mommy2kiera Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I am sitting here at work typing this because embarassingly enough I am at work in a flow of tears. I don't know how I will be able to hold myself together anymore to be honest. I found out my husband created another email account today and to me that kinda shows he is hiding something, he says it is so he knows I can't log into his account anymore. So I had been staying strong and not begging him but I just don't see how the no contact thing will work or I will feel like I have done all I could to sit and watch him go. He wants to leave he says, he says it's over and there is no hope to get back together. I see all these people say that no contact works but does it really with someone who is so deadset on leaving? I don't know how to begin to accept that he is leaving. I figured he would be mad for a few days and that would be it but he is serious this time. I guess it is like I read on another post, maybe it seems sudden to me but he had been feeling that way for a long time. What do I do? How do I live without begging him everyday? I try so hard to stay strong and then when I am around him and see him acting like nothing is wrong it tears me up so much.
soheartbroken Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hi. I hear how much you are hurting, and I'm sorry. Sadly, No Contact does not always work. It certainly hasn't worked for me. And after reading these boards, I've noticed that it doesn't seem to work that well for women in general (anyone else get this sense? I think it might have to do with the different reasons that men and women leave relationships). Anyway, NC is supposed to be for your own sanity, to decrease your anxiety.
JLoves Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Every time you beg, you show that you have low respect for yourself. Every time you do it, you show yourself to be the person they don't want to be around with. Look up doing a 180 on the forum. It does work, although if the other person is dead set on leaving, there is not much you can do about it. Then the other side of NC and 180 kicks in. The part where it builds your confidence that you can make it alone with out the other person. I've been LC for a month.. Still waiting for it to have any effect on my W. She seems to be happily having a party with her single life. I don't think there's much difference between and woman and a man. It really comes down to the leaver and the left behind. J
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