b52s Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) I have noticed quite a few.....relationship "moves" people made ...some female friends of mine lately that might be motivated by the fact that it's the holidays....and due to depression of not having anyone in their life....they wind up finding someone in desperation. 1. A female friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend, because it was a long distance relationship that didn't work out....she remained single for about a month....and as the holidays are growing closer all of a sudden her "relationship status" on FB changed to "in a relationship" once again. I asked her bout it, because she was actually scheduled to leave my area to go to live near her parents in one state...the said boyfriend is still in ANOTHER state, but she said they'll spend time taking plane trips to each other through the course of the year......not sure how that'll work out, but I my doubts, since they will never be together geographically. 2. Situation here....woman who was dating AND engaged to a guy for 2 years....he called off the engagement, because they were BOTH single parents, and he wanted to relocate to his home state (where the mom is) so he could be closer with his kids.....she didn't want this...so she was depressed about this for months....all of a sudden "Married" in her status online. Someone commented on her while about the "sudden change" of her last name....he said, "I need to check my FB MORE often!" And her response was..."well,I just changed my last name on here this past weekend. LOL" She's a fit hot mother...nice rack, killer athletic body, actually kind of models locally....he's got a big beer gut, go figure, lol But I guess that's beside the point (this is not Holiday motivated, but it made me remember this) When I was back in college, one girl had a boyfriend that was away on an internship alot, but home for the summer to be with her. Eventually, "out of sight" became "out of mind" when they were away from each other....eventually she called it off...and started dating other guys....all of a sudden "Boom" he gets desperate and proposes marriage to her.....now they're married. Go figure. But...even there, is that a reason to get married? Is that an act of desperation as well? In BOTH cases, these people didn't want to break up actually...but still, I think the Holidays motivated these desperate moves...or ...were they desperate?? The common trend here is going back to ex's that they've broken up with (not desperate enough to find relationships with NEW people....probably too hard if you did it that way). NO one is desperate enough to find someone NEW, however, they are desperate enough to go back with an ex...or try to WORK on a relationship? And.....this could be a 2-part thread.....what's with these, "Sudden Marriages". Ever known a person to just "out of the blue" to be single....then be married?? A total 180 that throws you for a loop. And you...as a person who lives the comfortable singles lifestyle....never probably would have that happen to you (probably because you're too wise, right?) Anyhow, any thoughts, feedback, etc?? Edited December 17, 2009 by b52s
Author b52s Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 *edit*******************************************************************
betamanlet Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I have noticed quite a few.....relationship "moves" people made ...some female friends of mine lately that might be motivated by the fact that it's the holidays....and due to depression of not having anyone in their life....they wind up finding someone in desperation. 1. A female friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend, because it was a long distance relationship that didn't work out....she remained single for about a month....and as the holidays are growing closer all of a sudden her "relationship status" on FB changed to "in a relationship" once again. I asked her bout it, because she was actually scheduled to leave my area to go to live near her parents in one state...the said boyfriend is still in ANOTHER state, but she said they'll spend time taking plane trips to each other through the course of the year......not sure how that'll work out, but I my doubts, since they will never be together geographically. 2. Situation here....woman who was dating AND engaged to a guy for 2 years....he called off the engagement, because they were BOTH single parents, and he wanted to relocate to his home state (where the mom is) so he could be closer with his kids.....she didn't want this...so she was depressed about this for months....all of a sudden "Married" in her status online. Someone commented on her while about the "sudden change" of her last name....he said, "I need to check my FB MORE often!" And her response was..."well,I just changed my last name on here this past weekend. LOL" She's a fit hot mother...nice rack, killer athletic body, actually kind of models locally....he's got a big beer gut, go figure, lol But I guess that's beside the point (this is not Holiday motivated, but it made me remember this) When I was back in college, one girl had a boyfriend that was away on an internship alot, but home for the summer to be with her. Eventually, "out of sight" became "out of mind" when they were away from each other....eventually she called it off...and started dating other guys....all of a sudden "Boom" he gets desperate and proposes marriage to her.....now they're married. Go figure. But...even there, is that a reason to get married? Is that an act of desperation as well? In BOTH cases, these people didn't want to break up actually...but still, I think the Holidays motivated these desperate moves...or ...were they desperate?? The common trend here is going back to ex's that they've broken up with (not desperate enough to find relationships with NEW people....probably too hard if you did it that way). NO one is desperate enough to find someone NEW, however, they are desperate enough to go back with an ex...or try to WORK on a relationship? And.....this could be a 2-part thread.....what's with these, "Sudden Marriages". Ever known a person to just "out of the blue" to be single....then be married?? A total 180 that throws you for a loop. And you...as a person who lives the comfortable singles lifestyle....never probably would have that happen to you (probably because you're too wise, right?) Anyhow, any thoughts, feedback, etc?? Look at my topic. I find it comical how people take for granted what they have had. I have NEVER had a relationship on the holidays in my 34 years of living. it's not the end of the world, and people go nuts over being alone for one holiday? I've never even kissed a woman at midnight on new years eve in my 34 years of living.
phineas Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Being single on the holidays is just fine for me. No hassle trying to figure out a gift for the girl your sorta dateing. New Yrs is easier also. chat up a bunch of women. come midnight hopefully at least one will make bee-line for you to get that kiss. But, i've had women that friendzoned me in the past try to get me to be their New Years date for a party & I wanted no part of that.
D-Jam Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I agree with the idea in general that a lot of insecure folk do get desperate around the holidays. In many cases they don't want to face the holidays, parties, or even family alone. From family and peers you get the occasional hits of how you're not married or with someone, and sometimes the comments are made to make you feel bad about you being single. Like there's something wrong with you because you're single and not married or in a RL. New Years is the worst. I don't care what anyone says...it's become and/or always has been a couples holiday. You see the parties and events and either see peers working on a "hookup" for a midnight kiss (so not to look like a loser) or worse they treat it like senior prom, scouring to have a hot date to yet again not look bad. Lord knows I'd avoid NYE events simply because it gets too couples-centric. So for many, the desperation kicks in. That ex, or person you were "eh" about, or some new person suddenly jumps into the works and becomes a "let's give it a shot". I remember several times when I was single where women suddenly took great interest in me around early December, but only to change their minds mid-month or even after New Years. Some simply see it as getting someone for the sake of the holiday season and end up sometime before or after Valentine's Day...or by Summer. The summer thing was more meant as a "free and flirting" logic, as to seek out hookups and fiery flings that won't elevate to a deep RL, but will be loads of fun. Anyway, I rambled here...I agree SOME people get desperate around the holidays.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 NO one is desperate enough to find someone NEW, however, they are desperate enough to go back with an ex...or try to WORK on a relationship? Well, this is just good business. It's ALWAYS cheaper to retain a customer than try to get a new one. And it's ALWAYS cheaper to keep an employee than hire a new one. LOL Sounds like common sense to me. Cheaper to keep your old relationship than look for a new one. Less time to invest and money, too.
Author b52s Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Well, this is just good business. It's ALWAYS cheaper to retain a customer than try to get a new one. And it's ALWAYS cheaper to keep an employee than hire a new one. LOL Sounds like common sense to me. Cheaper to keep your old relationship than look for a new one. Less time to invest and money, too. Right, pick your poison, eh? lol
torranceshipman Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I do totally understand why people do this. I was single for most Christmas's etc over the last few yrs and always wished I had someone on the actual day (not so much I went out and settled for a random guy though!) - this is the 1st one in yrs when I actually get to spend it with someone I really love...
Yukikazi Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 As my plans fell through.. looks like I'll be drinking for xmas... alone
espec10001 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I asked Santy Claus for a woman this year, but he told me I've been a bad boy and she'd suffocate in the box
Sam Spade Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Well, this is just good business. It's ALWAYS cheaper to retain a customer than try to get a new one. And it's ALWAYS cheaper to keep an employee than hire a new one. LOL Sounds like common sense to me. Cheaper to keep your old relationship than look for a new one. Less time to invest and money, too. Yep. Also, let's take a step back here ==> is it really so horrible to look for a partner for a whole sort of social reasons??? We are pack animals and we need structured human interaction. Well, guess what - all relationships are primarily social. I'll go on a limb here and suggest that the whole love crap unnecessarily complicated human relationships and companionship.
Sam Spade Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I've spent a few new years alone with a bottle. It's actually pretty therapeutic (or so it seems when you drink )
Yukikazi Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I've spent a few new years alone with a bottle. It's actually pretty therapeutic (or so it seems when you drink ) Well thankfully I got plans with the roomie on NYE.. Crystal Method Will need to be sure I behave with her... and go hit on other girls instead... Gotta try to get someone to smooch at 12..
Author b52s Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Yep. Also, let's take a step back here ==> is it really so horrible to look for a partner for a whole sort of social reasons??? We are pack animals and we need structured human interaction. Well, guess what - all relationships are primarily social. I'll go on a limb here and suggest that the whole love crap unnecessarily complicated human relationships and companionship. So, about the woman who got married all of a sudden to a man she JUST broke up with a few months ago, was that an act of desperation (which is kind of the point of my post)?
Sam Spade Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 So, about the woman who got married all of a sudden to a man she JUST broke up with a few months ago, was that an act of desperation (which is kind of the point of my post)? Could be, but it could also be her coming to her senses (as in "Wait a minute! How come I dumped him for not being [insert any run of the mill stoppid female relationship criterion] here, while in reality he is such a nice guy that would be great to live with and spend the holidays with")
Author b52s Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 Could be, but it could also be her coming to her senses (as in "Wait a minute! How come I dumped him for not being [insert any run of the mill stoppid female relationship criterion] here, while in reality he is such a nice guy that would be great to live with and spend the holidays with") Right, then file for divorce come around Valentines day or summer. When all that impulsive holiday depression has worn off.
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