LonelyGuy85 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I have suspected that i have been depressed for a while now. I thought that eventually i would stop feeling this way but it hasn't happened. I havent' seen a doctor yet, and that annoys me, but it's something i need to do. However recently i noticed that i seems to drink a lot, every night. I go swimming after work every night, but then i go home and drink enough Whisky so that i can sleep. I should mention that i don't sleep much and when i do it involves the most heinous nightmares. Has anyone else gone through this? Is this something that could cause me problems in the future? What would be the best course of action from here?
Bulldozed Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I know what you're going through. I had the same problem. I drank way too much, with the same goal, to pass out, rather than lay in bed going through my mind everything that went wrong, actually blaming myself for most of it. With time, comes clarity, and ultimately (though I'm not there yet) contentment with oneself. First things first: Lay off the booze. With the exception of a couple glasses of wine over thanksgiving, I've not had a drop since. Also - get some good books to read. I've knocked off about 6 books in the last month. This will serve two purposes, it will help you sleep, and depending on your likes (suspense, fiction, sci-fi) it will keep your mind pre-occupied, providing of course they're a good read. Hang tough bro!
LikeABirdWhoFlew Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hey man, I can totally relate to you. I have been through it all. I have to tell you that the drinking is making your depression 100 times worse than it otherwise would be. However, I do know that it is comforting at the time and helps ease the pain of anxiety, loneliness, social anxiety and depression. (I self medicate with prescription pain killers like vicodin, not alcohol but they have the same effect on the brain). I was doing REALLY well for about 1 week then decided I would make myself feel even better by taking some vicodins. Man, I am paying the price. The last 2 days have been suicidal depression and hell for me. I am on medication for depression and anxiety but it still takes a lot of foot work on my part to beat this. i.e. I need to stop taking the damn vicodin when I feel it calling me, I need to actively try to not isolate myself, I need to make sure I exercise everyday and be sure to take my meds. I know I am rambling here but to sum things up, I think you should get some help from a Phyciatrist for your depression and anxiety and stop the drinking. I know it sounds like I am asking a lot from you, but it will be worth it in the end. I was addicted to vicodin so bad, I was taking up to 20 + pills a day. I went to rehab and then met my EX. I never used during the year I was with her. Then we break up and I started with my old habits again. I have been using 4 vicodins about every other week. Doesn't sound like much but when someone is already depressed it makes it SOOOO much worse. So I need to take my own advice as well. We both need to stop the self medicating. I wish you all the luck brother.
soheartbroken Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Why not try falling asleep to the same movie every night, or an audio book (I do the audio book thing)?
confused71 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 I am in pretty much the same boat as well. Me and my ex moved from UK to Canada 3 years ago,(she got a better paying job here) but last year she had some sort of midlife crisis and had an affair amongst other crazy things. We are now divorced and I am pretty much here on my own now with no family and friends.If I went back to UK I probably wouldnt get work at the moment. I am very depressed and feel tearfull most nights which makes me feel pretty pathetic as I am a 38 year old man I drink at least 4 to six beers a night which isnt too bad,but feel pretty terrible in the morning. My ex still messes with my head and makes me feel worse.(recently saying she had broke up with OM and realised she had made a big mistake...only a day later to go back to him)She has also made the stepkids remove me from facebook so that it is difficult for me to talk to them now:(
quarterlifecrisis Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Do not drink alcohol when you are depressed. I had been drinking regularly (almost every night), in moderation (2-3 drinks) as part of an attempt to go out and meet as many new people as possible. This made me feel tired every morning. We all know what happens when we get smashed - the hangover is numbing and we are tired the next day. But what I found out is that anymore than a single glass of wine will affect your sleep negatively (even if you are not hungover). Alcohol makes it easier to fall asleep, but it also makes it harder to stay asleep or have restful sleep. As it metabolyzes and exits your body, it throws your sleep into REM rebound. You'll have way more REM sleep than you should (more dreams, nightmares, easier to wake up), and less slow wave sleep. Check it up on Google. You'll wake up feeling much more tired and fatigued. This doesn't help the rest of your routine as you end up not wanting to go do everyday things, work out, see friends. Instead, you'll get better faster if you get a good night's sleep every night and can then be active and carry on. I know this is easier said than done. I have sleep issues myself and have a prescription for Ambien. This isn't perfectly clean sleep either, but it's surely better than Whisky.
GrayClouds Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Understand the depression make thebeing feel more lonely. As everyone has already said get off the booze. It is a depressant and it depletes the chemical that makes you feel good even further. During my first months even 3-4 beers would give me 3 days of utter crap. Plus mess up your sleep circles. It helps to fall asleep but you do not sleep as deep. If your going to self-medicate at least do something helpful like vitamins D and B's. Here is some other ideas: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-weil-md/integrative-mental-health_b_354332.html If you need Anti-D's med then go get them. For most it is just a temporary thing until your body start producing what it should be producing. It usually takes a couple weeks to start feeling better, the side effect usually subsides in that time too. Fulll effects takes about 4 or so. With your swim try to rally push yourself and get yourself good and tired. Try doing some hard HIIT training if your doing just slow laps.http://www.intervaltraining.net/HiitTraining-60.html If your not journaling then start. Specially just before you sleep, Use pen and paper, more of a physical act that way. Write hard and fast and just keep writing whatever comes to you. It will bet out the BS and help with the bad dreams. Also make sure you are eating well. It sound like a no brainier but mom was right the better you eat the better you feel. One of the best things I have do to kill the alone time is to start cooking. It kill a couple of hours, specially the clean up with the mess I make, and I am actually eating well.
Author LonelyGuy85 Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 Thanks for the responses. I understand that alcohol isn't the right way forward, but at the moment it's the only thing that numbs my feelings. When i drink, the lonliness goes away and i feel less like a complete failure. I know it's not a solution but for now i find it hard to not drink. If i had a more complete and fulfilling life then i don't think i would drink so much, but that just isn't the case at the moment.
GrayClouds Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Thanks for the responses. I understand that alcohol isn't the right way forward, but at the moment it's the only thing that numbs my feelings. When i drink, the lonliness goes away and i feel less like a complete failure. I know it's not a solution but for now i find it hard to not drink. If i had a more complete and fulfilling life then i don't think i would drink so much, but that just isn't the case at the moment. If you drank less you would have a more a complete and fulfilling life... Your trying to kill the thing that will give you what you need. Stress, like lonieness is there to moves us to take action. That lonliness is telling you that you have to try some new things, some more hobbies, counseling, giving up bad habits. You do not do right things because you feel good, you feel good becouse you do the right things. You are strong enough to do the right things.
Author LonelyGuy85 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Again, all true. I originally started to feel like this a while ago but its severity increased a few months back, but i had all the same ideas you presented. I started running a lot at first, then as the winter set in and the darkness came sooner, that soon developed into swimming a lot. I was looking into some classes and activities to join to, but my irregular work hours restrict a lot of what i can do. Despite all this i still drink, simply because i have tried to remove myself from depression multiple times but each time i have failed miserably. Until one day i picked up a bottle and if i see a glimer of hope in the future then i will stop, but until that day i find it incredibly hard to stop.
GrayClouds Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Again, all true. I originally started to feel like this a while ago but its severity increased a few months back, but i had all the same ideas you presented. I started running a lot at first, then as the winter set in and the darkness came sooner, that soon developed into swimming a lot. I was looking into some classes and activities to join to, but my irregular work hours restrict a lot of what i can do. Despite all this i still drink, simply because i have tried to remove myself from depression multiple times but each time i have failed miserably. Until one day i picked up a bottle and if i see a glimer of hope in the future then i will stop, but until that day i find it incredibly hard to stop. You are looking for a glimmer hope while putting on sunglasses. Beside exercise, which is a great start, what else have you tried...Meds, SAMe, counseling?
Author LonelyGuy85 Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Honestly, none of the above. As soon as January sets in then i am going to go see a doctor about this. I realise that i need some kind of professional help, so that's a start at least. I also know that i need to be more impulsive; i need to be less afraid of asking some people from work if they want to do something sometime, or ask out a girl i like from work. At this point i am thinking that i can't feel any worse about myself, so even if she says no, at least i can take comfort in the fact that i tried.
Kic Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Alcohol costs money. Maybe set aside more in a 401k or your savings account to help discourage spending on it.
Author LonelyGuy85 Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 Although a good deterent. I have been thinking about going travelling for a while now, but in preparation for this i have been saving up a lot for the last two years. I want to do this, but until shakle this alcohol habit and get some help then i think i would just blow through my money, so i need to sort this out before i have any serious attempts at travelling.
GrayClouds Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Honestly, none of the above. As soon as January sets in then i am going to go see a doctor about this. I realise that i need some kind of professional help, so that's a start at least. I also know that i need to be more impulsive; i need to be less afraid of asking some people from work if they want to do something sometime, or ask out a girl i like from work. At this point i am thinking that i can't feel any worse about myself, so even if she says no, at least i can take comfort in the fact that i tried. Great idea about the doctor. Rather then put yourself in a situation where someone else has the control, make it easier on yourself, take a class or join a club that forces social interaction. That way you do not have to put yourself out for rejections. Try AA. It will put you around other people, get you out of the house and social. Also if the doc suggest meds, they may do some good if the booze is not interfering. Right now do not even worry about woman. It time to focus on making yourself well and strong.
Author LonelyGuy85 Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 The truth is that i go to alcohol because i have failings with my personal life, such as my lack of friends and/or girlfriend. I know that if i manage to get my personal life together then i will leave the booze, or at least enjoy it when it's appropriate to do so, and not every night like at the moment. I wouldn't say that i have a problem that warrants AA at the moment though. If it was truely destructive for me then i would stop, and i know that i would. Maybe i am just not articulate enough to describe what exactly what i am going through. It isn't the alcohol itself that has me obsessed. It's me filling the void with what i find convenient. It started with me swimming all the time but, funny enough, that became too expensive, so although i still go, i go less often. I strive to fill the void with other things: running, drinking etc. Until i can sort my life out with a decent job, friends and/or girl friend then i just don't have the motiviation to do stop drinking. I know what i need to do, and the advise offered is great, especially as a wake up that i need to put the alcohol behind me and look forward. I just need to put that into motion.
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