tigressA Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I don't know. It could be due to a purity thing, women are meant to be innocent and pure, in fact, not so long ago, and still existing in some cultures to date, that women marry virgins. The chastity belt. I read somewhere they used to check for the blood on the wedding night. Yes, they would do that when royalty got married. It was called the "showing of the sheets". It would be done the morning after the "bedding ceremony" in order to prove that the union was consummated. This was important because not only did it prove the woman's purity up until her wedding night, if a marriage was left unconsummated it could be a political disaster. Most weddings between royalty were treaty weddings, brokered in alliances between countries or as a peace offering. And...I'm a history geek...
Author betamanlet Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 This was the case with my most recent ex. He was a virgin at 23, when I met him, but I certainly didn't find him any less attractive for it. He was a fast and eager learner, too. Say instead he was 33?
tigressA Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Say instead he was 33? I wouldn't even go for a guy that old at my age; I'm 22. But if I did, I wouldn't see a problem with it if we were otherwise compatible.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Say instead he was 33? To be honest, men prejudge women on that. Men think women want an experienced lover, and would dump a man because he's not. Experience comes in time and effort. I'd much sooner take a guy (23, 18, or even 33) who was inexperienced but willing and eager to learn and please, than a man who has bucketloads of experience but not a clue how to actually use it, and with no interest to learn. After all, they have it all down, right? Some women would be turned off by lack of experience, but most, wouldn't. Women don't often think like that, men just assume they do. Most of us have had the guy who has slept about a bit, and been absolutely awful. I mean, awful. Like someone who performs cabaret going to actually do a proper performance, all the wrong tricks, the wrong performance technique, it just doesn't work. If you catch my drift.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Yes, they would do that when royalty got married. It was called the "showing of the sheets". It would be done the morning after the "bedding ceremony" in order to prove that the union was consummated. This was important because not only did it prove the woman's purity up until her wedding night, if a marriage was left unconsummated it could be a political disaster. Most weddings between royalty were treaty weddings, brokered in alliances between countries or as a peace offering. And...I'm a history geek... Nothing wrong with that I am a little too. There's an interesting scene in the film Caramel about that. It's about a (I think she's muslim) girl who lost her V before marriage, to someone who wasn't her arranged husband, and had to have surgery to 'rectify' or 'restore' her hymen. Creepy, but interesting the lengths women have to go to, to keep up the pretence of being 'pure'. Although I doubt purity is in any way related to that in fact.
tigressA Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Some women would be turned off by lack of experience, but most, wouldn't. Women don't often think like that, men just assume they do. Most of us have had the guy who has slept about a bit, and been absolutely awful. I mean, awful. Like someone who performs cabaret going to actually do a proper performance, all the wrong tricks, the wrong performance technique, it just doesn't work. If you catch my drift. The most "experienced" guy I ever dated, he'd been with 15 other girls before me, and he was the most awful I've EVER had in bed. Far and away the absolute worst.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 The most "experienced" guy I ever dated, he'd been with 15 other girls before me, and he was the most awful I've EVER had in bed. Far and away the absolute worst. I hate the assumption men make that the more women they've 'had', the better they are. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Experience does not equate to skill. It just so happens you were lucky enough to get x number of women into bed, not to say they enjoyed it...lucky for him, unfortunate for the women lol. 'Skill' in the bedroom is all about a willingness to learn, to try, to listen. Not to just think 'I've done this all before, don't need to change anything.'
Author betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 I hate the assumption men make that the more women they've 'had', the better they are. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Experience does not equate to skill. It just so happens you were lucky enough to get x number of women into bed, not to say they enjoyed it...lucky for him, unfortunate for the women lol. 'Skill' in the bedroom is all about a willingness to learn, to try, to listen. Not to just think 'I've done this all before, don't need to change anything.' I think you mean to say that #s of women doesn't equate to experience or skill. I guy could have sex with 100 hookers and have no idea what he's doing.
Rhythmic Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 To be honest, men prejudge women on that. Men think women want an experienced lover, and would dump a man because he's not. Experience comes in time and effort. I'd much sooner take a guy (23, 18, or even 33) who was inexperienced but willing and eager to learn and please, than a man who has bucketloads of experience but not a clue how to actually use it, and with no interest to learn. After all, they have it all down, right? Some women would be turned off by lack of experience, but most, wouldn't. Women don't often think like that, men just assume they do. Most of us have had the guy who has slept about a bit, and been absolutely awful. I mean, awful. Like someone who performs cabaret going to actually do a proper performance, all the wrong tricks, the wrong performance technique, it just doesn't work. If you catch my drift. No, Men don't prejudge women on that we get that idea when we see guys who have held the vcard too long get passed over for it time and time again. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t213445/ Regardless if you happen to be the exception.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 No, Men don't prejudge women on that we get that idea when we see guys who have held the vcard too long get passed over for it time and time again. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t213445/ Regardless if you happen to be the exception. Not necessarily. There a guys who lose their V's later on in life for various reasons. My point was, that not all women want a man who has slept with 20 women, or more, we don't suddenly turn around and think 'ooooh get him, he's had 20 women, what a stud.' Not at all. If I, or any other woman, were compatible and had great chemistry with a man who wasn't experienced, we would still date him. The worry about man not having had serious relationships isn't sexually experienced related, it's about emotional experience, does he actually not want an R?
Rhythmic Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Not necessarily. There a guys who lose their V's later on in life for various reasons. My point was, that not all women want a man who has slept with 20 women, or more, we don't suddenly turn around and think 'ooooh get him, he's had 20 women, what a stud.' Not at all. If I, or any other woman, were compatible and had great chemistry with a man who wasn't experienced, we would still date him. The worry about man not having had serious relationships isn't sexually experienced related, it's about emotional experience, does he actually not want an R? you didn't even read that thread filled with examples showing that the majority of women don't think like you and other women were going along with the idea as well? Not saying all women are like that but it doesn't matter if you aren't if the majority of women are. Which they are. I like how when there is a thread in which women are the ones bashing male virgins I never really see women like yourself go in there and argue with the other women. Why do you all only show up when it is only guys venting? It has been something I've noticed about these forums for the past months I've been lurking here.
Author betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 No, Men don't prejudge women on that we get that idea when we see guys who have held the vcard too long get passed over for it time and time again. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t213445/ Regardless if you happen to be the exception. My last girlfriend said had she known I had such limited experienced with women, she never would have dated me in the first place. Wasn't like I had no idea what I was doing, i could always outlast her, always willing to try things. It was the lack of a seal of approval. I had not had sex many times before meeting her.
Author betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 you didn't even read that thread filled with examples showing that the majority of women don't think like you and other women were going along with the idea as well? Not saying all women are like that but it doesn't matter if you aren't if the majority of women are. Which they are. I like how when there is a thread in which women are the ones bashing male virgins I never really see women like yourself go in there and argue with the other women. Why do you all only show up when it is only guys venting? It has been something I've noticed about these forums for the past months I've been lurking here. Male virgins are low status. Life is about status because most people are insecure. That's life.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 you didn't even read that thread filled with examples showing that the majority of women don't think like you and other women were going along with the idea as well? Not saying all women are like that but it doesn't matter if you aren't if the majority of women are. Which they are. I like how when there is a thread in which women are the ones bashing male virgins I never really see women like yourself go in there and argue with the other women. Why do you all only show up when it is only guys venting? It has been something I've noticed about these forums for the past months I've been lurking here. One thread does not actually pose as the majority of women! Geez, as I've said, there are men who have slept around loads and are still not doing it right. It's far more a turn off a guy who has experience and still can't figure it out, than a guy without experience who can't, but will learn in time. I haven't actually seen many threads, but when I do, I'll be sure to post something. My point actually is (again), no matter how many women you sleep with, does not make you good in bed. Course many women would take the more experienced guy, but like I said, if you really like the guy, the inexperience he has should not stop you being with a person.
Author betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 One thread does not actually pose as the majority of women! Geez, as I've said, there are men who have slept around loads and are still not doing it right. It's far more a turn off a guy who has experience and still can't figure it out, than a guy without experience who can't, but will learn in time. I haven't actually seen many threads, but when I do, I'll be sure to post something. My point actually is (again), no matter how many women you sleep with, does not make you good in bed. Course many women would take the more experienced guy, but like I said, if you really like the guy, the inexperience he has should not stop you being with a person. "should" but doesn't, because it means he lacks the seal of approval of other women, as women desire men that other women desire.
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