WhyYouWanna Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hi guys, I'll try and explain as honestly as I can but I think I'm in risk of throwing my relationship and a coming baby away. I'm 22, as is my loved one and we've been together for just over a year. September this year we had the joyful news that my girlfriend was pregnant. We both want to have kids, we've been living together since 5 months of being together (technically 3 as I loved into her moms with her before renting our place together now). She's a great woman, honest, caring, loving and we get on so so well. I love her to piece and to find she's pregnant is amazing. Since she's been pregnant (she's 5 months gone) the relationship has gone a bit strained. We generally sleep in seperate beds (she has trouble sleeping), sex is none existant and any romance has gone to virtually nothing. We're both excited and stressed as we're also buying our first home and will move in in jan next year... so things are hectic but I still value "us" time. I have a friend who i've known for a couple of year and kinda fell in love with months before even meeting my girlfriend. We get on so well although theres never nothing actually gone on as she's engaged although she broke the engagement off to be with me last year and it just never happened. Until last night. We'd been texting all day and to say i havent seen her for over a year we were talking like nothing had ever happened. Shes met my current girlfriend and knows everything about the baby etc. She said she made a mistake not getting with me last year and she regrets it. We ended up meeting up in cars last night and we ended up kissing. It was electric! Im riddled with guilt but i cant stop thinking about her. We've text all day today too and we're talking about meeting again as "friends" but i know it just wont happen like that. The texts have been slightly naughty, not all one sided i'll admit. I cant get her out of my mind, but i still love my girlfriend so much, but it feels like a relationship doesnt exist at the moment between us. What on earth can i do? I know i need to leave this other woman alone, for my sake, my girlfriends sake and my baby's sake, but i think if it wasnt for the fact im in so deep with my girlfriend id carry on. Relationship wise i feel so pushed out. All that it seems is that she's constantly tired, im doing everything and its for nothing. I know i'm being selfish but i cant help the way i feel. I welcome abuse as i am truely ashamed
mark982 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 drop this other girl--pronto. jeez man,your gf's pregnant her hormones are all over the place.
Author WhyYouWanna Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 hang on, you've miss read: we've been together for over a year and she's 5 months pregnant, we moved in after 5 months and the other girl isn't an ex, she's a close friend. The point is still the same though. I do love my girlfriend, but seeing her after a year of not seeing her (my friend)9 its brought up loads of old things for me. Timing was never right before and it still isn't (for me), she's still enaged to this other guy (who doesn't treat her right). In my mind, id love my friend to tell me one day she's found someone new who treats her well because I genuinely want her to be happy. She means a lot to me. Its so hard because I don't want to give up my relationship and soon to be family, but I'm always now wondering what if, especially after kissing her and everything we've spoken about. I've never cheated in a relationship (this is the first time) and I wouldn't have done it for anyone else. I think in a way I still love her, but I do love my girlfriend totally and this whole lack of affection from my girlfriend (due to the pregnancy) has brough up loads of issues for me. Man I'm so screwed up in the head atm...
Lish Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) hang on, you've miss read: we've been together for over a year and she's 5 months pregnant, we moved in after 5 months and the other girl isn't an ex, she's a close friend. The point is still the same though. I do love my girlfriend, but seeing her after a year of not seeing her (my friend)9 its brought up loads of old things for me. Timing was never right before and it still isn't (for me), she's still enaged to this other guy (who doesn't treat her right). In my mind, id love my friend to tell me one day she's found someone new who treats her well because I genuinely want her to be happy. She means a lot to me. Its so hard because I don't want to give up my relationship and soon to be family, but I'm always now wondering what if, especially after kissing her and everything we've spoken about. I've never cheated in a relationship (this is the first time) and I wouldn't have done it for anyone else. I think in a way I still love her, but I do love my girlfriend totally and this whole lack of affection from my girlfriend (due to the pregnancy) has brough up loads of issues for me. Man I'm so screwed up in the head atm... This is one of the biggest understatements I have EVER read. Listen to me, darling. This girl is carrying your child. Alot of women find pregnancy incredibly tiring, stressful and uncomfortable. And funnily enough, as soon as I read that she was pregnant, I would have bet my bottom dollar that this was about you getting laid. Out of respect (you might like to try it sometime?) for you, your girlfriend doesn't sleep in the same bed as you. If she isn't sleeping well, she will be moving around all night long, and thus disturbing your sleep. It is a well documented fact that sex drives are greatly influenced by tiredness. And you've got yourself to blame for her tiredness; YOU got her pregnant. She is probably uncontrollably tired and I dunno, perhaps she's not as confident about her body as she once was... she HAS gone through a drastic change in shape, afterall. And don't even get me started about her hormones... And you wouldn't have cheated for anyone else? Are you effin' kidding me? It's almost like you're trying to make yourself feel better by trying to convince yourself of that. I understand you have emotional and sexual needs ..I really do understand that. If your post was elsewhere on these forums and not about the fact you cheated on your pregnant girlfriend, I would be advising you on how to approach her about this. But oh no.. your way of thanking the girl that is carrying your baby is to send dirty texts to another female. You're about to become a father. Get rid of this "friend" - stop feeling sorry for her about her relationship. I'm not condoning any ill treatment, but she knows it's wrong and only SHE can get herself out of that situation. So please, baring in mind you've not heard from her in months, mind your own bloody business. Seriously. You are about to become a father.. and I'll try to put this in the nicest way I can... GET A ****ING GRIP. Edited December 17, 2009 by Lish
an hero Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not sure if it would be best to tell her while she is pregnant, considering how stressed she already is. The very least you could do now is to cut this other girl out of your life completely. Severe every possible contact.
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