dreamer0123 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hi! This is my first time on here and i"m SOOO glad I found this site. I need some advise on a current situation... My ex-boyfriend (28) and I (29) ended a 3 year relationship a couple of months ago. We had been together for 3 years and I felt like I needed more of a commitment and a direction as to where this was going. He wasn't giving me any answers so we decided to end things. He felt like I wanted to end the relationship for some time now so thought he should end things first (doesn't really make sense if you are asking for more of a commitment but whatever)... We had a really good relationship- had a few ups and downs (who doesn't) but never really had any huge blowups. I know his friends thought we would get married (it was the joke in the group) and his friends adored me (they are not supporting him at all about this breakup) I am really lucky to have amazing friends and they *forced* me no to contact him and kept me occupied (not that it made it any easier). After about 3 weeks when we broke up- he called me. I didn't pick up the phone but instead sent him a text message the next day because I was out of town due to a family emergency. I told him I would contact him when I was back in town. I contacted him a couple of weeks later to let him know what happened (I didn't want him to hear from anyone else because we have some mutual friends) and we talked for about an hour. He asked me to meet up for coffee but I told him I wasn't ready to be friends yet and that things were still hard for me. Fastforward to this week- I was getting really frustrated thinking about him all the time and wanted to really to start to let him go-but felt like I needed some type of closure and answers to certain questions. So I called him a couple of nights ago. I called him and we had another good conversation and we started talking about the past. I asked him to meet up for coffee because I told him I had some questions that I needed answered. So we are meeting for coffee on Monday. So now with Monday approaching- I wanted to be prepared and confident and make him feel like he screwed up by letting "us" go (which he did). I know he misses me (just like I miss him). I've been doing a lot of reading- and I guess my question is -do you think he wants to try this again since he is the one who broke NC or am I just crazy for thinking he *might* want that? Also- does anyone have any suggestions on how to move past this? The only reason I am meeting up with him is because I want to leave all this stuff behind in 2009 and start fresh in 2010... any ideas on what I can do to fast forward the healing process? Thanks so much for reading this- sorry if it was too long!
lilbelle Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 It's called breadcrumbs Happens to all of us. Go ahead and learn the hard way. You will have to start all over. Read some of the second chance threads and coping. They throw you a breadcrumb to see where you are at. You should have not asked to see him. He should be BEGGING to see you. If he's not then I seriously doubt he will realize anything. Sorry that's how it goes
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