Miko Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Be a FUN jerk. And primarily only in a fun way, otherwise you actually ARE a jerk which no one including women like & me & everyone I know. Like, instead of being a sappy puppy dog, be the dog that bites a little to play but not to draw blood. You could actually bite her I guess, that's fun. KNOW when enough is enough b/c it gets annoying and you have to have normal conversation once in a while, less early on though, more biting
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 How odd it is that the people who talk so much about how rotten women are that a rare one isn't worth waiting for, yet never examine the implication of premeditated shedding of their personal code just to get laid by people they think so little of. You will alter who you are and how you thought was best to behave, just to swap body fluids with people you consider to be trash? Sleep with the hounds and you get fleas. Then one day you meet "one of the rare good ones" and expect her to let you give her those fleas too?
skydiveaddict Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 thanks miko, but i'm just fed up. i think i'm gonna stick w/ the a..hole idea
Woggle Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 How odd it is that the people who talk so much about how rotten women are that a rare one isn't worth waiting for, yet never examine the implication of premeditated shedding of their personal code just to get laid by people they think so little of. You will alter who you are and how you thought was best to behave, just to swap body fluids with people you consider to be trash? Sleep with the hounds and you get fleas. Then one day you meet "one of the rare good ones" and expect her to let you give her those fleas too? I wasn't altering who I was in order to swap bodily fluids. I had simply changed because I was sick of being the doormat. I am a very different person today than I was before my divorce and while I would rather be dead than be the man I was back then I wish I had an easier balancing my newfound spine with being a loving husband. It is a very hard thing to do.
Miko Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 thanks miko, but i'm just fed up. i think i'm gonna stick w/ the a..hole idea Dude, that IS the a-hole idea, it's not really an a-hole idea, it's a fun idea it just so happens that being an a-hole is fun for both of you, b/c you get to say **** you wouldn't be comfortable saying otherwise and you both get to enjoy being uncomfortable. LOL, just use brat, bad girl, i hate you so much right now, we're through, this ain't gonna work out, I'm telling your mother about this, and "sex kitten" where appropriate
skydiveaddict Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 and btw miko, i'm 6' 1" tall, 185 lbs, work out 5 days a week, climb wind turbines for a living and really not bad looking. i just dont get it
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I wasn't altering who I was in order to swap bodily fluids. I had simply changed because I was sick of being the doormat. I am a very different person today than I was before my divorce and while I would rather be dead than be the man I was back then I wish I had an easier balancing my newfound spine with being a loving husband. It is a very hard thing to do. I don't think what I put in my post can be directed at you woggle. Choosing to be an unscrupulous jerk is a bit different from becoming a warped hatemonger through a mental breakdown. YOU need professional help. Some of what you've said your mother did to you qualifies you as a victim of sexual abuse by her hand. Get help. Get help. Get help. Others in this thread are just lacking fortitude and ethics. Too permissive parenting plus too easy access to unrealistic porn and a few perfectly normal failed attempts at relationships have left them behaving like angry over grown children. That isn't helping them in anyway, but they won't own up to it now. It would kill the little club they've got going. A few others are probably just socially awkward rather than "too nice" and that is getting in the way for them. In my early twenties I did notice a tension build up in male friends that had yet to loose their virginity. Once they did, they relaxed enough to let nature and chemistry work for them.
Miko Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I don't get it either, I'm not. But the last 5 or 10 years I made close friends that are awesome with women and fun and you know what, they're just fun. They don't give much of a $hit b/c they're having fun & say funny slightly ballsy crap and use "lines" that they made up along the way so they're not being fake fake per se. I mean, my one friend, said to our friend, a hot girl when she mentioned her new shoes said "they're hot, I'd nail you in 'em" with a straight face & proceeded to talk about something else, but he was joking & really isn't a dickhead at all. You can say **** that mom wouldn't approve of if it's just for fun, probably not worse than what some other guy said to her at one point but he was looking at her like a stalker when he said it instead.
skydiveaddict Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 yo miko, i think i'm just gonna stick w/ the REAL a..hole idea i might give your way a shot though in the furture i'll let you know what happens bro
Woggle Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Sure my circumstances are much more severe but I think the common theme in this thread is men who feel they have been used and abused by a woman one too many times and now want to change it. Believe it or not I am trying to help these guys. What my father said to me the other day is sort of sticking with me. I think these guys just need to learn how to say no the minute a woman starts mistreating them and maybe need to start dating a diffferent caliber of women. They are the make version of those women who sit around in a circle talking about how men are pigs when they date the same kind of man over and over again.
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Sure my circumstances are much more severe but I think the common theme in this thread is men who feel they have been used and abused by a woman one too many times and now want to change it. Believe it or not I am trying to help these guys. What my father said to me the other day is sort of sticking with me. I think these guys just need to learn how to say no the minute a woman starts mistreating them and maybe need to start dating a diffferent caliber of women. They are the make version of those women who sit around in a circle talking about how men are pigs when they date the same kind of man over and over again. The fact that your circumstances ARE more severe is why you can't really give them help. None of them have experienced something as damaging as what you've shared on here and none of it was by a woman so intrinsic to them as a mother would be. You are giving them advise from your belly of hate and fear while they're just mewling over an immature girl who acted immature. That isn't being abused. And it certainly isn't just an experience for guys. The immature girl doesn't deserve your belly of hate and fear for simply being a young person. All that is just a rite of passage in our fumbling youth. We think we're unstoppable in our teens so be bounce around tripping each other up. It gives us our sense of empathy and humility if we have half way decent morals. We learn from our own disappointment how to not be disappointing. These guys are just crying over it right now but they will figure it out eventually. They certainly won't be helped by you because your advise is overkill.
skydiveaddict Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 dude i wasnt trying to insult you i'm just saying that i've seen people go through divorce and it was pure hell for them
ADF Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I don't think you need to become a jerk. I think you just need to get it through your head that women don't owe it to you to like you just because you think you're such a "nice" guy. A lot of "nice" guys think they're losing out because they don't act like jerks. Not true. They lose out because they're not "nice" by nature, but "nice" because they hope it will get them laid. Most women can tell the difference between a genuinely kind-hearted guy and one who is putting up a good-guy front. They're probably seeing through you.
skydiveaddict Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 i've been told too many times by too many people what a "nice guy" i am for it not to be true. and it's not really about getting laid. it's more about the dishonesty among women who say they want a "nice guy" when that's not really not true at all
Boundary Problem Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I don't think you need to become a jerk. I think you just need to get it through your head that women don't owe it to you to like you just because you think you're such a "nice" guy. A lot of "nice" guys think they're losing out because they don't act like jerks. Not true. They lose out because they're not "nice" by nature, but "nice" because they hope it will get them laid. Most women can tell the difference between a genuinely kind-hearted guy and one who is putting up a good-guy front. They're probably seeing through you. As a woman, I agree with this. Often the guys who think they are "good men" are actually not good for their spouse, ie don't listen, don't show respect etc And the guys who are the "a**holes" are often the nicest people underneath their facade. Just takes a couple years to get them to drop their guard with you. All I'm saying is that us women - yes, with time, we can see right through you. And we aren't looking for "surface nice guy". We are looking for a very rugged guy, who secretly is really good to us.
v g Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) i've been told too many times by too many people what a "nice guy" i am for it not to be true. and it's not really about getting laid. it's more about the dishonesty among women who say they want a "nice guy" when that's not really not true at all I'm a woman, and I want a nice guy. Who wouldn't want a nice guy that is confident and reliable and kind and romantic and thoughtful, etc., etc.? When I occasionally get down about being single, a friend will remind me that I can stop being single any time I want, that I only have to lower my standards. But it's important to me that he be a nice, attractive man that treats me well. IMO if you do it for her, it doesn't matter whether you are a 'nice guy' or an 'a-hole.' Hopefully you are being your genuine self. Edited December 20, 2009 by v g
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 i've been told too many times by too many people what a "nice guy" i am for it not to be true. and it's not really about getting laid. it's more about the dishonesty among women who say they want a "nice guy" when that's not really not true at all "Nice Guy" is also the polite term we use for guys who are socially whining about their lack of response in the dating world. "Ohhh me, no girl will date me! What is it about me that makes them flee?" "Heh heh, I just cant imagine; you seem like a nice guy to me" (while inching away from the person) I can't really tell you whats up dude. Maybe you are a nice guy but you come off creepy or unhinged in person. Maybe you have horrible halitosis. Maybe you have a habit of scratching your butt crack and absent mindedly sniffing your fingers (actually met a guy who did this). Maybe you often leave your jean wet in the washing machine before drying them giving them a faint urine smell or your shoes smell oddly like you've been hiking through wild leeks........
TheWatcher Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 "Nice Guy" is also the polite term we use for guys who are socially whining about their lack of response in the dating world. Just because he "whines" on a message forum doesn't necessarily mean that he does the same thing in real life.So,maybe that isn't related to his lack of response. ....Maybe you are a nice guy but you come off creepy or unhinged in person Generally speaking,women are easily creeped out and are very quick to find certain behaviours unsettling.For the most part,if you're a quiet & introverted guy women will be repelled by you.Women will view you as the creepy guy if you're not a high-energy individual who smiles often,laughs a lot,has a good sense of humour and is verbally expressive.
stillafool Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Again with all this jealousy for "bad boys, players, a&&holes, jerks" and the women they attract. If you guys find them to be so horrible why are you trying to be like them, date the same women they date, and try to act the way they act? Why do you want the women they attract? Why don't you guys who can't get a gf stop looking for a "hot" girl who apparently only wants a "hot" guy (who you guys call *********s because they are hot) and instead look for a homely type girl and maybe she will be faithful and appreciative. Another suggestion would be to give up on women all together as it seems nothing can make some of you happy. Have you guys thought of moving to Utah?
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Just because he "whines" on a message forum doesn't necessarily mean that he does the same thing in real life.So,maybe that isn't related to his lack of response. Generally speaking,women are easily creeped out and are very quick to find certain behaviours unsettling.For the most part,if you're a quiet & introverted guy women will be repelled by you.Women will view you as the creepy guy if you're not a high-energy individual who smiles often,laughs a lot,has a good sense of humour and is verbally expressive. Its page 9 in a thread about a topic that has been discussed to death on this forum. NOTHING anyone offers these guys in the way of advise is allowed to stand. All they (and you) do is shoot holes is every post that isn't a rant about how horrible and demanding women are and how unfair it is that one can't be had when you want. No matter what gets offered up, it is the fault of the female gender and never something intrinsic to the guy doing all the complaining. Can't get a girl and can't stop complaining on a forum about it, but I'm suppose to believe they DON'T whine in real life?
TheWatcher Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 No matter what gets offered up, it is the fault of the female gender and never something intrinsic to the guy doing all the complaining. I didn't mean to imply that it's the female gender's fault that many men have trouble meeting women.Their difficulty in attracting the opposite sex could definitely be intrinsically based. Not to get too personal,but I am very unsuccessful with women but I, in no way blame them or anyone for my lack of success. I recognize the deficiencies in my personality and my qualities/ behaviours that women find unattractive and make them uncomfortable in my presence. Perhaps a lot men have not looked to themselves closely enough and are too busy assigning blame.
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I didn't mean to imply that it's the female gender's fault that many men have trouble meeting women.Their difficulty in attracting the opposite sex could definitely be intrinsically based. Not to get too personal,but I am very unsuccessful with women but I, in no way blame them or anyone for my lack of success. I recognize the deficiencies in my personality and my qualities/ behaviours that women find unattractive and make them uncomfortable in my presence. Perhaps a lot men have not looked to themselves closely enough and are too busy assigning blame. That is what I'm wondering because the men in my social circle that are successful with women don't often pass judgments on others regardless of gender, but the ones who are not successful do speak about women in negatives and vocalize judgment about them in general while never doing any self examination or even noticing when men do the same thing they disapprove of in women.
Woggle Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 That is what I'm wondering because the men in my social circle that are successful with women don't often pass judgments on others regardless of gender, but the ones who are not successful do speak about women in negatives and vocalize judgment about them in general while never doing any self examination or even noticing when men do the same thing they disapprove of in women. Don't many women do the same exact thing. After dealing with so much drama it is hard for a man not to notice a pattern with women sometimes.
sally4sara Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Don't many women do the same exact thing. After dealing with so much drama it is hard for a man not to notice a pattern with women sometimes. If many women do the same, it would not surprise me if they have same struggles in the dating world. Wake up woggle, when I take part in these discussions, I'm hoping to help others see themselves and their actions (they can be of any gender - I really dont' care) in a different light rather than paint one gender as better than the other. That is your job apparently.
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