. Real players don't play that is who they are and you can tell the difference. They aren't proud of it and try to hide it. They don't call girls back because they really do have other things to do they aren't playing games. I like what the one poster said who suggested guys stop chasing women for a while and improve yourself and develop hobbies. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a guy who is busy doing what he loves.

 

Maybe if a woman is already attracted to him. She is not going to be attracted if there is nothing else that interests her.

 

The original (a player) will always be more coveted than a copy. But a good forgery can still fool the untrained eye. That is what the jerks are hoping for.

 

 

Well there are also women out there who are not on the "hot" list and really want a relationship and marriage. Why not try dating some of those women?

 

You really can't have it both ways. Saying that women notice and go for hot men and at the same time men should be looking for women who aren't on the "hot" list.

 

However, it's not as simple as that anyway. We like the people we like, we all want a partner we are attracted to (physically and emotionally). But beauty really lies in the eyes of the beholder. I know I usually have a different taste than my friends and they (as a group) don't always agree on who is hot or not, either. People have different types and different preferences.

 

For most men, the initial attraction is physical. Which isn't surprising. When you have only looks to go by at first, you approach the women who you think look good. And then you hope that your personalities will mesh.

 

It makes no sense to approach a woman whose looks you don't like at all in the hopes that you will like her personality.

 

And I don't think that this process is really different for women. Maybe women put a little less emphasis on a guy's looks, but women certainly value looks too. I really don't buy it that women can become attracted to a man they think is physically unattractive.

 

 

Exactly! Men who complain that they can't get a gf take heed to the above.

 

Maybe that's what you need to break the cycle rather than become an arsehole about it.

 

Men and women go for what they are attracted to. That said, people can be attractive but you simply aren't attracted to them.

 

And I agree, when that happens, it's no reason to become an @sshole. But I am not sure if dating people you aren't attracted to is going to work.

 

 

Well, there is also an old saying "Get in where you fit in" and that seems to be the problem here. People want what they can't get and complain that they have no one to sleep with at night.

 

That pretty much sums it up. To be fair though, both genders do that. There are plenty of women who complain about always being approached by the wrong type of men.

 

I also believe that the whining and venting online is a lot worse than in real life. I could be wrong though but for me that is the case. We even have a rent section for it, blaming the other gender for our own short-comings is not nice and it is unfair.

 

 

I'm calling out all male members who believe themselves to be physically unattractive. Until you post a real pic of yourself, and yes, there are ways to prove they are you, I say you're all full of crap.

 

More than likely, some of you just need to lose some weight, get into shape, learn how to dress and adjust body language, and most importantly fix your defeatest, bitter, angry, victim/self-entitled attitudes.

 

I don't disagree. It still is a tall order though.

 

Getting into shape is a valid request. Fixing the attitude is difficult but probably doable.

 

Body language would require someone to tell you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing instead. The same goes for learning how to dress. Besides, is it really that important, how you dress?

[PJKino]

Have you ever met a stunning woman that was a 10 and the more you talked with her, the more unattractive she became?

 

Have you ever met a woman that was perhaps a 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 and the more you talked with her, the more attractive she became?

 

Of course, but i need some attraction physically

 

I can easily date a 6 or 7 all i want is for me to at least think shes cute but if theyres nothing about her facially that i can even imagine making out with her then its not gonna happen..

[threebyfate]

Body language would require someone to tell you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing instead.

Not necessarily. You can take movies and stills of yourself. Whether someone can be objective about themselves, is individual reliant.

 

More than likely, the body language will happen, once the rest fall in place.

 

The same goes for learning how to dress. Besides, is it really that important, how you dress?

It's less about importance and more about enhancing your natural look. For example, when women dress, many of us dress to suit our body shapes, enhancing our positive attributes so it draws the eye away from the negative ones.