soconfusedreally Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 So, the breakup is pretty recent (past 2 months) and I had a couple of things put away for christmas. I am leaning toward just giving them to him. Thoughts? Is it bad? Don't know what else to do with them. Can't take them back. I really want him back but don't know where his head is. I'm still confused on the whole breakup to begin with. We've been together for a long time. Talked about future. Although we had some problems, it kind of came out of nowhere for me. I'm going crazy
sugarmomma Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 He dumped you and you wanna give HIM a gift for Christmas? Love is a gift that should be freely given. You can't buy him back. I would let it go especially since he hasn't reconsidered the breakup. Just imagine if you give him the gifts and he still rejects you or even worse. Please don't. Just move on. He has.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I won't be giving my ex a present, we're in touch, still friends, I made handmade cards and gave him one, but left it at that.
Kantor Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Im going to swing from the hip on this one, might not be the advice most people are giving... To me, it depends on what your intentions are... Yes he broke up with you, and it sounds like it came out of no where and you had a pretty good relationship otherwise? *Knock on wood* sounds like how I treated my ex and I'm a huge moron for it, but I was suffering from a problem with commitment I didn't realize I had until after the dust had began to settle. Way your pros and cons.. What do you get out of giving him gifts / what you don't get out of giving them to him. Plus its all in the delivery of how you do it, so you give them to him, tell him that you bought them before the breakup and knew he would still appreciate them. Girl did that to me, even if I broke up with her, I would still melt like butter. Now like I said, this may go against all other advice, and may not help in your healing process. However, you get rid of the presents that will haunt you in your closet knowing they were for him, and he gets a fond memory of you being the kind person it sounds like you are. Way your options and do whats best for you, each situation is different.
faf Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Don't reward him for breaking up with you. If you need to get rid of the gifts you can send them to me or just toss them in a dumpster on the bad side of town.
lilbelle Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 absolutely not. no way. don't give him anything. give them to charity. I got ex a football signed by his fav QB and guess what, going to charity. He deserves nothing from me.
DustySaltus Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Don't give them to him. All you wanted was HIM for christmas and he's not there, don't reward him for that. Donate the gifts to someone who will truly appreciate them, Or go on Craigslist and barter them for something you really want....
hoping2heal Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Don't give them to him. All you wanted was HIM for christmas and he's not there, don't reward him for that. Donate the gifts to someone who will truly appreciate them, Or go on Craigslist and barter them for something you really want.... I couldn't have put it better. If you can't take them back donate to good cause like this poster said. I also agree with sugarmomma- that you won't buy his love back. The biggest red flag to you regarding get back together with him- should be that you don't KNOW why it ended to begin with.
bluestraps Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I sent a birthday card and a poem I wrote to my ex last month. I didnt really get a response from her. But I know thru a friend that she was surprised , not sure what it means but.. Your motivation is to show you still care. You may not get any response so be prepared , also one christmass gift wont change anything.
xerofate Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I'm giving my ex a gift. Gonna get her a sack o coffee from dunkin donuts. She likes coffee. I'm thinking of it as a nice gesture, because she's been very sick. Not only that, but we have a kid together. Not expecting anything except a text that says "thank you, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything." And honestly, I could kind of care less if she wanted me back. It's kinda like... sure, we could try it again. You need some therapy first though.....
females_lie Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Im in the same boat...broke up 3 weeks ago after a 8 year relationship...I had bought her a movado...returned it and bought myself stuff. Still have a few small things..but im not giving them unless she gives me something or contacts me for that matter...afterall...Im a week into nc and dont wanna go back.
1life8love1trust Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 You know what I am in the very same both you are. Its also her Birthday on the 20th. I had planned to get her a Shiatsu for her birthday and the extra stuff to raise it with for Christmas, but why? Its been over two months for me too. She has a new guy in her life now, I am pretty sure he has her taken care of. I don't know about you but if he has a new girl in his life, then I am pretty sure that you giving him something will not really catch his attention. Unless of course he is just trying to slow you guys relationship down a bit. I mean there is a difference between space to figure things out and space cause he/she found someone new. I really want too, but I learned that we shouldn't.
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