Pentel Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 i mean, if she loved me, why would she do that? i love something i can't have... what i love so much, it should NEVER hurt this much, i was heading home today, and i felt this rush to just crash and die... i've been feeling this everytime it happens, i know its not sane, i know its not good... i just want to forget her... she is soooo bad for me... this feelings comes and goes... it suddenly hits me so hard... this feeling i have... it doesn't feel right... she was my life... i don't want anything with her ever again... even do i still covet it... i know we won't be compatible... but why don't i stop caring for her... why don't i stop loving her? she has damaged me beyond believe, i don't think my scars will ever heal... i'm suffering while she is having the fun of her life with other people... i am trying all my best to keep NC, it has just been a day, and its soo hard... she was my dream girl, now i will give my dreams up... cause nothing's ever what it seems... she was a fantazy, now im back to reality, this is where i have to be... im on an ever-ending fall.. she is my gravity... i got to grow my wings so i can get away from her... so that i can stop falling... it's just so hard... i still love her so much... i will still give anything for her... but i know it isn't right...i know i deserve so much better... but it just feels right with her... it feels like its meant to be... even when everything is against it... even when she has damaged me so bad... what i love so much should never hurt this much.... ...right?
Author Pentel Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 quoting linkin park: wasted it all just to watch you go... what was meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when i tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end... it doesn't even matter i've put my trust in you... pushed as far as i can go.. for all this there's only one thing you should know...
tVII Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 i know that its hard but take it as this: people change. even her. sorry take this as the sign to make a step to move on now. let go of hope. hard but hey, we have to do it.
Author Pentel Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 i just wonder if she thinks of me as much as i think of her...
GrayClouds Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 i just wonder if she thinks of me as much as i think of her... No she doesn't. So get back at her stop thinking of her at all. Remember she was not perfect, her farts smelled bad too.
grfins Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I literally know exactly how you feel. I wish it didnt hurt so much either. At least it comes and goes now and is not 24/7. I feel as if you are in my head as I could have wrote this with the emotions I have had today. I felt better a month ago but keep on slipping back to what you are feeling. It is incredibly painful. Most cant relate( with the exception of us here on LS) to the pain we feel and I couldn't either until I am now experiencing it. I have a new disrepect for someone who carelessly, shamelessly, and selfishly puts another person through this heartache and anguish. Thankfully hope is gone but the love and caring and anger still remain. I hope it fades with time my friend. I feel your pain.
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