FeelingLonely98 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 I am feeling happier than I have in a long time. I have known for weeks that I deserve better than my STBXW and that I would never take her back. I wish her the best and hope and pray for her happiness. In some ways I thank her because I am going to be happier for the rest of my life than I ever could have with her. AND, with her I thought I was super happy. I can say LS, my sisters and Mom, my church, and my IC have all helped me get here faster than I ever would have on my own. ALSO, I put a lot of effort into working on ME and didn't just wait for it to happen. It's an exhilirating feeling. It is still unfathomable how my STBXW did this to me. If she really was unhappy for so long why not tell me. (FL98 scratched head...) I now have a GF who is absolutely amazing and gorgeous and 1000% supportive of me and my situation. I guess I needed to go through like 1/2 a year of pain to get here. It was worth it. You ALL deserve this as well and you WILL get here. I am going to take a break from LS for a while to focus even more on me. But I'll be back to give some updates and to pay forward the help I got. PEACE!
curiou Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 You just made my day! Such great outlook. Good for you. I'm glad you were actively able to work on yourself and burst out of this dark time! You are the man. Bravo for taking charge.
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 it is a great outlook but do you think you're so happy and positive only because you now have someone else. How long did you wait until you met the new girl?
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 it is a great outlook but do you think you're so happy and positive only because you now have someone else. How long did you wait until you met the new girl? When I filed for D in October --- I KNEW. My happiness is a combination of many things, the GF being one of them. I discovered months ago another person is not needed to make ME happy. I discovered that within my soul and all by myself. I started to love FL98 for the first time in my life.
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 When I filed for D in October --- I KNEW. My happiness is a combination of many things, the GF being one of them. I discovered months ago another person is not needed to make ME happy. I discovered that within my soul and all by myself. I started to love FL98 for the first time in my life. I'm not trying to be mean, but you've been alone a few months and are already in a new relationship so I see your happiness coming from being with someone new. It's very painful to be left, I was left also. But I stayed single two years to discover who I was. And even then, I was looking for my happiness in others. I have no doubt you soul searched, but the blow from being left is easier when you have someone new Either way, I'm glad u are happy
hopesndreams Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 When something sounds to good to be true, it probably is. This isn't the end for you, it is only the beginning. Enjoy the distraction for what it is and be careful someone doesn't get hurt. Other than that, you're on your way. Good job.
trippi1432 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 I am feeling happier than I have in a long time. I have known for weeks that I deserve better than my STBXW and that I would never take her back. I wish her the best and hope and pray for her happiness. In some ways I thank her because I am going to be happier for the rest of my life than I ever could have with her. AND, with her I thought I was super happy. I can say LS, my sisters and Mom, my church, and my IC have all helped me get here faster than I ever would have on my own. ALSO, I put a lot of effort into working on ME and didn't just wait for it to happen. It's an exhilirating feeling. It is still unfathomable how my STBXW did this to me. If she really was unhappy for so long why not tell me. (FL98 scratched head...) I now have a GF who is absolutely amazing and gorgeous and 1000% supportive of me and my situation. I guess I needed to go through like 1/2 a year of pain to get here. It was worth it. You ALL deserve this as well and you WILL get here. I am going to take a break from LS for a while to focus even more on me. But I'll be back to give some updates and to pay forward the help I got. PEACE! FL98, martini glass to you!! You will go thru alot of emotions on the path back to you...we are here if you need us...good luck!
2.50 a gallon Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 FL98 I am happy for you. The new lady must be really special. Please be careful. I am curious how you are able to trust again so quickly. That was my biggest issue, although I didn't realize it at the time. Actually I was afraid of ever being this hurt again My GF's and I relationship is proof that rebound relationships can work. She was only 3 months out of having broke up with her long term BF. The key to making it work was taking it slow. No presssure, just let it happen.
Cranialrupture Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 FL98 I am so happy for you!!!! I am right there with you. Hells ya. :):):):)
nobmagnet Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 wooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooo im so happy for you! what a lovely thing to read first thing in the morning. have a fantatic crimble and a barand new you new year good riddance to 2009 hugs
GorillaTheater Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 I wish you all the best, my friend. Please do come back to let us know how things are going, and Merry Christmas.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Great to hear you have moved on and are feeling happier It's really good to see some positive stories on LS, thank you for sharing
sumdude Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Excellent!! Enjoy living in the moment! Just be a bit wary of rebound relationship just in case.
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Thank you all - I appreciate the advice from all to be cautious. It's going well with the new gf, I haven't felt this happy since I don't know when. Good thing is she wants to take it slow as well. She really likes me and wouldn't to move it to fast. The holidays won't suck for me this year after all!!! Though I was heartbroken this past Summer, I feel it was all for a reason (the bigger picture?) and I will be better off in the long run. PEACE!
floridapad Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Good job FL98. I could tell you were getting a little happier before you met her, albeit there was still a bit of confusion and anger. Guard your heart with this new one and please take it very slowly. Keep up with your new brothers at the church. My fear is that if you put too much of your emotional energy into one person (especially opposite sex), you may be setting yourself up to want more when she has said she wants to take it slowly. Don't forget about your life outside of this new GF in case things don't ultimately pan out. But for now, enjoy your new found happiness with yourself and new GF. That is awesome.
Angel1111 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I am so happy to hear this! A new person in your life, a new perspective. Please come back when you're ready and let us know how you're doing. Merry Christmas, FL98!
imagine Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Hi Feelinglonely, Your wife's sudden disappearance has a soap opera quality about it. I am happy that transfer of your concern to another woman allows you to escape your wife's betrayal. I am sad for her decisions. I would like to know how her path pans out. Please do not follow her path. Keeping check would arrest your present lady relationship and bring you future heart ache.
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 I am sad for her decisions. I would like to know how her path pans out. If I find out where she is and how all this played out for her I will share as appropriate. Please do not follow her path. Keeping check would arrest your present lady relationship and bring you future heart ache. I am not in contact and don't plan to be. Her son (my stepson) lives with me and sometimes says a little about how she's doing but other than that I probably won't know much of anything. Probably for the best, eh?
2.50 a gallon Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 FL98 I was wondering if her son was still in the picture. That means the XW knows about your new lady. The reason I bring this up is sometimes when the WAW discovers her XH has a new squeeze they want to come back and reclaim what they threw away. Do not underestimate the power the XW still has over you, especially with a monsoon of crockodile tears. XW's can play havoc with a new relationship in ways you never thought of. A buddy of mine, had a WAW, D, living with and making plans to marry the OM, when the kids came home from their weekend visit with him, and informed the WAW that daddy had a new friend and they were kissing. She kicked the OM out that night and went on a mission to get her H back. She went crazy, even so far as to stalk his new GF. Expect the unexpected when you least expect it. Gallon
Aksion Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 FL98 I was wondering if her son was still in the picture. That means the XW knows about your new lady. The reason I bring this up is sometimes when the WAW discovers her XH has a new squeeze they want to come back and reclaim what they threw away. Do not underestimate the power the XW still has over you, especially with a monsoon of crockodile tears. XW's can play havoc with a new relationship in ways you never thought of. A buddy of mine, had a WAW, D, living with and making plans to marry the OM, when the kids came home from their weekend visit with him, and informed the WAW that daddy had a new friend and they were kissing. She kicked the OM out that night and went on a mission to get her H back. She went crazy, even so far as to stalk his new GF. Expect the unexpected when you least expect it. Gallon I have to wonder if this is how my stbxw is feeling. She somehow caught wind of me seeing someone else for a brief time a little over a month ago and the texts/calls/e-mails came flooding in until our huge fight. She still calls/texts but that will soon change when I get my number changed. Though her calls/texts make no sense. They are all about her. How I ruined our marriage, or how I shouldn't be seeing other people while we are still married, yet she doesn't want to be with me. Its all quite confusing. FL -- ****ing awesome bro. I hope I too can get my head straight an ***** together someday soon and move on the way you are.
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Angel1111 and Aksion - TY so much for your kind words. Happy Holidays to all. FL98 I was wondering if her son was still in the picture. That means the XW knows about your new lady. The reason I bring this up is sometimes when the WAW discovers her XH has a new squeeze they want to come back and reclaim what they threw away. Do not underestimate the power the XW still has over you, especially with a monsoon of crockodile tears. XW's can play havoc with a new relationship in ways you never thought of. A buddy of mine, had a WAW, D, living with and making plans to marry the OM, when the kids came home from their weekend visit with him, and informed the WAW that daddy had a new friend and they were kissing. She kicked the OM out that night and went on a mission to get her H back. She went crazy, even so far as to stalk his new GF. Expect the unexpected when you least expect it. Gallon Gallon, - YES, STBXW's son is still living with me. He knows of the gf. But they've never met. However she will come over on Christmas afternoon when my family is all at my house - including my step-son. So they will meet then. Weird that he will wake up in MY house Christmas morning - not at Moms who lives 8 miles away or Dads who live 24 miles away. I'm happy to give him this environment while he needs it. He will always be part of my family. I will be very wary of what you described Gallon. "Expect the unexpected ..." Thanks!!
phineas Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Yeah, my friends STBXW left him & filed for divorce, tried to stop it & delayed it far longer than needed. Then she started stalking his new GF. driving by her house very slowly, following her. ect. She would go into these rages & break stuff. The New GF was scared spitless. A woman friend stopped by a few months back & my STBXW called the house like 5 times for stupid stuff. She must have seen the strange car in my driveway. She is still with the OM yet tells me she isn't & expects me to believe her. She tries to find out if i'm dateing someone all the time also which makes no sense to me because she was so "in love" with OM she conducted a 3 yr affair with him. If by the off-chance I decide I want to date someone I know she will make trouble for me. Numerous times I was sitting on my back porch over the warmer months & saw her drive past my road a couple times after she got out of work on days I didn't have the kids. Messed up.
karnak Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Yeah, my friends STBXW left him & filed for divorce, tried to stop it & delayed it far longer than needed. Then she started stalking his new GF. driving by her house very slowly, following her. ect. She would go into these rages & break stuff. The New GF was scared spitless. A woman friend stopped by a few months back & my STBXW called the house like 5 times for stupid stuff. She must have seen the strange car in my driveway. She is still with the OM yet tells me she isn't & expects me to believe her. She tries to find out if i'm dateing someone all the time also which makes no sense to me because she was so "in love" with OM she conducted a 3 yr affair with him. If by the off-chance I decide I want to date someone I know she will make trouble for me. Numerous times I was sitting on my back porch over the warmer months & saw her drive past my road a couple times after she got out of work on days I didn't have the kids. Messed up. Really messed up.
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Yeah, my friends STBXW left him & filed for divorce, tried to stop it & delayed it far longer than needed. Then she started stalking his new GF. driving by her house very slowly, following her. ect. She would go into these rages & break stuff. The New GF was scared spitless. A woman friend stopped by a few months back & my STBXW called the house like 5 times for stupid stuff. She must have seen the strange car in my driveway. She is still with the OM yet tells me she isn't & expects me to believe her. She tries to find out if i'm dateing someone all the time also which makes no sense to me because she was so "in love" with OM she conducted a 3 yr affair with him. If by the off-chance I decide I want to date someone I know she will make trouble for me. Numerous times I was sitting on my back porch over the warmer months & saw her drive past my road a couple times after she got out of work on days I didn't have the kids. Messed up. Wow - Kinda scary sh*t there. I can't see mt STBXW acting as such but then again I never expected her this past Summer to run off with a little boy 29 years her junior either!!! My STBXW should not really know much anymore about my personal life ... the only link is her son (my step-son who STILL lives with ME - and I will never ask him to leave - I've told him he can live with me as long as he needs; he's 20). I do limit my discussions with him about my new gf. And I have zero contact with the STBXW. PEACE!
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 your a star. I hope you have a fantastic crimble. Sounds so exciting andyou are a smashing chap to be the loving dad you have always been to your step-son. Hey hope santa gives you a massive prezzie as you deserve it xxxxx
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